How long to make picky eater sit at table and eat?

[Anonymous]

My fourth grade child is a picky eater. Always was a picky eater. We make him eat what we eat for dinner. I'm not here to debate this with anyone. My question is, how long do we make him sit at the table to finish his food? The portions are super small... The food is so basic.... But he can take a hour and a half to eat. No tv on, no one around him, no distractions. He just claims he doesn't like the food and takes forever!

[Anonymous]

I would say half an hour. Set a timer. Don't get angry if he doesn't eat "enough" for you during that time.

Out of curiosity--what does he like to eat? What are you serving?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say half an hour. Set a timer. Don't get angry if he doesn't eat "enough" for you during that time.

Out of curiosity--what does he like to eat? What are you serving?

So the food goes in the trash after 30 minutes? He will totally prolong it and barely eat. He loves pizza, fish sticks, nuggets, fries. We served fish, broccoli, and plain rice

[Anonymous]

One half hour. If you want to make sure your child eats something for dinner, give him something he likes, even if it is just bread and butter. My child spent 2 years in the feeding clinic at Children's and one of the things the co-director says is include something your child likes at every meal.

Eat something you hate and see how you like the experience. I did this to myself and at a panini with mayo and mustard (I hate the taste and texture of both of them). I coughed down half a sandwich and it gave me a new perspective on eating stuff you don't like. Imagine if every meal was like that for your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say half an hour. Set a timer. Don't get angry if he doesn't eat "enough" for you during that time.

Out of curiosity--what does he like to eat? What are you serving?

So the food goes in the trash after 30 minutes? He will totally prolong it and barely eat. He loves pizza, fish sticks, nuggets, fries. We served fish, broccoli, and plain rice

Not the trash, just back in the fridge. If he's hungry later he can have that instead of a snack. I also agree with serving something you know he will like. And again, don't get mad or frustrated. Just say "this is how we are going to do it now" and tell him why.

Is he an anxious kid in general?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One half hour. If you want to make sure your child eats something for dinner, give him something he likes, even if it is just bread and butter. My child spent 2 years in the feeding clinic at Children's and one of the things the co-director says is include something your child likes at every meal.

Eat something you hate and see how you like the experience. I did this to myself and at a panini with mayo and mustard (I hate the taste and texture of both of them). I coughed down half a sandwich and it gave me a new perspective on eating stuff you don't like. Imagine if every meal was like that for your child.

OP here. But what if child is not gagging or coughing? I would force him if he did that. He just nibbles taking forever. He loves broccoli with cheese only. Great, we didn't have cheese. He still needs to eat the broccoli. He loves fish sticks. We had baked fish, he is capable of eating that. Rice was bland

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say half an hour. Set a timer. Don't get angry if he doesn't eat "enough" for you during that time.

Out of curiosity--what does he like to eat? What are you serving?

So the food goes in the trash after 30 minutes? He will totally prolong it and barely eat. He loves pizza, fish sticks, nuggets, fries. We served fish, broccoli, and plain rice

Not the trash, just back in the fridge. If he's hungry later he can have that instead of a snack. I also agree with serving something you know he will like. And again, don't get mad or frustrated. Just say "this is how we are going to do it now" and tell him why.

Is he an anxious kid in general?

OP here. Not at all anxious. I'm not fixing food just for him because he likes it. He has that option at breakfast only

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't set the dinner table up battle ground. Meals are supposed to be pleasant.

I agree that you should serve something that you know that your child likes along with the meal. Encourage your child to try the new foods - but no yelling or forcing him to try foods. It is better to be laid back about it.

They eventually start to branch out. Patience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't set the dinner table up battle ground. Meals are supposed to be pleasant.

I agree that you should serve something that you know that your child likes along with the meal. Encourage your child to try the new foods - but no yelling or forcing him to try foods. It is better to be laid back about it.

They eventually start to branch out. Patience.

OP here. I would do this if he was two but he is 9... It's getting ridiculous. It truly is not a battle. No yelling, no crying, etc. he just eats slow if it's not something he loves. He gets fruit after as he loves fruit but not eating the simplest of foods is not an option in our house

[Anonymous]

Give him a choice of 10 minutes, 15, or 20. "Are you a little hungry, medium hungry, or really hungry?"

