I need to stay out of the nanny and daycare forums

[Anonymous]

Ugghh. Talk me down from the ledge. I'm going back to work in two months and have no idea what I want to do in terms of daycare options. These crazy threads are making me panic!!!

[Anonymous]

Stay out of the nanny and daycare forums.

[Anonymous]

yeah, me too - going back in 2 months and can't even get daycares to call me back. the ones who have are full. i keep telling myself that something will work out, but what?! it's not like either of us can quit our jobs, no family to help out long term...

[Anonymous]

You'll be fine. WM here.

It helps if:

- you like your job
- your company and your boss has at least an inkling that working parents have a life outside work
- your husband is not worthless or does not work 80+ hours a week

Those things mean you can really find a balance - it's possible. If you don't have all 3 - you can work to change them.

Daycare is serving my child well. She is well taken care of and does fun things, and is loved. We would be bored if it were the two of us. Not every mom feels this way, and that's fine.

But with both extremes and everything in-between you can make it work.

[Anonymous]

Wouldn't it make more sense to first find childcare that you love, and then think about an office job. That's why so many parents settle for questionable/risky childcare situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:yeah, me too - going back in 2 months and can't even get daycares to call me back. the ones who have are full. i keep telling myself that something will work out, but what?! it's not like either of us can quit our jobs, no family to help out long term...

Nanny share? They're much faster to find than a daycare. You could absolutely have one within two months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wouldn't it make more sense to first find childcare that you love, and then think about an office job. That's why so many parents settle for questionable/risky childcare situations.

Do you live in the USA? If so, have you been following the news for the past year? I have an announcement for you that might come as a shock, but our economy is in the shitter right now, and it can take someone as long as a year to find work in this economy. By the time you find childcare you "love" you will loose your place if you "wait" to find an office job. If the OP is going back to work, would you not presume she already has a job in place?

People get involved in risky childcare situations for 3 reasons, neither of which include finding an office job (and what does an office have to do this this anyways? All kinds of poeple work in places other than offices) before daycare is secured:

1. They have no money and can only afford sub-par childcare.
2. They are immature and unfit parents who only want to save a buck and sign up for the cheapest thing possible without regard to safety and standards.
3. They get fooled and tricked into thinking that a daycare is good when in fact it is terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wouldn't it make more sense to first find childcare that you love, and then think about an office job. That's why so many parents settle for questionable/risky childcare situations.

Do you live in the USA? If so, have you been following the news for the past year? I have an announcement for you that might come as a shock, but our economy is in the shitter right now, and it can take someone as long as a year to find work in this economy. By the time you find childcare you "love" you will loose your place if you "wait" to find an office job. If the OP is going back to work, would you not presume she already has a job in place?

People get involved in risky childcare situations for 3 reasons, neither of which include finding an office job (and what does an office have to do this this anyways? All kinds of poeple work in places other than offices) before daycare is secured:

1. They have no money and can only afford sub-par childcare.
2. They are immature and unfit parents who only want to save a buck and sign up for the cheapest thing possible without regard to safety and standards.
3. They get fooled and tricked into thinking that a daycare is good when in fact it is terrible.

Why so nasty and angry?

[Anonymous]

Possibly the result of reading one too many idiotic posts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wouldn't it make more sense to first find childcare that you love, and then think about an office job. That's why so many parents settle for questionable/risky childcare situations.

Do you live in the USA? If so, have you been following the news for the past year? I have an announcement for you that might come as a shock, but our economy is in the shitter right now, and it can take someone as long as a year to find work in this economy. By the time you find childcare you "love" you will loose your place if you "wait" to find an office job. If the OP is going back to work, would you not presume she already has a job in place?

People get involved in risky childcare situations for 3 reasons, neither of which include finding an office job (and what does an office have to do this this anyways? All kinds of poeple work in places other than offices) before daycare is secured:

1. They have no money and can only afford sub-par childcare.
2. They are immature and unfit parents who only want to save a buck and sign up for the cheapest thing possible without regard to safety and standards.
3. They get fooled and tricked into thinking that a daycare is good when in fact it is terrible.

