Best private schools in NYC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re in the fortunate position of having admits to both St. Bernard’s and Hunter for our son, but we’re struggling with the decision and would love insights from this community.

We are an upper-middle-class family—private school tuition is something we can afford, but it’s still a meaningful financial commitment. We love St. Bernard’s, but we have some concerns:
1. High School Placement – It seems that while some students go on to TT day schools, many do not. We want to understand how much of that is by choice vs. limited acceptances.
2. Diversity – The classes at St. B’s appear to be predominantly white, and we are not. We’re wondering how this might impact our son’s experience.

On the other hand, we don’t know much about Hunter yet since we haven’t had our tour (scheduled in the next couple of days). Our main concern is socio-emotional development—we’ve heard mixed things about how well Hunter supports this aspect of growth.

Would love to hear from families who have experience with either (or both!) schools. What factors ultimately guided your decision? Anything you wish you had known earlier?

Thanks in advance!

Are you on the Facebook mom groups? You should message Alina Adams. She is a consultant who knows a lot about Hunter. Additionally, her boys, who are POC, attended St Bernard’s, so she would probably really be able to give you the inside scoop.

Is she the best consultant? Or is there someone else who is more value added? We are going through the process next year

Her ebook is $10 on Amazon and serves as a helpful read. Much of the info in these threads may only make sense once you understand the grander timelines and processes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re in the fortunate position of having admits to both St. Bernard’s and Hunter for our son, but we’re struggling with the decision and would love insights from this community.

We are an upper-middle-class family—private school tuition is something we can afford, but it’s still a meaningful financial commitment. We love St. Bernard’s, but we have some concerns:
1. High School Placement – It seems that while some students go on to TT day schools, many do not. We want to understand how much of that is by choice vs. limited acceptances.
2. Diversity – The classes at St. B’s appear to be predominantly white, and we are not. We’re wondering how this might impact our son’s experience.

On the other hand, we don’t know much about Hunter yet since we haven’t had our tour (scheduled in the next couple of days). Our main concern is socio-emotional development—we’ve heard mixed things about how well Hunter supports this aspect of growth.

Would love to hear from families who have experience with either (or both!) schools. What factors ultimately guided your decision? Anything you wish you had known earlier?

Thanks in advance!

Are you on the Facebook mom groups? You should message Alina Adams. She is a consultant who knows a lot about Hunter. Additionally, her boys, who are POC, attended St Bernard’s, so she would probably really be able to give you the inside scoop.

Is she the best consultant? Or is there someone else who is more value added? We are going through the process next year

She's good because she knows public system very well if that is a consideration and knows the private system well (her kids went to private ES/MS and public HS). She's also not that expensive (relatively speaking) if you just need a check-in here and there. But I think if you have the time to do the research yourself, you don't need a consultant.

There is also Parents League for a more general overview.

Evolved Education (Mary Miele) gets thrown around a lot as potential consultant but they are pricey, from what I hear (5 figures). But you will get complete hand holding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Evolved Education (Mary Miele) gets thrown around a lot as potential consultant but they are pricey, from what I hear (5 figures). But you will get complete hand holding.

She also has a free podcast (Be Evolved) that I would recommend.

[Anonymous]

When we visited I felt the Chapin girls were much more relaxed and the teachers were really warm and supportive. The Brearley teachers we saw were younger and very intellectual, the kind you can tell quickly that are very smart if you known what I mean…The girls looked very focused and driven.

[Anonymous]

How about Spence?

[Anonymous]

People always seem to think that Spence is somehow less rigorous and more hierarchical than Chapin and Brearley, but I’m unsure how true that is - I only have personal connections with Spence. But that was the reputation when I was at Trinity: Spence is for the silly (actually a worse motto which i won’t leave here).

Along time ago that may have been true, but all three seem to be as competitive as the other. I would say still Spence does appear to have a student body which cares marginally more than about status and maybe a small fraction less about academic perfection, but again, I don’t have experience with the other two outside of reputation. I did spent tons of time with Spence girls in the 2000’s since my cousins were there when I was across town, and they all wound up at ivies, if that matters to anyone. And the Spence students I spent time with were uniformly lovely, sophisticated, intelligent, ambitious young women.