He can set the timer on the microwave or on your phone or egg timer. That gives him a little ownership.

[Anonymous]

Is he sitting by himself all that time? I would let him get up when he's done or when dinner (for everyone) is don't. But then the kitchen is closed for the night. This is what I do for my picky and my nonpicky eater. I also include something the picky eater will usually eat, like pasta with sauce on the side.

[Anonymous]

I already responded at 8:42 but I wanted to add that making him sit there so long, especially if everyone else left, must be torture for him and probably makes him loathe meal time. try to make it more enjoyable, if possible, even if he's not eating. He won't starve and it's hard to imagine sitting there longer makes him eat more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't set the dinner table up battle ground. Meals are supposed to be pleasant.

I agree that you should serve something that you know that your child likes along with the meal. Encourage your child to try the new foods - but no yelling or forcing him to try foods. It is better to be laid back about it.

They eventually start to branch out. Patience.

OP here. I would do this if he was two but he is 9... It's getting ridiculous. It truly is not a battle. No yelling, no crying, etc. he just eats slow if it's not something he loves. He gets fruit after as he loves fruit but not eating the simplest of foods is not an option in our house

It's your house, your rules. But I personally would not force a 9 year old to sit at the table for some random set amount of time staring at food or trying to gag down food that he doesn't like.

My son is a picky eater but he is an otherwise agreeable and good kid. I have never for a moment thought that he was being "bad" for being picky. He has had some genuine, very real food aversions. But with time, patience and simply a growing teenage boy appetite he has branched out.

Make a platter of roasted chicken and put a couple of small pieces on toothpicks for him to try. If he likes it he can have more. Also, I've found that food cooked on the grill is more appealing. Restaurant buffets also encourage branching out and trying new things.

As someone upthread mentioned. Put a food that you don't like on a plate. Now sit and stare at it for 30 minutes convincing yourself to eat it, maybe force yourself to eat it. Was this a good experience for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. I would do this if he was two but he is 9... It's getting ridiculous. It truly is not a battle. No yelling, no crying, etc. he just eats slow if it's not something he loves. He gets fruit after as he loves fruit but not eating the simplest of foods is not an option in our house

I don't think you should frame it in your mind as 'not eating the simplest foods'. I think you should frame it as 'not eating food he doesn't like but I do' so at least you are on the same page. It's not just a 'simple food' if he dislikes it so much he'd rather sit there for an hour than eat it. And, I agree with you about not making him something special (but also including something he likes as part of the meal).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't set the dinner table up battle ground. Meals are supposed to be pleasant.

I agree that you should serve something that you know that your child likes along with the meal. Encourage your child to try the new foods - but no yelling or forcing him to try foods. It is better to be laid back about it.

They eventually start to branch out. Patience.

OP here. I would do this if he was two but he is 9... It's getting ridiculous. It truly is not a battle. No yelling, no crying, etc. he just eats slow if it's not something he loves. He gets fruit after as he loves fruit but not eating the simplest of foods is not an option in our house

It's your house, your rules. But I personally would not force a 9 year old to sit at the table for some random set amount of time staring at food or trying to gag down food that he doesn't like.

My son is a picky eater but he is an otherwise agreeable and good kid. I have never for a moment thought that he was being "bad" for being picky. He has had some genuine, very real food aversions. But with time, patience and simply a growing teenage boy appetite he has branched out.

Make a platter of roasted chicken and put a couple of small pieces on toothpicks for him to try. If he likes it he can have more. Also, I've found that food cooked on the grill is more appealing. Restaurant buffets also encourage branching out and trying new things.

As someone upthread mentioned. Put a food that you don't like on a plate. Now sit and stare at it for 30 minutes convincing yourself to eat it, maybe force yourself to eat it. Was this a good experience for you?

+1 to all of this.

Like a PP said, meals are for enjoyment and family togetherness. You responded negatively that your child is not a 2 year old, but it doesn't matter if your child is 2 or 9.

It sounds like you are really, really focused on what goes into your child's mouth, but you have not even mentioned: who else is at the table? What are your conversations like? How do you set up the table to make dinner a pleasant experience?