Newly Pregnant and Miss My Ex Huband
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Anonymous
I found out I'm pregnant after years of trying with my husband. I burst into tears because I felt so sad my ex-husband and I were no longer together. We divorced over 7 years ago, and didn't have kids. I have a happy marriage with my DH, and am joyful we're having a baby. I can't believe my reaction. My husband thought they were happy tears (which they were) but didn't know they were also mixed with deep regret and sadness over my first marriage ending.  This is just crazy preggo hormones right?
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Anonymous
| Before I even got to your last sentence I was going to say hormones. I wouldn't worry about it. Head on over to the Expectant Moms forum where you'll other stories of crazy dreams and thoughts. And congratulations!! |
Anonymous
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Yes, preggo hormones.
Also, most women dream of marrying their true love and having kids. I am sure, you grieved for the fact that your first marriage did not turn out to be like that. Not grieving for the man, but the idea of the perfect life - of marriage, kids etc. Don't fear, it is very normal. People usually grieve for a lot of things when they are pregnant, including family members who have passed away and would not get to meet the baby, etc. |
Anonymous
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OP, it is possible that the thoughts will recur later. Keep them to yourself. I have had similar thoughts about an ex. The thing is that these bonds will always be there, you are human with good human emotions. Just don't rain on your husband's joyful moments. And later, don't confuse your kids by sharing these stories unless they are much older and you are an old lady and have some good reason to tell.
Good luck, enjoy the baby. |
Anonymous
| those my dear are you true feelings. I'm wondering why you left your first husband? |
Anonymous
Wow--and you can ready OP's mind how exactly? |
Anonymous
| OP, your first husband was part of your life and dreams so perfectly normal to have a what if, even if you are happy now. Hopefully your ex is doing well and once in a while has a good thought about you! |
Anonymous
| Congrats OP! Welcome to pregnancy. |
Anonymous
| Normal op (when adding in hormones). My sister recently went through this. Her first husband cheated on her pretty early on and she divorced him. This was about 6 years ago. Shortly after she met her current husband and she is now 5 months along. Her husband is amazing and I've never seen her so happy. However, she has told me she's been sad at times because this should have happened years ago when she was with her first husband. She can't really explain why she's sad and just chalks it up to hormones. |
Anonymous
| Hormones. I still remember crying, in deep despair over receiving the wrong color curtains for the baby room. LOL, how embarrassing. |
Anonymous
are you the angry DCUM mantroll? |
Anonymous
Wow -- and the other people on the thread know the level and impact of OP's hormones how exactly? |
Anonymous
A really high end crystal ball. |
Anonymous
NP. We don't. We are giving a more plausible cause than your though. |
Anonymous
| Carrying a baby brings out a lot of emotion. If you tried for 7 years with XH, it was obviously emotionally taxing and a difficult individual process too. To now experience a pregnancy with your DH and a shared dream, it is almost like reopening an old wound. A vision for a child was very much a thread in your previous marriage that you had to mourn. Even though you have moved on, you feel a reminder of something you tried so hard for with a person and vision of life together that you had to grieve. Don't feel bad about it. But celebrate all the good things coming your way now. I think this is a normal healthy response. |