Parents going through grey divorce - vent

[Anonymous]

My parents who have been married for decades are divorcing, and inevitably when things don't go smoothly I get irate phone calls and terrible comments about one or the other. I end the calls quickly and say I'm not going to get in the middle of things, but I can't wait until it's over!! Divorce sucks even when you're an adult child.

[Anonymous]

Try to give them some wisdom: tell them each not to be angry about it, and to resolve it.

[Anonymous]

If you don't want to be in the middle, don't be.

[Anonymous]

Do they text sometimes with you?

[Anonymous]

Wow its like a role reversal like youre the mommy. Im sorry op your parents are splitting. Hopefully they each find greater happiness like my parents did after divorcing. They are both happily remarried. My mother remarried at 62.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. My parents went through some major difficulties earlier this year and my mom would call/text venting about my dad. I finally had to sit her down and tell her she needed to find a girlfriend to talk to because if anything, her behavior was turning me off to her.

They eventually went into therapy thank goodness.

[Anonymous]

This exact thing happened to me. I take some comfort in hearing it happens to other people. I was in my early 20s when my parents divorced after 25 years of marriage and I couldn't understand why my mom would think it would be okay to do this. I still suffer from the effects of the divorce even though it was finalized years ago. Parents are not doing well aging separately, family events became complicated in ways I wasn't used to. It's hard even if you're not a kid. I recommend the book The Way We Used to Be.

[Anonymous]

Maybe they just want to vent? You don't have to get in the middle of anything to lend a sympathetic ear.

[Anonymous]

I am wondering if neither of them has another safe place to vent? I don't think it should be you, though, that's asking a lot of you.

[Anonymous]

Just say the same sh!t to them that they used to say to you and your siblings growing up when you were childish..."cut the crap- solve it yourselves"...."well hit him back"... "then get away from each other and leave each other alone"... "I WILL use this wooden spoon"...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just say the same sh!t to them that they used to say to you and your siblings growing up when you were childish..."cut the crap- solve it yourselves"...."well hit him back"... "then get away from each other and leave each other alone"... "I WILL use this wooden spoon"...

BEST solution.

Let's add "if you don't stop crying I'll give you something to cry about!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they just want to vent? You don't have to get in the middle of anything to lend a sympathetic ear.

Clearly you haven't been through this. She should not have to listen to her mom's complaints about her dad's failings as a romantic partner. That's just not stuff kids of any age want to hear or should have to. Parent needs to find a therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say the same sh!t to them that they used to say to you and your siblings growing up when you were childish..."cut the crap- solve it yourselves"...."well hit him back"... "then get away from each other and leave each other alone"... "I WILL use this wooden spoon"...

BEST solution.

Let's add "if you don't stop crying I'll give you something to cry about!"

That last one made me lol. ?

[Anonymous]

My parents are going through the same thing and I also can't figure out how to manage not hearing stuff I don't want to hear and venting without cutting them off completely. Pleas to find someone else to vent to have fallen on deaf ears. It just sucks.

[Anonymous]

OP here, it's nice to hear from those who have also gone through it. Doing my best to stay out of it, have things redirected to therapists or parents' siblings!