Help: 9 month old a massive screamer, shrieker

[Anonymous]

This kid is LOUD! Nothing like his older brother. He screams an ear-piercing scream when he's happy, tired, hungry, sad, excited, wants something, you took something away, you name it. I'm pretty sure I have hearing loss. He's so loud I'm actually surprised my neighbors haven't called the cops or cps yet. They must think we stick him with pins all day. It also makes it pretty impossible to sleep train him because then my 3 year old is a miserable mess the next day. He doesn't have any in betweens when he wakes at night, just asleep or screaming his f'ing head off.

If anyone could give me tips on how to help "train" him, I'd really appreciate it. He screams when he's near or far so turning away and ignoring or putting him down doesn't work like it does when he bites when nursing.

Or, if there's nothing I can do, please tell me this will calm down once he's talking or at least that he will become a wildly successful singer.

[Anonymous]

Ear plugs do three year old.

[Anonymous]

Well my dc #2 had colic, then was a screamer, then was a tandrumer/ screamer, and still very much is now at 2.5 years. (He's also hilarious, affectionate and exuberant...). So it might be a phase... or buckle up, your kid could just be an intense guy!

[Anonymous]

Dream on! Dream on! Dreeeeeeeam on!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dream on! Dream on! Dreeeeeeeam on!

Oh god, this is exactly what it sounds like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well my dc #2 had colic, then was a screamer, then was a tandrumer/ screamer, and still very much is now at 2.5 years. (He's also hilarious, affectionate and exuberant...). So it might be a phase... or buckle up, your kid could just be an intense guy!

I think this is what we're in for. He was colicky for a couple of months, but is a pretty happy, intense baby. He's impossible to take anywhere. I am bummed because he has basically made eating out impossible and totally unenjoyable. I think it's important for them to learn how to behave at restaurants so I don't know how we'll teach them this.

I only dismay at this trait because I am completely fried by the end of the day because I've been screeched and screamed at all day long.

PP, how did you handle it? When you were in stores or restaurants (did you even go)? Or during the tantrums?

[Anonymous]

OP, I feel like this is going to pass by the time he's 18 months at the very latest. I know it seems like it'll go on and on forever, but I think it'll pass.

I'd just try to develop a thick skin and go out with him anyway (to kid-friendly places, of course, and maybe not to restaurants). It sounds like he screams whether happy or upset, but I assume the tone of the scream is a bit different? Most people don't mind a happy scream here and there. If he's tantruming over and over and for a long time, that could get annoying in a restaurant, but less of an issue at a large store.

As for sleep training, how bad is his sleep, and how much do you want to improve the situation? If you think he could improve within a week, then maybe just go for it and let your older kid be tired for a week (or see if he can camp out in the living room with one of you for a week or something). If not, then maybe just deal with the loss of sleep for a few more months and then reevaluate.

He probably continues to scream in part because it's fun and because it works. I'm not at all suggesting ignoring, but maybe try responding less enthusiastically. If he knows you freak out immediately whenever he screams but less quickly when he just babbles or whines, he might be prone to scream more than just whining. Perhaps trying to come to him before he screams could help? But I understand what you mean about having no in-between, so it might not be possible to catch him before the screams start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well my dc #2 had colic, then was a screamer, then was a tandrumer/ screamer, and still very much is now at 2.5 years. (He's also hilarious, affectionate and exuberant...). So it might be a phase... or buckle up, your kid could just be an intense guy!

I think this is what we're in for. He was colicky for a couple of months, but is a pretty happy, intense baby. He's impossible to take anywhere. I am bummed because he has basically made eating out impossible and totally unenjoyable. I think it's important for them to learn how to behave at restaurants so I don't know how we'll teach them this.

I only dismay at this trait because I am completely fried by the end of the day because I've been screeched and screamed at all day long.

PP, how did you handle it? When you were in stores or restaurants (did you even go)? Or during the tantrums?

How about a part time job and daycare?

[Anonymous]

Whatever you do, just don't call it "singing". I love babies and have no issue with them screaming. I can't stand when doting parents say simperingly, "are you singing?" No, she's screaming. Just own it and don't slap on some lame euphemism.

[Anonymous]

Well my dc #2 had colic, then was a screamer, then was a tandrumer/ screamer, and still very much is now at 2.5 years. (He's also hilarious, affectionate and exuberant...). So it might be a phase... or buckle up, your kid could just be an intense guy!

