Haves Vs Have Nots, Extra-curriculars, and Volunteering

[Anonymous]

I've seen discussions that relate to this here and in the public school forum(I posted it there as well). Interesting. Even IF there is true diversity at a school, how will we address dynamics such as these?? Is it a lost cause?

http://mobile.nytimes.com/blogs/parenting/2014/01/19/a-balanced-school-needs-a-balance-of-volunteers/?mwrsm=Facebook&referer=http%3A%2F%2Fm.facebook.com

[Anonymous]

I think the issues in this article is are more applicable to public schools. In fact, in my experince at privates schools, these issues don't come into play at all as the system has been designed to avoid them.


First of all, private schools are already aware of the financial situations of most students since the neediest receive Financial Aid as do some even into the middle class. And, private schools tend to ensure that this awareness is woven into the fabric of everyday school life. They have already been addressed by the school administration when it comes to extra curricular activities and extra costs associated with gifts, by providing money for students on FA to participate and by keeping the costs set low school wide (limit of $10-$15 per gift contribution). Also, in the WDC area at least, privates don't have "cheerleading squads" (thank God) and uniforms for sports are part of tuition (lower school) or if charged separately (upper school), included in financial aid packages. And second, I have found that parents at private schools are not always trying to "prove their net-worth" as parents do in public school such as those described in the article (with two clear economic groups: haves and have nots). Private school parents, by choosing and paying for private school, have basically already "proved" they have money or are at least savvy and successful enough to get FA for their kid if they can not afford tuition (by my measure, parents who know about FA, and manage to make it through all the forms and hassle of FA to get an award for their kid, have proven they are both smart and able to succeed). And few folks in private are really that interested or worried about who is and isn't on FA (contrary to some odd folks who post on this forum). Plus, most people in private know its tacky to "show off" one's wealth. I have never, ever heard anyone suggested sushi or spring rolls for a kids' party at any of the very elite, supposedly snooty, private schools my kids have attended in WDC, not even the Chevy crowd. Pizza is almost always the main course.

[Anonymous]

That's a good response. In many ways, the unaffordability of DC private schools has forced them to spend time thinking about these issues.

[Anonymous]

I didn't see either of these issues at our public (Alexandria city btw) or private schools my child now attends.

Spring Rolls? Maybe in Texas those are "exotic" but in Alexandria - meh. And chocolate mousse cake? Really? I have seen plenty of kids not each grocery store frosting but scarf up the cake and vice versa. Some kids just don't like some foods.

In terms of cost for activities, both public and private schools have limited the out of pocket costs we as parents were asked to pay.

I actually think her experience was more just a personal pet peeve then an epidemic.

[Anonymous]

Thank God those of you with experience in the private schools in this area responded. I read that article and literally wanted to puke and began to wonder if I had the fortitude to bite by tongue and not hang out tongue lashings if I was subjected to that foolishness. Whew! Relieved to know it more than likely won't happen.

[Anonymous]

We've done both public and are now in private. Private is much more low key on the extra cash demands. Maybe they've got all this stuff in the budget so it's in your tuition payment. There a lot of kids on FA, so even the uniform vendor is pretty inexpensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the issues in this article is are more applicable to public schools. In fact, in my experince at privates schools, these issues don't come into play at all as the system has been designed to avoid them.


First of all, private schools are already aware of the financial situations of most students since the neediest receive Financial Aid as do some even into the middle class. And, private schools tend to ensure that this awareness is woven into the fabric of everyday school life. They have already been addressed by the school administration when it comes to extra curricular activities and extra costs associated with gifts, by providing money for students on FA to participate and by keeping the costs set low school wide (limit of $10-$15 per gift contribution). Also, in the WDC area at least, privates don't have "cheerleading squads" (thank God) and uniforms for sports are part of tuition (lower school) or if charged separately (upper school), included in financial aid packages. And second, I have found that parents at private schools are not always trying to "prove their net-worth" as parents do in public school such as those described in the article (with two clear economic groups: haves and have nots). Private school parents, by choosing and paying for private school, have basically already "proved" they have money or are at least savvy and successful enough to get FA for their kid if they can not afford tuition (by my measure, parents who know about FA, and manage to make it through all the forms and hassle of FA to get an award for their kid, have proven they are both smart and able to succeed). And few folks in private are really that interested or worried about who is and isn't on FA (contrary to some odd folks who post on this forum). Plus, most people in private know its tacky to "show off" one's wealth. I have never, ever heard anyone suggested sushi or spring rolls for a kids' party at any of the very elite, supposedly snooty, private schools my kids have attended in WDC, not even the Chevy crowd. Pizza is almost always the main course.

+1. This has been our experience and impression exactly. We moved from NW public to private and find the private school environment to be much more sensitive and accepting of varied incomes & lifestyles. There are plenty of super "haves" at our private school and they are a thousand times more discreet and sensitive than the public school parents we knew who put a lot of effort into trying to prove they are "haves" and squeezing out the "have nots".