Have you successfully cut way back on TV?

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure how the TV watching got so out of hand, but now my five-year-old wants to watch it every morning first thing when he wakes up and then first thing when he gets home from school. If we're making dinner or need to take a call or do anything that requires us to take our attention away from him, he thinks the TV should be on. All of his bad behavior is related to not wanting to turn the TV off when it's time or whining and crying to turn the TV on in the first place. I wish we had never introduced TV in the first place, but we did and now I want to cut way back and there's going to be a mutiny.

Before you scold me, I know I'm the parent and what I say goes. I know that I should have set better boundaries around TV in the beginning, but I didn't. We are where we are and now I'd like to restore some balance with a minimum of family upheaval. So has anybody done this? Would it be better to go cold turkey, at least for awhile, or try cutting back gradually? Any other suggestions?

[Anonymous]

Oh no, we've lost the remote! Or, oh no, the TV broke!

It's summer now. Tell him to go outside and play, while you're making dinner. Can you see outside from the kitchen?

[Anonymous]

Cold turkey. You should also set the example and put down your phone.

I started with our kids today. One show in am if ready to go. Two shows at night.

[Anonymous]

During the school year we have a no screen rule M-Th. On weekends pretty much anything goes, but my kids do sports and don't have much time plus they like to play. Probably 2hrs each day.

For us, having a no screen on school nights is pretty cut and dry. They don't ask.

[Anonymous]

where is your tv? If it is on the main level, are you willing to move it to the basement? I think a big part of successfully cutting back on TV is having the TV be less centrally located.

[Anonymous]

Yes! We used to do TV every morning, and then we shifted it to TV only on the weekends. We just flat out told Deedee that it was too much TV and it wasn't good for her brain. Once DD became a reader, she spent a lot more weekend mornings reading instead of watching TV. We also bundle her TV time into full-length movies instead of more frequent, shorter bouts of television. PP is right that some kind of cold turkey approach is what you need. You can also set up a system of earning TV time through good behavior, and then let your child cash in that time on the weekend.

[Anonymous]

*DD, not Deedee. Clearly my phone doesn't read DCUM!

[Anonymous]

I quit watching tv when my kids got more and more homework.
Between activities, dinner and school work, Some week nights we didn't even turn the tv on.

[Anonymous]

Don't worry. It's never too late to change the habits.

But you need to have clear rules. And then you need to stick to them. Even when it's grossly inconvenient to you and DH.

On that note, we all know that TV is sometimes the best "babysitter" when you need to take a call or hop in the shower or have an adult conversation. But if you spontaneously offer TV because it's helpful to you, you're setting yourself up for disaster.

Kids that age REALLY need clear rules and boundaries so they can adjust their expectations accordingly. "We only watch TV sometimes" is about the worst thing you can tell them. They will always want to know (or try to convince you) that NOW is the time for it.

So . . .

I would scale back slowly but with very clear rules.

(1) DH and I decided on a new rule for TV. You can watch one show in the morning when you wake up. But no TV when you get home from school. That's the rule.

(2) If you whine and cry about TV, you lose your show for the next day. [This includes whining to watch TV when it's not the scheduled TV time, and also includes throwing a fit when it's time to turn the TV off. Specific and direct consequence for whining and crying about TV -- no TV the next day.]

(3) Get a timer that he can see and use. If there are other times you decide to let him watch TV (weekends, random times etc.), ALWAYS set the timer. Tell him that when the timer goes off, the TV goes off, too. AND . . . if he whines and cries about it, he loses his TV time the next morning.

This is the timer we like best. We use it for A LOT of things, including helping them be patient while they wait for us to finish something else:

http://www.difflearn.com/product/Time_Timer_PLUS/timers_counters_clocks

(This version seems way more pricey than ours. But the fact that it counts backwards visually is KEY. The kids can easily see how much time they have left so they're not surprised when it beeps and the TV goes off.)

The most important thing here is that you set a SPECIFIC limit on each instance of TV watching, every time BEFORE the TV goes on. Not "You can watch a little TV while I XYZ." And not "Ok, it's time to turn it off now" without having told him up front how much he can and can not watch.

And the second thing is that you stick to what you say, every single time. No changing your mind when he asks nicely for "Just one more show." Or when you realize you need more time to finish something. He needs to learn that when you set a TV limit, you stick to it. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

And finally, here's the phrase that truly works in our house: "When you whine about X, you lose X." Or "When you throw a fit about Y, we take away Y." EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

No TV on Mon-Thurs at all. Friday night we have a standing family movie night, and Sat/Sun mornings they have 1-2 hours of iPad time. Having a consistent set schedule has cut way back on the whining/pleading for TV. I've also found that movies don't leave my kids wanting more the same way TV episodes do, we all know the temptation of the binge watch.

[Anonymous]

We pulled the plug on cable completely. Rarely miss it -- usually a sporting event.

[Anonymous]

Cold turkey. Tell him the TV is broken, if you have to (and then don't let him catch you watching it).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:where is your tv? If it is on the main level, are you willing to move it to the basement? I think a big part of successfully cutting back on TV is having the TV be less centrally located.

We did this when we moved last year. Moving made it an easier transition, but our only tv is located in our basement. Out of sight... out of mind. It has probably helped my husband and I more than our kids, they still request tv plenty, but it definitely made a huge difference in the amount of requests.

Our kids don't have their own devices, but I used to keep the PBS kids app on my Iphone and Ipad. We would let them use that sometimes. I simply deleted the apps and games. We just don't have them.

Finally, we also do the no tv on school days but "unlimited" on weekends. Unlimited does not mean a 24 binge fest. It simply means we don't bean count. If they want a movie... fine. A couple shows... fine. We usually do not have a lot of time to watch a bunch, but if one day happens to be a rainy day and we watch more than we "should" we don't make a big deal of it.

To us, its like junk food. It is a treat. We want the kids to learn to respect that treats should be enjoyed, occasionally indulged in, but not expected on a daily basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:During the school year we have a no screen rule M-Th. On weekends pretty much anything goes, but my kids do sports and don't have much time plus they like to play. Probably 2hrs each day.

For us, having a no screen on school nights is pretty cut and dry. They don't ask.

Exactly this for us. No TV M-Friday morning. Friday evening-Sunday we are casual about it, but do let them indulge on weekend a.m. cartoons.

[Anonymous]

Yes. My first two kids had no restrictions when they were young because I didn't know any better. Around middle school I cut out tv, and the two younger kids have had practically none since birth.