I think this is what we're in for. He was colicky for a couple of months, but is a pretty happy, intense baby. He's impossible to take anywhere. I am bummed because he has basically made eating out impossible and totally unenjoyable. I think it's important for them to learn how to behave at restaurants so I don't know how we'll teach them this.

I only dismay at this trait because I am completely fried by the end of the day because I've been screeched and screamed at all day long.

PP, how did you handle it? When you were in stores or restaurants (did you even go)? Or during the tantrums?

Well, PP here again, first, the screaming of course could just be a phase... But something about your description reminded me of my son - perhaps the way screaming is the "default" way to express all needs, happy or sad...

To be perfectly honest, we limit the places we go out to... Outdoor activities, big grocery stores, friends/family's house, basically places where he can be a maniac to some extent. In particular, we avoid places with a lot of attractive items that can cause meltdowns - CVS, bakery/sweets store, any place with too much tactile stuff out that is in reach. It has gotten better from about 2 yrs onward, when he really had enough words to express himself, but he has been, and probably always will be, an intense kid. One thing that has helped me personally immeasurably, is that from about 18 mos - 2 years on, his real character became more apparent. And as I said, he's hilarious and ebullient much of the time, which makes the screaming much easier to deal with then when he was a baby and seemingly always cranky, without a whole lot of other modes of expression or ways to interact with me and family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well my dc #2 had colic, then was a screamer, then was a tandrumer/ screamer, and still very much is now at 2.5 years. (He's also hilarious, affectionate and exuberant...). So it might be a phase... or buckle up, your kid could just be an intense guy!

I think this is what we're in for. He was colicky for a couple of months, but is a pretty happy, intense baby. He's impossible to take anywhere. I am bummed because he has basically made eating out impossible and totally unenjoyable. I think it's important for them to learn how to behave at restaurants so I don't know how we'll teach them this.

I only dismay at this trait because I am completely fried by the end of the day because I've been screeched and screamed at all day long.

PP, how did you handle it? When you were in stores or restaurants (did you even go)? Or during the tantrums?

How about a part time job and daycare?

Sure, super easy to come by...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whatever you do, just don't call it "singing". I love babies and have no issue with them screaming. I can't stand when doting parents say simperingly, "are you singing?" No, she's screaming. Just own it and don't slap on some lame euphemism.

I do not. I usually just apologize after one time and then leave after the second. It sure as hell ain't music to anyone's ears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Well my dc #2 had colic, then was a screamer, then was a tandrumer/ screamer, and still very much is now at 2.5 years. (He's also hilarious, affectionate and exuberant...). So it might be a phase... or buckle up, your kid could just be an intense guy!

I think this is what we're in for. He was colicky for a couple of months, but is a pretty happy, intense baby. He's impossible to take anywhere. I am bummed because he has basically made eating out impossible and totally unenjoyable. I think it's important for them to learn how to behave at restaurants so I don't know how we'll teach them this.

I only dismay at this trait because I am completely fried by the end of the day because I've been screeched and screamed at all day long.

PP, how did you handle it? When you were in stores or restaurants (did you even go)? Or during the tantrums?

Well, PP here again, first, the screaming of course could just be a phase... But something about your description reminded me of my son - perhaps the way screaming is the "default" way to express all needs, happy or sad...

To be perfectly honest, we limit the places we go out to... Outdoor activities, big grocery stores, friends/family's house, basically places where he can be a maniac to some extent. In particular, we avoid places with a lot of attractive items that can cause meltdowns - CVS, bakery/sweets store, any place with too much tactile stuff out that is in reach. It has gotten better from about 2 yrs onward, when he really had enough words to express himself, but he has been, and probably always will be, an intense kid. One thing that has helped me personally immeasurably, is that from about 18 mos - 2 years on, his real character became more apparent. And as I said, he's hilarious and ebullient much of the time, which makes the screaming much easier to deal with then when he was a baby and seemingly always cranky, without a whole lot of other modes of expression or ways to interact with me and family.

Thanks, PP. Looks like we'll be limiting for at least a few more years too. Good to hear I just need to adjust my way of thinking and maybe not try to "cure" him.

But then, if anyone else has dealt with a kid like this and has any quick fixes, I'm all ears.