Do you monitor your kids social media/phone?

[Anonymous]

My son just turned 15 and got a phone for his birthday from his uncle. I told him there's a few apps he won't be downloading and I'll be checking up on him to make sure he's using it as responsibly as a 15 yo can use a phone. My sister had a bad experience with her son at 13 having a phone so I'm monitoring at a distance. Once he takes the initiative to keep his grades up and pick up some responsibilities I will let off. Do you check up on your kids? If so how often?

[Anonymous]

I think your plan is a good one. I don't monitor my 16 year old's social media activity, but he's had a phone since he was 12 and he's had his own laptop for 2 years. He's had plenty of time to show he is responsible. I slowly backed off until eventually I stopped checking altogether.

My 11 year old will probably get a phone this summer. I'll monitoring his activity regularly.

[Anonymous]

I have three kids. Answer for me is it depends on the kid and what I find when I look. Kids do dumb things because they don't understand the repercussions of their actions. As a parent I view it as my job to teach them. I don't worry about Apps because they don't have my code and can't download any without my approval. I do check photos and texts. I don't allow certain social media sites. My kids aren't social media fans and they don't email so I have it relatively easy. But the number of texts that go out in a day is unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

I monitor my children's gaming systems, they don't have phones yet. They are 10 and 15 respectively. But the systems have expansive socialization as well as complete internet access. I don't check every day but once a week or so I'll go see what they've been looking up and make sure they're not adding too many people they don't know personally.

[Anonymous]

Eh. Partially. She's very street smart and modest so although I check in I'm not worried. I did freak the other day when her friend sent her a link to the 21 best cocks or something but it was chickens.

[Anonymous]

Here's the thing: it's not just the phone and/or the apps installed on it. If you monitor their phones, kids can always use ANY internet-enabled device to evade your scrutiny. Ipads, ipods--anything that can get them online will work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's the thing: it's not just the phone and/or the apps installed on it. If you monitor their phones, kids can always use ANY internet-enabled device to evade your scrutiny. Ipads, ipods--anything that can get them online will work.

'My son doesn't have those kind of things, the phone would be the first. He does play on the PlayStation but that's in the livingroom adjacent to my bedroom so that isn't a worry.

[Anonymous]

I did not do this with my older DC but I put a monitoring app on my almost-15 DD phone because she neglects her school work and it shows in school reports. I do this mostly to see how much time she spends on her phone when she's supposed to be working on school stuff.

Depending on how it goes, I'll ease up or do more monitoring.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure how I'd handle a 15 year old. I gave my kids phones when they turned 13 in middle school and used that time for heavy teaching and monitoring, and let up on that as they aged. Almost no monitoring of any sort by 15.

I taught the 4 Ps. Don't post, text, photograph, or otherwise make an electronic record of anything you don't want seen by the principal, police, parents, or pedophiles. Once there is an electronic record, you no longer have full co tell of it, and it's out there forever. And we went from there.

[Anonymous]

MY 15 YO DD has done several foolish things with her Iphone- I monitor it and try to limit her use of it. She really doesn't think about what she puts out there until it's too late. She has found other ways to post on social media when I've taken away her devices (including school computers). Social media is the biggest challenge in my parenting experience.

[Anonymous]

We monitor and we try to teach them. It baffles me that parents who won't let their kids go out alone will let them run free on the Internet.

[Anonymous]

Can anyone recommend a monitoring app?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh. Partially. She's very street smart and modest so although I check in I'm not worried. I did freak the other day when her friend sent her a link to the 21 best cocks or something but it was chickens.

What.The.Fuck??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh. Partially. She's very street smart and modest so although I check in I'm not worried. I did freak the other day when her friend sent her a link to the 21 best cocks or something but it was chickens.

That is hilarious. That sounds like something my daughter would do, who is also street smart and modest.

I check my daughter's text messages from time to time. It's usually pretty boring stuff. She usually makes good decisions, and she has seen the fallout from kids circulating naked pictures of other girls in her school. I send her links to articles about kids getting blackmailed with nude pics. I have to have faith in her choices because monitoring apps aren't really that useful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. Partially. She's very street smart and modest so although I check in I'm not worried. I did freak the other day when her friend sent her a link to the 21 best cocks or something but it was chickens.

That is hilarious. That sounds like something my daughter would do, who is also street smart and modest.

I check my daughter's text messages from time to time. It's usually pretty boring stuff. She usually makes good decisions, and she has seen the fallout from kids circulating naked pictures of other girls in her school. I send her links to articles about kids getting blackmailed with nude pics. I have to have faith in her choices because monitoring apps aren't really that useful.

Do you read the ones just on her phone or also the deleted ones from your cell phone carrier? Kids delete the text they don't want parents to see

Do you read her Instagram and also her Finstagram too? Most kids do a good family/college friendly social media accounts and then make up others to air our their dirty laundry

Do you allow Snapchat? You have no idea what goes on in that.

Do you you disable her ability to delete her web searches? If not, you have no idea what she is doing and searching online.

Do you disable her ability to delete apps she uploads - needing a code from you to delete? If not she can delete her apps every night and re-up them each morning.

Do you know about all the apps that make the apps she doesn't want you to see disappear on her phone? If not she can hide any apps she doesn't want you to know your using.