Inviting Kids without Parents for Dinner

[Anonymous]

My kid is at the age when he wants to have friends over for dinner (9). We are older parents and are 10-20 years older than all of my child's friend's parents. Our friends either have grown children or no children, although we do have on friend with a baby --second marriage. Is it OK to invite our friends over for a small party and invite a few kids over for my child, but not their parents?

There is one kid in particular who has had about 3 dozen playdates at our house and 2 at friend's house. We have invited the family for half dozen events including dinner at our house and there is never any reciprocity. I'm not interested in inviting these parents or continuing to try to have a friendship. We are all congenial with one another and I like the family. But I don't want to host the family anymore.

Can we just invite the kid from this family for a party and invite our other friends who do not have kids to the same party? Is that OK or are we stuck inviting people over who never reciprocate and are not even our friends? I'm not sure why they always say yes to any invitation I have proposed in the past. (They get together with other family and friends, just never include us.)

[Anonymous]

Can you kid have a sleepover, and just mention to the other parents that a friend of yours will be coming for dinner, so you thought it would be nice if your kid could have a companion?

[Anonymous]

How old is your kid?

[Anonymous]

Oh my god, of course.

By 9 nobody brings their parents on a playdate invite.

[Anonymous]

If it doesn't kill you, it'll make you stronger.

[Anonymous]

Is there a reason why they do not reciprocate? We have a tiny crappy house always under remodel. We also have other issues going on that make hosting hard. We usually just invite to go out to dinner.

Have your party but don't include their kid. Its strange to have adults and then just their child. If they don't invite you, its ok not to invite them.

[Anonymous]

Totally. My parents would do this when I was a kid. They'd have a party, and I could invite a friend or two. I think I'd only find this weird if the people who invited my son also invited other mutual grown up friends, but not me and DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can we just invite the kid from this family for a party and invite our other friends who do not have kids to the same party?

Option 1 - send your kid somewhere else for the night.
Option 2 - have your friends over and tell your kid to plan to occupy himself in his room for the evening.

Maybe I don't get it, but why does your kid have to have a friend (without parents) invited to your grownup party?

[Anonymous]

Yes, totally fine!

BUT...I would let their parents know that other grown-ups will be there and then let them make the choice.

If you weren't inviting your adult friends, then it's a no-brainer, of course invite them. they would be glad to send their kids and probably glad not to come along..... But because other adults they don't know will be there they may decline, or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can we just invite the kid from this family for a party and invite our other friends who do not have kids to the same party?

Option 1 - send your kid somewhere else for the night.
Option 2 - have your friends over and tell your kid to plan to occupy himself in his room for the evening.

Maybe I don't get it, but why does your kid have to have a friend (without parents) invited to your grownup party?

and what, pray tell, is wrong with her kid having his own friend over?

[Anonymous]

Yes, yes and yes. OP, the uninvited parents will love you for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there a reason why they do not reciprocate? We have a tiny crappy house always under remodel. We also have other issues going on that make hosting hard. We usually just invite to go out to dinner.

Have your party but don't include their kid. Its strange to have adults and then just their child. If they don't invite you, its ok not to invite them.

OP here, my kid is an only child. His friend's house is bigger and nicer than ours. The father in that family likes our family, but mom controls invitations etc. I don't know why they never reciprocate, and I'm tired of trying to be friends with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there a reason why they do not reciprocate? We have a tiny crappy house always under remodel. We also have other issues going on that make hosting hard. We usually just invite to go out to dinner.

Have your party but don't include their kid. Its strange to have adults and then just their child. If they don't invite you, its ok not to invite them.

OP here, my kid is an only child. His friend's house is bigger and nicer than ours. The father in that family likes our family, but mom controls invitations etc. I don't know why they never reciprocate, and I'm tired of trying to be friends with them.

Just stop then. Just invite the kid. No big deal. It wouldn't even occur to me to wonder if this was okay or not.

[Anonymous]

Kind of weird. Why can't you have it be 2 separate events?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, totally fine!

BUT...I would let their parents know that other grown-ups will be there and then let them make the choice.

If you weren't inviting your adult friends, then it's a no-brainer, of course invite them. they would be glad to send their kids and probably glad not to come along..... But because other adults they don't know will be there they may decline, or not.

This. The other adults adds an additional factor that might influence their decision.