Do you ever feel like you're going nuts?

[Anonymous]

just curious. I feel like I am. Dealing with the financial people at fertility clinics greatly correlates with feeling nuts. But also I feel nutty when DH who never needs to do anything other than jerking off in a plastic cup starts talking about accepting the cards we were dealt. I also feel nutty with everybody reproducing since I've started the treatments a year and a half ago - 3 people at work, 2 SILs, friends, DH's friends' wives. Literally everybody around me all the time. The cumulative amount of money spent on baby shower gifts, first birthday gifts, baptism gifts and crap like that is into 4 digits already. I feel like I am about to go postal, I just don't know yet on whom.

[Anonymous]

Yup, can't remember when I wasn't nuts. My younger sister had a baby last month, right before my latest IVF failure, so I've been waiting to completely lose my mind.

Therapy, support groups, meds...there's stuff that helps but it's never enough.

[Anonymous]

A year & a half into treatments I was still hopeful and happy for those around me. After 5 years of failed treatments, losses and being 100% OOP, I felt bitter, frustrated, depressed, isolated, angry, yet f*cking determined to not give up. Looking back, THAT was a little nutty. I tried to make it look like we led a normal life around others and I (reluctantly) attended showers, 1st birthdays, baptisms, etc...; I wonder how well I really pulled it off?

Like pp, there's stuff that helps (support forums helped me feel normal, since I was surrounded by fertiles in real life), but for me it was never enough either.

I can't help with nutty financial people, but having my DH read "How to Make Love to a Plastic Cup," helped clue my DH in to many things about the infertility process. (My feelings, our treatments, etc...)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A year & a half into treatments I was still hopeful and happy for those around me. After 5 years of failed treatments, losses and being 100% OOP, I felt bitter, frustrated, depressed, isolated, angry, yet f*cking determined to not give up. Looking back, THAT was a little nutty. I tried to make it look like we led a normal life around others and I (reluctantly) attended showers, 1st birthdays, baptisms, etc...; I wonder how well I really pulled it off?

Like pp, there's stuff that helps (support forums helped me feel normal, since I was surrounded by fertiles in real life), but for me it was never enough either.

I can't help with nutty financial people, but having my DH read "How to Make Love to a Plastic Cup," helped clue my DH in to many things about the infertility process. (My feelings, our treatments, etc...)

PP, did you find success (I hope)
Good luck, OP!
As for me, 5 years of infertility led to my precious DD (now 2) through adoption....

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks to fellow nutsos for responding. Hope your Friday is a really nice one today!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A year & a half into treatments I was still hopeful and happy for those around me. After 5 years of failed treatments, losses and being 100% OOP, I felt bitter, frustrated, depressed, isolated, angry, yet f*cking determined to not give up. Looking back, THAT was a little nutty. I tried to make it look like we led a normal life around others and I (reluctantly) attended showers, 1st birthdays, baptisms, etc...; I wonder how well I really pulled it off?

Like pp, there's stuff that helps (support forums helped me feel normal, since I was surrounded by fertiles in real life), but for me it was never enough either.

I can't help with nutty financial people, but having my DH read "How to Make Love to a Plastic Cup," helped clue my DH in to many things about the infertility process. (My feelings, our treatments, etc...)

PP, did you find success (I hope)
Good luck, OP!
As for me, 5 years of infertility led to my precious DD (now 2) through adoption....

I found my success with DE; now 1 yo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:just curious. I feel like I am. Dealing with the financial people at fertility clinics greatly correlates with feeling nuts. But also I feel nutty when DH who never needs to do anything other than jerking off in a plastic cup starts talking about accepting the cards we were dealt. I also feel nutty with everybody reproducing since I've started the treatments a year and a half ago - 3 people at work, 2 SILs, friends, DH's friends' wives. Literally everybody around me all the time. The cumulative amount of money spent on baby shower gifts, first birthday gifts, baptism gifts and crap like that is into 4 digits already. I feel like I am about to go postal, I just don't know yet on whom.

All of the time OP! Took two years and 7 cycles to get my twins. They are 2 and we been TTC again since they were 1 and it is the same road all over again. Already been through 4 cycles. I don't respond well, emotionally, to the BCP phase. I can go from perfectly content to flying off the deep end in seconds. I truly believe it is all of the meds I am on. If I could be honest, it doesn't get any easier. Each cycle leaves me feeling more numb, and thinking that there is something wrong with my body not being able to carry a child to term. At SG, very satisfied with level of care.

Hate when one specific co-worker who "gets pregnant just by having her husband look at her" (according to her...she actually tells people this) goes on her breastfeeding soapbox. I find this so inconsiderate because she doesn't know others' battles with infertility. We are not close enough for me to reveal private things to her, I just wish she could tone it down a notch.

I understand what you are going through, OP. It's okay to have those feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:just curious. I feel like I am. Dealing with the financial people at fertility clinics greatly correlates with feeling nuts. But also I feel nutty when DH who never needs to do anything other than jerking off in a plastic cup starts talking about accepting the cards we were dealt. I also feel nutty with everybody reproducing since I've started the treatments a year and a half ago - 3 people at work, 2 SILs, friends, DH's friends' wives. Literally everybody around me all the time. The cumulative amount of money spent on baby shower gifts, first birthday gifts, baptism gifts and crap like that is into 4 digits already. I feel like I am about to go postal, I just don't know yet on whom.

All of the time OP! Took two years and 7 cycles to get my twins. They are 2 and we been TTC again since they were 1 and it is the same road all over again. Already been through 4 cycles. I don't respond well, emotionally, to the BCP phase. I can go from perfectly content to flying off the deep end in seconds. I truly believe it is all of the meds I am on. If I could be honest, it doesn't get any easier. Each cycle leaves me feeling more numb, and thinking that there is something wrong with my body not being able to carry a child to term. At SG, very satisfied with level of care.

Hate when one specific co-worker who "gets pregnant just by having her husband look at her" (according to her...she actually tells people this) goes on her breastfeeding soapbox. I find this so inconsiderate because she doesn't know others' battles with infertility. We are not close enough for me to reveal private things to her, I just wish she could tone it down a notch.

I understand what you are going through, OP. It's okay to have those feelings.

That's annoying. If she ever says that directly to you -- and no one else is around -- you might want to say nicely "I'm happy for you, but you know, it's not so easy for everyone. I know a lot of people who have really struggled with infertility and other problems. If they were to hear you constantly talking about how easy it is for you, it could be hurtful. Just something to think about."