Most cringe-worthy thing someone has said to or about your child?

[Anonymous]

We have some friends we hang out with fairly often and I like them a lot but the mom has asked me a few times if I am "sure" that my DS is on the spectrum. Yes, I am. We've had a full evaluation through insurance and another through the school district. I also wouldn't willingly get an IEP, do hours of ABA, speech and OT a week, pay $ for everything under the sun that might help and have to do all the other 101 things we do without a diagnosis. I generally interpret her comments as trying to be positive and suggest that he's high functioning but there is also a part of me that thinks it's totally inappropriate. I'd love for him not to have all these challenges since it would make it easier for him and us too but he does so I don't get why she questions it. Today she asked if we thought she should get her DS evaluated because occasionally he hand flaps. I've seen him many times in different settings and I can confidently say that he's completely NT. I have an NT child as well and some really good ASD radar and I'm sure her DS is nowhere near the spectrum. I really don't think she means anything by it and I will say something more pointed if I feel like it sometime, but it got me wondering what are some of the other cringe-worthy things people have said to you? It's anonymous folks - let loose!

[Anonymous]

That's cringe worthy? You have a good life, OP.

[Anonymous]

Hand flaps?

[Anonymous]

One of my kids had a Bert from Sesame Street monobrow when he was an infant (well, not exactly but you get the picture).

One day as we were waiting in the lobby during my older kid's class, another mom was looking down at him in his carrier and said very clearly and loud enough that I and several other people heard "Oh, that eyebrow!"

She then gasped, covered her mouth with her hand, then started fumbling and trying to backtrack.

Her inner voice escaped in the most embarrassing way (for both of us).

He was at the age where you rewlly want everyone to thik your child is beautiful (maybe a month or two) and I was at that post partum phase where you aren't sleeping and are a bit sensitive and emotional.

Thanks God it was my second child. If it had been my first I probably would have started crying right then and there.

Even though I was able to laugh about it later, at the time I just wanted to snatch my kid up in my arms and storm out of there.

[Anonymous]

My child is 6 and had lost 2 bottom teeth and there wasn't quite enough space for the new ones to grow in so they were coming in crooked. My SIL said to her, your teeth are so crooked. You were so much prettier before. ?

[Anonymous]

23:24 questioning whether someone's child really has autism is rude. It just is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my kids had a Bert from Sesame Street monobrow when he was an infant (well, not exactly but you get the picture).

One day as we were waiting in the lobby during my older kid's class, another mom was looking down at him in his carrier and said very clearly and loud enough that I and several other people heard "Oh, that eyebrow!"

She then gasped, covered her mouth with her hand, then started fumbling and trying to backtrack.

Her inner voice escaped in the most embarrassing way (for both of us).

He was at the age where you rewlly want everyone to thik your child is beautiful (maybe a month or two) and I was at that post partum phase where you aren't sleeping and are a bit sensitive and emotional.

Thanks God it was my second child. If it had been my first I probably would have started crying right then and there.

Even though I was able to laugh about it later, at the time I just wanted to snatch my kid up in my arms and storm out of there.

]

What did you do? I'm guessing nothing.

[Anonymous]

23:54, what did you want her to do? Challenge the other mom to a duel?

[Anonymous]

-- "Is there no hope for her?" This said by an elderly lady while we were trick or treating with DD, who uses a wheelchair. Um, what? She's out trick or treating, not on her deathbed!

[Anonymous]

A white woman followed me around the Mall with her embarrassed black boyfriend several feet behind her. Like, for awhile. Garden near the Museum of Africa Art. Check. Taking a picture with the Capitol Dome in the background, across 7th Street. Check. She caught up with us at the Natural History Museum and spoke. She had worked up the nerve, but didn't really have a plan for what she wanted to say, so she just mumbled and smiled and gestured with her hands. At first.

I was holding my 18-month-old daughter in my arms (at this point protectively).

She was trying to get at DD's heritage. As her boyfriend looked like he wanted the ground the split open and swallow him whole, she wanted to know how dark DH was and how that related to DD's warm almond complexion.

She had (interracial) baby fever, saw a baby like the one she wanted (her. words.) and thought it was okay to ask about calculating phenotype.

I've never told anyone about this. So weird.

[Anonymous]

During a particularly bad ASD meltdown an older woman came over and said, by the sound of the scream, she thought perhaps we were beating our child.

[Anonymous]

When a mom referred to my son with ASD as being "sick"... I assured her he was in fact not sick and is an awesome kid just different than some of the other kids.. I seriously wanted to punch the woman and I am absolutely the most non-violent person ever (can't even watch violence)...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
A white woman followed me around the Mall with her embarrassed black boyfriend several feet behind her. Like, for awhile. Garden near the Museum of Africa Art. Check. Taking a picture with the Capitol Dome in the background, across 7th Street. Check. She caught up with us at the Natural History Museum and spoke. She had worked up the nerve, but didn't really have a plan for what she wanted to say, so she just mumbled and smiled and gestured with her hands. At first.

I was holding my 18-month-old daughter in my arms (at this point protectively).

She was trying to get at DD's heritage. As her boyfriend looked like he wanted the ground the split open and swallow him whole, she wanted to know how dark DH was and how that related to DD's warm almond complexion.

She had (interracial) baby fever, saw a baby like the one she wanted (her. words.) and thought it was okay to ask about calculating phenotype.

I've never told anyone about this. So weird.

OMG

[Anonymous]

Someone suggested it was a shame we'd adopted her, since her problems came out after the adoption was final. Funny that the person who said it was someone who chose not to adopt her (we adopted a family member).

Were they implying we should have had her given away to strangers rather than staying within the family, among people she already knew?

Variations of this get said a couple of times a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
A white woman followed me around the Mall with her embarrassed black boyfriend several feet behind her. Like, for awhile. Garden near the Museum of Africa Art. Check. Taking a picture with the Capitol Dome in the background, across 7th Street. Check. She caught up with us at the Natural History Museum and spoke. She had worked up the nerve, but didn't really have a plan for what she wanted to say, so she just mumbled and smiled and gestured with her hands. At first.

I was holding my 18-month-old daughter in my arms (at this point protectively).

She was trying to get at DD's heritage. As her boyfriend looked like he wanted the ground the split open and swallow him whole, she wanted to know how dark DH was and how that related to DD's warm almond complexion.

She had (interracial) baby fever, saw a baby like the one she wanted (her. words.) and thought it was okay to ask about calculating phenotype.

I've never told anyone about this. So weird.

OMG

OMG indeed. I could understand having these thoughts, but expressing them to a stranger? Hell no.