Is there such thing as an infertility and miscarriage life coach?

[Anonymous]

I need additional support. I see a therapist who does not specialize in infertility. She's great, and I don't want to work with another therspist. But I wish I had additional support from someone who has been through all this. Not a support group either because honestly right now I don't want to give and recieve support -- I don't have much to give at the moment. That's what brought me to the idea of a life coach who specializes in infertility and miscarriage. Do those exist? I am in the DC area.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am sorry for your grief and struggles.

Frankly, I would think that the only people qualified to do the practice work you are suggesting are actually licensed psychotherapists, and thus would be working under that title . I would be leery of seeing anyone who only had the minimal training required to be a "life coach" tackle an issue as serious as this one.

[Anonymous]

Thanks, PP. I don't think what I need requires much training. I need someone who has been through this before and has survived it and who is willing to offer support and encouragement. Like a sponsor in AA (or like what I think a sponsor in AA is). (Or think doula as opposed to midwife or OB.) Not a friend but not a therapist either. I suspect what I'm looking for isn't a thing, but it would be great if it were.

[Anonymous]

I have found great support from working once or twice a week with fertility-specializing acupuncturists. Best of luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, PP. I don't think what I need requires much training. I need someone who has been through this before and has survived it and who is willing to offer support and encouragement. Like a sponsor in AA (or like what I think a sponsor in AA is). (Or think doula as opposed to midwife or OB.) Not a friend but not a therapist either. I suspect what I'm looking for isn't a thing, but it would be great if it were.

Just curious: Why wouldn't a friend who has been through what you have -- or, say, a friend of a friend, maybe someone you know introduces you to some -- work for this?

[Anonymous]

You might try looking for a full spectrum doula. This is someone with a special interest in pregnancies that end in stillbirth and miscarriage. Normally they are there to see you through the miscarriage itself, but they might also be a good resource for talking about your experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have found great support from working once or twice a week with fertility-specializing acupuncturists. Best of luck to you.

Yes, my acupuncturist was also my support and it was wonderful!

[Anonymous]

My wife works with a wonderful acupuncturist who also provides a more holistic, therapeutic experience. Not to assume anything, OP, but can your partner/spouse help to some degree? We have tried to find ways to connect and get through this together (I do fertility Accupressure for her for example) but it's tough to only lean in a significant other.

[Anonymous]

So I was on Fertility Friend and made some amazing connections some of whom are now real life friends. I met women who had the exact same diagnosis and who had success and women who were just starting their journies. When I go back from my next Cycle, I will re-join the group!

[Anonymous]

One of the problem with support groups, especially if you are a tough case, is that the other women often end up getting pregnant and it can be hard to be the only one "left".

[Anonymous]

Maybe something like this would be helpful? http://heal-from-within.com/fertility-workshop/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe something like this would be helpful? http://heal-from-within.com/fertility-workshop/

+1 Lisa is wonderful. I went to her for fertility acupuncture and it often felt like a therapy session!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of the problem with support groups, especially if you are a tough case, is that the other women often end up getting pregnant and it can be hard to be the only one "left".

This. I'm OP. Even more than being left behind, it feels so isolating to be the toughest case in the room, always. A previous poster asked about friends or friends of friends with similar experiences. I don't know anyone with a similar experience. That's the problem.

I actually saw Lisa for a couple of acupuncture sessions and considered going to her group. I told her, though, that I was feeling very sensitive about having more failures under my belt than most and didn't really want to enter another group where people were on their first IVF cycle. She said there's always a range but that, yes, a lot of people who come to the group are just starting IF treatments or maybe haven't started yet and are seeking her help before they resort to ART. I think that would make me feel worse.

I am not, by the way, suggesting that others don't have a hard road. I know many people have been at this much longer than I have and have far more losses than me. And I know it's all subjective anyway. But I am suggesting that even other people with IF often don't "get" what it feels like to be so close to being out of options. I don't know if that's making sense.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am so sorry you are in this place. I understand what you are saying. I was a complicated medical situation and a few years ago had a similar feeling that groups would just make me feel worse. What ended up really helping me was two things: (1) seeing a therapist with a background - personally and in her practice - with infertility and loss and (2) I went to one group meeting and ended up meeting someone else who had also been at the IF struggle for a while. We both bailed on the group and just get coffee once in a while and traded emails. So that doesn't directly answer your question about a coach, but two things to think about. Wishing you the best.

[Anonymous]

Thanks PP. Do you recommend your therapist? If so, I'd love her name.