Month 5 TTC - feeling frustrated.
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Anonymous
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This is more of a venting session more than anything, but here I am starting my 5th cycle ttc, and feeling a bit hopeless. I just don't know how to be optimistic yet again. (I know there are people that have been trying for MUCH longer than I have, and not trying to diminish their frustrations/sadness at all.)
I honestly just don't know how to be excited to try again this month. We're doing everything right. Temping, tracking cm, doing the deed more often than we did when we started dating. I ovulate, my cycle is regular. Should I stop temping to take the pressure off? Should I continue with everything we're doing and just deal with the fact that I'm not feeling hopeful? I'm so glad it's summer and I'll have a few distractions to help the time go by quickly. I am sick of thinking this is the cycle, planning out how I am going to tell DH, and then being disappointed. Again. |
Anonymous
| I'm sorry OP. I did find it helpful to stop temping, checking mucus, etc. I could do this because after a few cycles I realized I ovulate around day 12, so the tracking wasn't providing anything much. |
Las08e
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I'm in a similar as you OP, but about a month behind. We got pregnant without really trying to last fall, and were so excited, but the baby was diagnosed with D/S and we were told it wouldn't survive to term around month 5.
Fast forward 6 months and we got the ok to try again, but honestly, we worried about it so much it became stressful for both of us. My husband felt on specific days he HAD to go through 100% and I felt horribly guilty if I was too tired to try, or not feeling well, etc. It became essentially one huge, guilt-ridden, anxiety show. So for now we have stopped trying to follow calendars and temps, and are doing things more... recreationally. That way we don't feel the pressure of, TODAY'S THE DAY, and I don't find myself sobbing on the bathroom floor when I start bleeding for the month. Plus, he's my husband and this should be fun, right? It's been a few months and we haven't conceived yet, likely due to a busy schedule, but things are slowing down now and I am optimistic. Hang in there! It will be alright one way or another. Honestly, thinking any other way could probably drive you crazy. But I feel your frustration and that's the best that I've got  . My fingers are crossed for you.
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Anonymous
| Try using OPKs rather than temping. It worked for me one the first try for my last 3 kids. |
Anonymous
| I tried using opks for 9 months, tried to have sex on days I was fertile the 4 months before that and had used rhythm method (i.e. High chance of failure) for many prior months. Just got a positive (still waiting for bloodwork) and the only changes this month were Inhad an HSG and I have now done a month and a half of acupuncture. I don't know if either of those things helped, or if it was just my month. And it's obviously too early to know if it will pan out. |
Anonymous
That's wonderful! Congrats and hope it sticks.
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Anonymous
| FWIW, both of my kids were conceived in month six. I know it's frustrating, and it feels like everyone gets pregnant on the first try. But that is not the case. I know it's hard to do, but unless you are AMA, just give it time. |
Anonymous
| Mine was conceived in month six as well. Seems like everyone either gets pregnant right away or after a year. Lots of us are in the six month plus camp! FWIW, I suspect DH had some wimpy swimmers or I had some hostile mucus, b/c the month we conceived was the first month we tried using the instead cups and preseed. We're going to try those from the start the next time around. |
Anonymous
| Took us 12 months and a HSG and we were 26 years old. Month 5 is when it started sucking. We are trying for number two starting this month and I'm not looking forward to it. It's hard not to obsess though! |
Anonymous
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Oh how I remember month 5. We were still carefree back then and enjoying trying! Now I'm approaching 2 years and it mostly sucks. Not to be too much of a downer...
I guess I'd say, depending on your age, give it a couple more months before getting nervous. No harm in trying preseed though! And acupuncture if you want to try that. (Although neither has worked for me obviously...YET) |
Anonymous
| 6/13 poster who got pregnant after about 13 months of trying. Numbers are looking good and an appointment scheduled for prenatal in a month! Frankly was NOT expecting a natural pregnancy (i.e. Still in shock). We'll see if it sticks, but wanted to update. Good luck. Also, if you are nervous there's no harm in starting (a) some of the bloodwork of your doctor will order it and (b) trying something calming like acupuncture. |
Anonymous
CONGRATS! Very exciting news I am so happy for you! OP here, I'm back in the tww and tried pre-seed this month. Fingers crossed I have the same outcome, but will stay positive either way. Next month my OB will allow me to start testing, so we'll try that and maybe consider acupuncture too. Thanks for all of the replies. It's nice to know there is a community out there that is all going through the same struggle. I hope everyone gets their BFP!
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Anonymous
| OP, don't think about how you will tell the husband, don't think this is the month. You're overhyping yourself every month and making it worse in terms of the disappointment. Do OPKs, forget temping and keep at it until you succeed. It may take a few more months. |
Anonymous
| I'm the pregnant 6/13 poster (that still feels really strange to say) now at 6 weeks. I don't think I wrote I used clomid for two months and then decided to go off it while I explored options (IVF or IuI). My Ob was a big proponent of acupuncture but didn't want me using it and meds at the same time. Also, we upped the amount of sex (every day for 5 days!) this month. So again, I have no idea what worked but something did. I found out the same day as our first IVF consult. |