Are mothers of boys nicer to their MIL's

[Anonymous]

Do you think mom's of boys only are nicer to MIL's because they know someday they will be the odd one out?

[Anonymous]

I have only boys and definitely work hard to keep up a relationship with my mother in law. You reap what you sow. When it's difficult I remind myself that she's their grandmother and I would hope for the same courtesies when I am a grandmother. That said, I imagine I would feel the same way if I had girls. Aren't we all just trying to set a good example for our kids?

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Er no. I think most DIL/MIL relationships start before there are kids in the picture, so the tone is there before you even know if you will have boys or girls.

[Anonymous]

I'm not. I have three boys and an awful relationship with my MIL. I will say, though, that my mom has great relationships with my brothers' wives and there is a real difference there. My mom and dad have three kids and their own lives, they help out with us kids when they can. My MIL lives alone and has one son, with whom she wasn't close, and now that we have kids she on him (and us) like white on rice.

My MIL is the odd one out, but not because she has a son, because she didn't put in the effort when my husband was younger.

[Anonymous]

My MIL and I have had some friction. But having a child has made me like her MORE. She is a wonderful grandmother, even though I think she's a mediocre MIL.

I have a girl.

[Anonymous]

No. My first is a boy and the rest are girls.

[Anonymous]

No. I have two girls and love my MIL! We get along great, in fact, I get along better with her than my own mother.

[Anonymous]

For a long time, we had only 2 daughters and I had a love/hate relationship with my MIL. Then we had our son. It's still a love/hate relationship, but I understand her better now. For some reason, it didn't click until I knew how she must have felt about her own little boy.

[Anonymous]

No, and we have a good though slightly distant relationship. But we dated/were married for like ten years before kids, so it's not like we became different people when my first son was born.

[Anonymous]

After having my DS, I have a new perspective of my MIL. I have a better understanding of how difficult it must be to love your child so much and spend all those years raising him (and DH was truly the focus of her life) only to be on the periphery of his adult life. She doesn't have any daughters, and DH and I tend to spend more time with my family, so I think that contributes to her feeling left out. When I think about my own DS, I certainly want him to be an independent adult but it would also be nice if he stayed close with our family, even if he starts one of his own.

[Anonymous]

Most of your forgot about your parents, let alone in-laws. Your children will do the same thing, boys OR girls. They learn by example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After having my DS, I have a new perspective of my MIL. I have a better understanding of how difficult it must be to love your child so much and spend all those years raising him (and DH was truly the focus of her life) only to be on the periphery of his adult life. She doesn't have any daughters, and DH and I tend to spend more time with my family, so I think that contributes to her feeling left out. When I think about my own DS, I certainly want him to be an independent adult but it would also be nice if he stayed close with our family, even if he starts one of his own.

So spend more time with her...

[Anonymous]

Mine was a step monster so no, I never felt the need to be close with her much less talk to her. Now she's dead,

[Anonymous]

No. But then it's my own mother I have problems with. And my husband's personality doesn't help either. Sometimes I think I should throw them both in a room, close the door, and let them fight it out.