Also, Spence does seem to have an incredibly tightly knit community: their Spence friends are still their best friends, and I can’t really say that about my Trinity classmates. However, I think that may be the case with the girls schools in general.

[Anonymous]

If this makes a difference to anyone, here’s prep review’s list of top high schools in the world based on acceptances to Ivies, Oxbridge, Stanford/MIT. Seven of the top ten are NYC privates:

https://www.prepreview.com/ranking/world/high-school-ranking.php

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People always seem to think that Spence is somehow less rigorous and more hierarchical than Chapin and Brearley, but I’m unsure how true that is - I only have personal connections with Spence. But that was the reputation when I was at Trinity: Spence is for the silly (actually a worse motto which i won’t leave here).

Along time ago that may have been true, but all three seem to be as competitive as the other. I would say still Spence does appear to have a student body which cares marginally more than about status and maybe a small fraction less about academic perfection, but again, I don’t have experience with the other two outside of reputation. I did spent tons of time with Spence girls in the 2000’s since my cousins were there when I was across town, and they all wound up at ivies, if that matters to anyone. And the Spence students I spent time with were uniformly lovely, sophisticated, intelligent, ambitious young women.

Also, Spence does seem to have an incredibly tightly knit community: their Spence friends are still their best friends, and I can’t really say that about my Trinity classmates. However, I think that may be the case with the girls schools in general.

Really? I've never heard anyone think that - if anything, it's the opposite. Chapin was seen as more of a "finishing" school for WASPS. The old (misogynist) adage goes "Brearley girls become doctors, Spence girls marry doctors, and Chapin girls date doctors."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this makes a difference to anyone, here’s prep review’s list of top high schools in the world based on acceptances to Ivies, Oxbridge, Stanford/MIT. Seven of the top ten are NYC privates:

https://www.prepreview.com/ranking/world/high-school-ranking.php

Someone recently posted on whybemom what the acceptances rate would be from a TT school when excluding for legacy and recruited athletes (page 37).

Harvard-Westlake college counseling handbook

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this makes a difference to anyone, here’s prep review’s list of top high schools in the world based on acceptances to Ivies, Oxbridge, Stanford/MIT. Seven of the top ten are NYC privates:

https://www.prepreview.com/ranking/world/high-school-ranking.php

Someone recently posted on whybemom what the acceptances rate would be from a TT school when excluding for legacy and recruited athletes (page 37).

Harvard-Westlake college counseling handbook

Fascinating. Love the data transparency here (apps vs. accepted, tiered by GPA)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we visited I felt the Chapin girls were much more relaxed and the teachers were really warm and supportive. The Brearley teachers we saw were younger and very intellectual, the kind you can tell quickly that are very smart if you known what I mean…The girls looked very focused and driven.

Curious did you ultimately pick one over the other?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we visited I felt the Chapin girls were much more relaxed and the teachers were really warm and supportive. The Brearley teachers we saw were younger and very intellectual, the kind you can tell quickly that are very smart if you known what I mean…The girls looked very focused and driven.

Curious did you ultimately pick one over the other?

Are all of you getting into this schools for middle and HS from publics?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People always seem to think that Spence is somehow less rigorous and more hierarchical than Chapin and Brearley, but I’m unsure how true that is - I only have personal connections with Spence. But that was the reputation when I was at Trinity: Spence is for the silly (actually a worse motto which i won’t leave here).

Along time ago that may have been true, but all three seem to be as competitive as the other. I would say still Spence does appear to have a student body which cares marginally more than about status and maybe a small fraction less about academic perfection, but again, I don’t have experience with the other two outside of reputation. I did spent tons of time with Spence girls in the 2000’s since my cousins were there when I was across town, and they all wound up at ivies, if that matters to anyone. And the Spence students I spent time with were uniformly lovely, sophisticated, intelligent, ambitious young women.

Also, Spence does seem to have an incredibly tightly knit community: their Spence friends are still their best friends, and I can’t really say that about my Trinity classmates. However, I think that may be the case with the girls schools in general.

Really? I've never heard anyone think that - if anything, it's the opposite. Chapin was seen as more of a "finishing" school for WASPS. The old (misogynist) adage goes "Brearley girls become doctors, Spence girls marry doctors, and Chapin girls date doctors."

