Need help with 6 year old - Any advice is much appreciated

[Anonymous]

Our daughter is having some social issues, when someone is being mean to her she is not sure on how to handle it and gets left out because of the way she handles things. An

Does she need to speak to some one or is this just part of growing up. She has had several issues here and there and it leads me to believe she might need some help.

Can someone recommend what I need to do or what I can do to help her out.

Thank you

[Anonymous]

She needs YOUR help. You're the parent. So help her. Have her come up with things she can say when someone's being mean. A few different things. Tell her to listen to what other people say when someone's mean to them - do they difuse the situation, double-down on meanness, tattle, what?

Role play with her with you being the mean girl and with her being the mean girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She needs YOUR help. You're the parent. So help her. Have her come up with things she can say when someone's being mean. A few different things. Tell her to listen to what other people say when someone's mean to them - do they difuse the situation, double-down on meanness, tattle, what?

Role play with her with you being the mean girl and with her being the mean girl.

I agree with this. But if it's a recurrent issue and/or your role playing doesn't help, I wouldn't hesitate to talk to your school's counselor. Many counselors run lunch bunches for kids who are having trouble navigating this kind of thing.

[Anonymous]

I would consider one of the Positive Parenting sessions about social skills.

Also, when you say she does not know how to respond, how do you know this? From watching playdates? If so, I'd ask her to brainstorm all the possible responses and then go thru them one by one...

[Anonymous]

Does she have trouble reading social situations in general? Does she get angry easily and lash out? Does she get upset and teary? If it's the first, you may need some outside help. If it's her reactions to uncomfortable/upsetting situations, some role playing and talking through with you would be good. Help her understand why kids are mean (insecurity, etc.) and how she can react externally in a way that doesn't escalate it and internally in a way that helps her have perspective and builds self-esteem. These are skills she will need more and more as social dynamics get more complicated.

[Anonymous]

Does your child give examples of what is mean behavior? Maybe she is overreacting?

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your responses. No she does not lash out. She is a happy child gets sad but keeps trying to be friends with kids.

Also I think she annoys her friends as she is too clingy or talks on some random stuff. I always see her having a hard time.

[LastAcorn99]

I can understand your concern. My son also use to be very helpless around friends and classmates who are aggressive and mean. I had to teach him how to respond based on the situation he mentioned. Since we cannot always control the presence of mean friends and unpleasant situations, I believe that as parents our role is to give our children some guidance on how to respond, but leave them to learn to handle their problems by themselves. Hugs to you and your daughter.