Unhappy with my child's school but it's too late to break the contract

[Anonymous]

My husband and I have had mixed feelings towards our child's school over the past year, in part because of her horrible teacher who ignores her and a poor response from the director of the school during the several times that we have gone in to speak with her about our concerns.

After awhile, we just stopped speaking to the director and just decided to spend the money that we were going to donate to the annual fund on hiring a daily tutor who works with her on different skills so she wouldn't fall behind. During our parent-teacher conference, you can tell that the teacher just doesn't give a shit and she knows absolutely nothing about our child. For example, the teacher tells us oh she knows all of these sight words and is doing so well. Except for the fact that this is the farthest thing from the truth and it's just that the teacher is too lazy to be bothered with teaching.

Meanwhile, my daughter comes home every day crying that the teacher never calls on her and never answers any of her questions and that it is upsetting to her that her teacher isn't willing to help her.

The current director is leaving at the end of the school year and the new director is supposed to be fantastic. Would it be appropriate for us to express our concerns with the new head of school next year and see if anything changes or should we just take a hit and pull her out of the school for the 2016/17 year and send her to our local public school?

[Anonymous]

Do you know what the teachers are like for next year? Have you talked to other parents in your DD's class?

[Anonymous]

Public, a new director is going to take a few years to get settled and make any major changes. If the teacher is crappy, not much the new director can do for a while. We are moving to public as are several other families because of many changes this year that are not positive.

[Anonymous]

Won't your kid have a new teacher come fall? Isn't this issue days from resolving itself by virtue of the school year ending?

[Anonymous]

How large is the class? Unacceptable even if class is on the larger side. I would not let this go even if you leave the school. Write a letter to the board and give specifics.

[Anonymous]

Is your local public good? I'd send my kid there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How large is the class? Unacceptable even if class is on the larger side. I would not let this go even if you leave the school. Write a letter to the board and give specifics.

Don't write a letter to the Board! The Board of Directors for most independent schools is there for strategic planning, not the day-to-day operations of the school. They have hired professionals to handle these operations because most Boards are made up of parents, alumni and members of the community. They are usually noteducational professionals and it would not be appropriate for them to intervene. You will only be frustrated when the Board won't give you the answer you want.

In going forward I would let this year go. Work with your child over the summer to keep her skills in tact (which we should all be doing - sometimes easier said then done, though...). At the beginning of next year contact the new teacher early in the year for a meeting. Do not criticize the former teacher because you will only sound like a PIA and, even if the new teacher is wonderful, she will be weary of you and your child. Pitting colleagues against each other and putting them on the defensive is never a good place to start (and this applies in all professional situations, not just a school). Explain your concerns about your child's learning and make a plan for the year. Give the new teacher some time to get to know your child and see how it goes. Make plans for follow-up meetings, if necessary. Also, listen to the teacher when she says things about your child and let her know if what you see is different than what she is explaining. If they differ try to figure it out together. This will help you to determine if the teacher is ignoring your child or if your child performs well at school and doesn't tend to show you at home or vice versa. Then make appropriate adjustments.

It also sounds like the Director had checked out since she probably knew she was leaving so there wasn't much she was going to do - very frustrating, I agree. However, I would give the new teacher a chance and if you still don't get the results you are wanting then approach the new Director. The PP is correct that the new Director may not see the issues with teacher during the beginning, but if given a situation that needs attention the Director should respond. If all of this fails then make a decision of whether to keep your child in the school. This can all be achieved in plenty of time for applications to go out to other privates (if you're interested) and also to switch to your local public.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Going forward, the bad teacher isn't really relevant since your child won't have them anymore.

The inaction by the school remains relevant but you indicate there will be a change there as well, so you don't yet have enough information to work from on that score.

Whether your child needs additional tutoring due to the bad year is a separate issue; make your best diagnosis on that and provide accordingly. Sounds like you also may need to figure out what needs to be done for your child's state of mind also, if she has come home crying from school throughout the past year. What would make her feel best about school going forward?

I agree with PP you aren't limited to just sticking it out or going public; you can still transfer to another private, even after the new school year begins.

Unfortunately summer is not going to be a good time for gathering data to inform the decisions you need to make. You need to either draw on the data you have from last year, or you'll have to wait for enough data to make sound decisions from in the new year.

[Anonymous]

Why would you put up with this for a year? I don't understand, especially if youre paying for it.
Im my kid came home crying every day and I thought the teacher really sucked to the point of needing a tutor I would be out of there....Let them sue me.

[Anonymous]

I would not wait all summer. There are few privates that may still have openings. Would you mind stating which school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not wait all summer. There are few privates that may still have openings. Would you mind stating which school?

I have a feeling this may be my child's new school based on the information given. Could you please let me know the school?

[Anonymous]

So based on the description of the changing of the head of the school, I too suspect I know which school you are talking about. If I am right, I find your description of your cihild's situation unusual. My child attended this school (again if I am right that it is a small school that does not go through high school) and it is know for having warm caring teachers. I also know that contracts for this school for the next year are due in Feb (similar to everyone else) and you can walk away just losing your deposit if you notify before June 1st. Why did you decide on the 3rd of June it don't want to come back? What have you heard about the teachers in the next year's class? Finally, was the parent-teacher conference you are complaining about the first one at the beginning of the year or the last one at the end of year? If it was the first one, why didn't you point out to the teacher that you child actually doesn't know the sight words? If it was the end of the year, is the teacher saying what she said because your child does know the sight words? Even though you know that your child is not fall behind due to tutoring - does the teacher know this? I know the school made clear to the parents that they wanted the kids to do the work themselves so the teachers would get a true sense of how the kids are doing. I am not trying to challenge you, I am just asking these questions to get a better idea of what happened to your child during the year.

[Anonymous]

I also know what school you are talking about. There are only two grades that have callous teachers, one is a young grade and one is an exit grade. It sounds like either 1. You are the kind of parent who always thinks their child is right and the teacher is crappy of they dare to point something out as wrong with your child or 2. You did not follow up with the director in a timely manner, because she would have addressed it immediately. She was excellent. What difference does it make to complain about a teacher to the new head? Is that how you want to present yourself at the start of the school year? I would think carefully.

You could also try practicing sight words.