6 yo DS anxiety ridden at camp due to "sports"

[Anonymous]

He has Aspergers/ADHD/Dyspraxia/Hypermobility/Low Tone/Convergence Insufficiency. He has always been teased about his slow running.

He is at a therapeutic OT/Social Skills camp, so I thought that it would not be an issue but he came home ranting and raving about how he hates "sports" (not realizing that the biking, taekwondo and swimming that he does are also "sports"). Apparently they played kickball yesterday (just one activity among others) and he was teased. We explained that those other things he does are sports, and that different people are good at different things. We explained the important thing is to try, and to be a good sport.

What is the best thing for us to do? Nothing? He was so stressed out this morning about going. Should we care that he was teased - or should we chalk it up to the fact that he will always be teased and just work on how to react (which we have done before, using books and puppets, etc).

He is very socially motivated but is awkward and anxious.

I feel bad because I was hoping the entry into camp would not be stressful but he has been a mess the past two days.

[Anonymous]

Can you talk to the director? I'd be surprised if this has never come up before. Maybe they can offer an alternative activity during the more sporty ones.

[Anonymous]

Talk to the counselors and director. Teasing is not ok, especially at a so-called therapeutic camp.

[Anonymous]

My DS almost 9 and a rising 4th grader with ASD/ADHD/developmental coordination disorder has never been teased about his lack of coordination or anything else.

You shouldn't have the attitude that it is a "given" that your son will be teased about his SNs. Talk to the people running the camp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you talk to the director? I'd be surprised if this has never come up before. Maybe they can offer an alternative activity during the more sporty ones.

I don't think not doing the activity is the answer; it's the getting teased part that's the problem. We can't always avoid activities we don't like. It's important to be a good sport, try your best, and more importantly keep things in perspective. Not being good at running, but putting forth effort, and learning to let it go.

OP, definitely talk to the director/group leader. Also, try to figure out what happened. Was he teased/made fun of or was some other kid critical of him? Wishing you the best b/c if he did get teased that just stinks.

[Anonymous]

Gosh, that sounds awful. It's great you are considering working with him about how to react as this is a long-term skill he'll have to learn but there is no reason for a 6 year old kid to have to deal with this all by himself. Talk to the director, have them address the teasing and make sure the counselors make him fell welcome in the games.

[Anonymous]

Definitely talk to the director. There is no excuse for that behavior anywhere, but especially at a therapeutic camp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you talk to the director? I'd be surprised if this has never come up before. Maybe they can offer an alternative activity during the more sporty ones.

I don't think not doing the activity is the answer; it's the getting teased part that's the problem. We can't always avoid activities we don't like. It's important to be a good sport, try your best, and more importantly keep things in perspective. Not being good at running, but putting forth effort, and learning to let it go.

OP, definitely talk to the director/group leader. Also, try to figure out what happened. Was he teased/made fun of or was some other kid critical of him? Wishing you the best b/c if he did get teased that just stinks.

I disagree. Nowhere except in childhood is one required to play kickball. An adult with low tone, hypermobility, any other physical disability is able to choose activities suitable to his or her strengths and interests. A therapeutic camp should understand this. You have to pick some activity but it doesn't have to be kickball.

I do agree on addressing the teasing and also working with him on his reactions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you talk to the director? I'd be surprised if this has never come up before. Maybe they can offer an alternative activity during the more sporty ones.

I don't think not doing the activity is the answer; it's the getting teased part that's the problem. We can't always avoid activities we don't like. It's important to be a good sport, try your best, and more importantly keep things in perspective. Not being good at running, but putting forth effort, and learning to let it go.

OP, definitely talk to the director/group leader. Also, try to figure out what happened. Was he teased/made fun of or was some other kid critical of him? Wishing you the best b/c if he did get teased that just stinks.

I disagree. Nowhere except in childhood is one required to play kickball. An adult with low tone, hypermobility, any other physical disability is able to choose activities suitable to his or her strengths and interests. A therapeutic camp should understand this. You have to pick some activity but it doesn't have to be kickball.

I do agree on addressing the teasing and also working with him on his reactions.

I don't think it was the kickball that got him upset. It was the teasing. It sounds like OP's kid has been teased in the past for being a slow runner. My point is not to internalize the teasing--not put up with it either, but build perspective. OP's kid may not like running but he likes swimming and martial arts, and some point he'll realize that they are sports and he'll hopefully learn to accept that he's not the fastest runner, but that's okay.

[Anonymous]

I agree, nobody should have to play kickball. And her son has aspergers, adhd, plus low tone and mobility challenges and.... FFS he's going to hate kickball and be really bad at it and the kids are going to say something. Of course, at a therapeutic camp that should be shut down, but he should also be able to choose NOT to do group sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree, nobody should have to play kickball. And her son has aspergers, adhd, plus low tone and mobility challenges and.... FFS he's going to hate kickball and be really bad at it and the kids are going to say something. Of course, at a therapeutic camp that should be shut down, but he should also be able to choose NOT to do group sports.

What? And, the camp is working on OT issues as well as social skills. I'm sure they adapt the games for the kids at a therapeutic camp. This exactly the place where a low tone kid with coordination/mobility challenges should play and learn it's okay not to be great at something. Flexible thinking.

[Anonymous]

OP should definitely speak to the director. This can be a learning opportunity for all the kids. Something similar happened to my child. When I brought it up to the school (SN school), they did social skills teaching about the issue.

My child is now a little better with speaking up for himself, telling kids to "stop it" and getting a teacher involved to help. But I feel like many kids with ASDs have trouble defending themselves from teasing and are easy targets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP should definitely speak to the director. This can be a learning opportunity for all the kids. Something similar happened to my child. When I brought it up to the school (SN school), they did social skills teaching about the issue.

My child is now a little better with speaking up for himself, telling kids to "stop it" and getting a teacher involved to help. But I feel like many kids with ASDs have trouble defending themselves from teasing and are easy targets.

22:30 again

Our mainstream school had a social skills lesson about differences for the grade when DS was in prek. DS has ASD/ADHD. The Sp Ed coordinator came into the classroom and gave a talk and had parents speak with their kids. The lesson must have stuck since DS has never been teased or bullied and loves PE.

[Anonymous]

Definitely talk to the Director. No one should be teased or just put up with it. Don't ever think that he is just 'always' going to be teased. Imagine how he might feel knowing that no one will be his advocate or help in that situation. He needs to know that you are there for him no matter what. I am not saying you don't, but just remember, we are their army, their fighter, support system. I know you are an awesome mama just trying to find out what is right to do in this particular situation and no one should judge, but put themselves in your shoes and offer you the best advice to help everyone find a happy medium. I will be praying that it all works out. Hang in there mama and keep up the fight. God bless!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely talk to the Director. No one should be teased or just put up with it. Don't ever think that he is just 'always' going to be teased. Imagine how he might feel knowing that no one will be his advocate or help in that situation. He needs to know that you are there for him no matter what. I am not saying you don't, but just remember, we are their army, their fighter, support system. I know you are an awesome mama just trying to find out what is right to do in this particular situation and no one should judge, but put themselves in your shoes and offer you the best advice to help everyone find a happy medium. I will be praying that it all works out. Hang in there mama and keep up the fight. God bless!

Please talk to the director, but not in this way. Children need to learn how to handle teasing. There are ways to handle anxiety. Ways to handle anger. Words to say to people in these situations to diffuse the situation. This is what your child needs to learn. Yes, the director can let your child know that adults are there to help him whenever help is needed.