Biting at Daycare

[Anonymous]

My DS who is 14 months old has been bitten 4 x in the last 3 weeks and twice by the same toddler. Although the daycare calls us when it happens and provides an incident report, they do not go into details on what is being done with the toddler or what the rules are for dealing with chronic biters. Has anyone encoutered this and what should we expect from the daycare?

[Anonymous]

I've got a repeated biter, unfortunately. They've been really good working with me to help stop it. He doesn't do it at home, so whatever the trigger is, is at day care. Usually it's because one child takes a toy or something like that, so the day care should make sure there are multiples of the same toy. They also have to keep a close eye on the biter and understand his triggers. Is it because of a toy taken away? Is it more social and his way of saying hello? (apparently that's the hardest to stop). My day care had the director sit in the class for several hours to observe the class, teachers, my son, and others to look for triggers, frustration, other problems. Mine's a little older than yours, but one thing they suggested was to keep little hands busy with tactile stuff like playdough. They also assigned another teacher to watch my child for a week. Lowering the staff to child ratio really helped. We're working on some things at home, too, like using "no biting" books and learning to share.

I wish you the best. It's an awful situation for your child, you, and (trust me) the parents of the biter. It really sucks. It *is* normal behavior at this age, but it doesn't excuse allowing other children to get hurt.

[Anonymous]

There's a biter in our toddler room at daycare -- DS was bitten on the face, hard enough to leave clear teeth marks a day or so later. I knew he was not the first to get bitten, and immediately sent an e-mail to the daycare director to ask the very same questions you're asking, OP. The biting policy varies from daycare to daycare. In our toddler room, they are watching the biter closely to try to determine the trigger/s as a PP suggested, and hopefully stop some of the biting before it starts.

[Anonymous]

We also have a biter in my son's toddler room at daycare. Unfortunately, my DS has been bitten three times in the past month (by two different children). It's a normal toddler behavior, but it is upsetting. The teachers do the best they can without constant hovering over chronic biters. It's a phase that toddlers go through. I just hope that my DS does not become the biter, though I am tired of him being the bitee. I have discussed with the teachers and administrators just to make sure that it's on their radar.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for all of your responses. This really helps me ask the right questions to the daycare director. My DS was also bit on the face right below the eye --the skin wasn't broken but the bruise is still visible 3 weeks after the bite. The entire situation has been really upsetting.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry to hear that your child was bit on the face, with a still-visible bruise. My DS has been bitten on both forearms. It is very upsetting. I think it is wise to bring up your concerns with the Director. Perhaps they'll try to be more vigilant in preventing future incidences.

[Anonymous]

When does this toddler phase of biting end??

[Anonymous]

Good question - I think that it ends at about 2 or shortly thereafter. DS started out being the biter, but now is the bitee. He's been bitten at least once a week for the past month - several times hard enough to leave bruises - not on the face, however.

[Anonymous]

Are you guys kidding? Either the chronic biter gets removed, or my child does. Take your child to his doctor is you have any doubts.

[Anonymous]

I agree - I'd have a serious conversation with the director. This may be normal behavior, but if it happens all the time, something isn't right. Why should your child suffer? I would hope that any daycare would have rules that would prohibit a chronic biter from coming in. I know it sucks for the biter's parents, but what about all the other kids?

[Anonymous]

This may be normal behavior, but if it happens all the time, something isn't right.

Not necessarily. Children at this age do bite, and it's not always the same child who is biting my child. My child is not "suffering" any more than he would be suffering from getting knocked down or having a toy grabbed from him. The child's behavior is the responsibility of the adults who are in charge. A chronic biter needs close supervision, not to be kicked out of daycare. We're talking about toddlers here, not about three or four year olds.

[Anonymous]

ugh the class my toddler was in had a couple biters and then they moved into the next class and NOW a new biter has come into the class. i know it is a normal part of development and i believe the daycare is doing the best they can but it still sucks when your kid is getting bitten!

[Anonymous]

Biting is to be expected from children who have serious anger problems, many of whom are IN daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Biting is to be expected from children who have serious anger problems, many of whom are IN daycare.

I doubt many toddlers have "serious" anger problems. Biting usually occurs because they don't have the verbal skills yet to express most emotions, from anger, to frustration, to merely just wanting to be left alone.

[Anonymous]

PP it is very normal for kids to bite when they are toddlers - they are just trying to express themselves with limited speech and other capabilities. it does not mean they are angry children!!!