Most parents have always done the process backwards, it did not just start last year.
Which reason was yours? Did you get fooled and tricked, or was it reason 1 or 2?

[Anonymous]

OP, ignore the ridiculous lecture on how deciding to go back to work BEFORE having a secure and perfect childcare situation is somehow bad parenting. It's simple reality, in part because many of us don't know what we need or how we're going to feel about the various options until the kiddo is actually on the scene. Let me just share the single most important lesson I've learned from 5 years of parenthood and 2 kids - ***no childcare situation is perfect.*** I stayed at home for a year and have had experiences with daycare and with nannies, and I'm convinced there's no perfect solution among them. They all have pros and cons, and figuring out what circumstances suit you, your child, your finances, your logistical realities (transportation, etc) takes time and experience. Whatever you do, you'll have moments when you worry you made the wrong choice, or wonder if there is a better arrangement. I for one was always a bit jealous of families with nannies until we went that route, now I pine for our wonderful old daycare - note that I never pine for being a SAHM, although that works great for lots of other women too. You'll figure it out, and as long as you love your child and find a situation that makes both of you (and your spouse) happy, it will all be ok.

[Anonymous]

I've never had a problem with finding good daycare and I've always had my job - why would one want to quit or consider taking another job just to look for childcare first? It just takes planning and good networking. I found a childcare center near my house by doing a google search. I went for a corporate-sponsored center because I believed it would have a little more oversight given the sponsorship. I looked it up on the DSS website for violations, etc., and I visited the place. I liked it. While previously it was difficult to get infants into daycare, it may be easier now because of the economy (people leaving because of layoffs, people choosing to stay at home because it's cheaper, etc.) I really like the center I chose - my kids are thriving, even though they had nannies their first 3 years.

A few years ago, when the economy here was booming, it was next to impossible to find childcare. But most people didn't (and still don't) have the luxury of quitting their jobs to find the perfect childcare situation, so they essentially had to prioritize what they wanted - perhaps they opted for a less-than-clean center if the teachers were were more loving and affectionate than other places, or they went whatever was available at the time in hopes that they would eventually find something else in time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wouldn't it make more sense to first find childcare that you love, and then think about an office job. That's why so many parents settle for questionable/risky childcare situations.

Do you live in the USA? If so, have you been following the news for the past year? I have an announcement for you that might come as a shock, but our economy is in the shitter right now, and it can take someone as long as a year to find work in this economy. By the time you find childcare you "love" you will loose your place if you "wait" to find an office job. If the OP is going back to work, would you not presume she already has a job in place?

People get involved in risky childcare situations for 3 reasons, neither of which include finding an office job (and what does an office have to do this this anyways? All kinds of poeple work in places other than offices) before daycare is secured:

1. They have no money and can only afford sub-par childcare.
2. They are immature and unfit parents who only want to save a buck and sign up for the cheapest thing possible without regard to safety and standards.
3. They get fooled and tricked into thinking that a daycare is good when in fact it is terrible.

Most parents have always done the process backwards, it did not just start last year.
Which reason was yours? Did you get fooled and tricked, or was it reason 1 or 2?

None of the above, I don't work, but unlike YOU don't feel the need to subtly put down working mothers. Get it?

[Anonymous]

You can find great home day care in 2 months or less also.

[Anonymous]

I don't think ANY childcare situation is perfect, but you can find the best situation for your family in 2 months.

I had no idea what I was doing when touring centers in my first trimester, but I wound up securing a spot just to make sure I had SOMETHING. After my daughter arrived, though, I couldn't bear the thought of her in the center we had secured. I spent more than half my maternity leave looking for something else. We interviewed nanny candidates with another family for a possible nanny share, I toured other centers and I contacted and visited in-home day cares.

A couple weeks before returning to work, I chose an in-home daycare situation, but had another center as our back up. I am living proof that you can find something We kept our daughter at the in-home daycare for 2 years, and she is now at the center that was our #2 choice PT.

Good luck to you!