Right, that adage is from decades and decades ago, when women went off to bryn mawr or smith to meet a nice yale boy to marry. JD Salinger chronicled it pretty well. It’s quite different now. We all graduated either in the 2000s or the 2010s. For us, and obviously we were silly kids, we considered Spence to be the least academically inclined of the girls schools, but the most socially connected. it makes so little difference, though. Still some of the best schools in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People always seem to think that Spence is somehow less rigorous and more hierarchical than Chapin and Brearley, but I’m unsure how true that is - I only have personal connections with Spence. But that was the reputation when I was at Trinity: Spence is for the silly (actually a worse motto which i won’t leave here).

Along time ago that may have been true, but all three seem to be as competitive as the other. I would say still Spence does appear to have a student body which cares marginally more than about status and maybe a small fraction less about academic perfection, but again, I don’t have experience with the other two outside of reputation. I did spent tons of time with Spence girls in the 2000’s since my cousins were there when I was across town, and they all wound up at ivies, if that matters to anyone. And the Spence students I spent time with were uniformly lovely, sophisticated, intelligent, ambitious young women.

Also, Spence does seem to have an incredibly tightly knit community: their Spence friends are still their best friends, and I can’t really say that about my Trinity classmates. However, I think that may be the case with the girls schools in general.

Really? I've never heard anyone think that - if anything, it's the opposite. Chapin was seen as more of a "finishing" school for WASPS. The old (misogynist) adage goes "Brearley girls become doctors, Spence girls marry doctors, and Chapin girls date doctors."

Right, that adage is from decades and decades ago, when women went off to bryn mawr or smith to meet a nice yale boy to marry. JD Salinger chronicled it pretty well. It’s quite different now. We all graduated either in the 2000s or the 2010s. For us, and obviously we were silly kids, we considered Spence to be the least academically inclined of the girls schools, but the most socially connected. it makes so little difference, though. Still some of the best schools in the world.

All of these schools have evolved with the times while also keeping some degree of their traditions in place. But some very old stereotypes definitely do not hold true anymore.

I speak from firsthand experience as an alum who now sends their kids to one of these TTs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People always seem to think that Spence is somehow less rigorous and more hierarchical than Chapin and Brearley, but I’m unsure how true that is - I only have personal connections with Spence. But that was the reputation when I was at Trinity: Spence is for the silly (actually a worse motto which i won’t leave here).

Along time ago that may have been true, but all three seem to be as competitive as the other. I would say still Spence does appear to have a student body which cares marginally more than about status and maybe a small fraction less about academic perfection, but again, I don’t have experience with the other two outside of reputation. I did spent tons of time with Spence girls in the 2000’s since my cousins were there when I was across town, and they all wound up at ivies, if that matters to anyone. And the Spence students I spent time with were uniformly lovely, sophisticated, intelligent, ambitious young women.

Also, Spence does seem to have an incredibly tightly knit community: their Spence friends are still their best friends, and I can’t really say that about my Trinity classmates. However, I think that may be the case with the girls schools in general.

Really? I've never heard anyone think that - if anything, it's the opposite. Chapin was seen as more of a "finishing" school for WASPS. The old (misogynist) adage goes "Brearley girls become doctors, Spence girls marry doctors, and Chapin girls date doctors."

Right, that adage is from decades and decades ago, when women went off to bryn mawr or smith to meet a nice yale boy to marry. JD Salinger chronicled it pretty well. It’s quite different now. We all graduated either in the 2000s or the 2010s. For us, and obviously we were silly kids, we considered Spence to be the least academically inclined of the girls schools, but the most socially connected. it makes so little difference, though. Still some of the best schools in the world.

All of these schools have evolved with the times while also keeping some degree of their traditions in place. But some very old stereotypes definitely do not hold true anymore.

I speak from firsthand experience as an alum who now sends their kids to one of these TTs.

Interesting. I must be stuck in the past! Spence still does strike me as more "modern." Small example - Brearley and Spence have transitioned to having the girls wear graduation gaps and gowns over their white dresses, Chapin still does white gowns. Not a problem - just an observation. Probably just about keeping their traditions.