What can you do about a crazy ex girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

DH and I have been married for two years now, and occasionally his ex girlfriend still sprouts up to trash something about him or me, and try and put a wedge between us. It's so frustrating! Particularly because my husband gets so angry, and though we've brought it up to police they can't do anything unless she's being particularly threatening to us or our property.
But she keeps coming around and shoving her nose into our friends and family's lives until she finds out new info on us, then trashes us about it.
When they broke up, he had to have a lawyer speak to her family because she was threatening to destroy his car and sabotage his work reputation.
I don't know how to handle this because it just pushes me to the point of almost snapping every single time

[Anonymous]

Ignore her. Cut ties with anyone that still talks to her. Put a lockdown on your social media, change email addresses, phone numbers, etc.

[Anonymous]

All you can do is ignore her and make it clear for friends and family to cut her off. I don't see how she can come around actually. I mean what can she do?

[Anonymous]

Have a video camera record outside your home, etc. If she is stalking this will be used as evidence. Document all harassment. We had a lawyer send crazy ex a letter threatening to pursue legal action if she didn't leave us alone. It stated in no uncertain words that we didn't want to have a relationship with her. It worked and scared the heck out of her. Try that.

[Anonymous]

She can't shove her nose to friends and family unless they are having some kind of relationship with her. I'd nip that real quick. If they are going to talk to her, you won't be talking to them. Keep your relationship details to yourselves so nothing can get out for her to have.

[Anonymous]

Why did they break up? Did he cheat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did they break up? Did he cheat?

No, they broke up when she threatened suicide and got sent to a mental facility for two weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did they break up? Did he cheat?

No, they broke up when she threatened suicide and got sent to a mental facility for two weeks.

She threatened suicide and he dumped her? Seriously? I can see why she is pissed, he kicked her when she was down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did they break up? Did he cheat?

No, they broke up when she threatened suicide and got sent to a mental facility for two weeks.

She threatened suicide and he dumped her? Seriously? I can see why she is pissed, he kicked her when she was down.

Threatening suicide to try and keep someone in a relationship is one of the worst things a person can do. They were having a tough spot in their relationship and when he told her he might want to break up, she used it as a manipulation tactic. He saved the text logs and voicemails and reported it, so she went into an institution. Obvious to say after that, they were no longer together. Not the point. It's been years, and she's still obsessing over his life and my life. She has no business here anymore. Never did. She's not a victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did they break up? Did he cheat?

No, they broke up when she threatened suicide and got sent to a mental facility for two weeks.

She threatened suicide and he dumped her? Seriously? I can see why she is pissed, he kicked her when she was down.

Threatening suicide to try and keep someone in a relationship is one of the worst things a person can do. They were having a tough spot in their relationship and when he told her he might want to break up, she used it as a manipulation tactic. He saved the text logs and voicemails and reported it, so she went into an institution. Obvious to say after that, they were no longer together. Not the point. It's been years, and she's still obsessing over his life and my life. She has no business here anymore. Never did. She's not a victim.

That poster is uninformed OP. Threatening suicide, as you've said, is abusive and she likely is BPD (borderline or bipolar). Is she stalking you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did they break up? Did he cheat?

No, they broke up when she threatened suicide and got sent to a mental facility for two weeks.

She threatened suicide and he dumped her? Seriously? I can see why she is pissed, he kicked her when she was down.

Threatening suicide to try and keep someone in a relationship is one of the worst things a person can do. They were having a tough spot in their relationship and when he told her he might want to break up, she used it as a manipulation tactic. He saved the text logs and voicemails and reported it, so she went into an institution. Obvious to say after that, they were no longer together. Not the point. It's been years, and she's still obsessing over his life and my life. She has no business here anymore. Never did. She's not a victim.

That poster is uninformed OP. Threatening suicide, as you've said, is abusive and she likely is BPD (borderline or bipolar). Is she stalking you?

She used to, when we first got married. Now, I don't believe so. Just being a harassment when she deems it necessary

[Anonymous]

Yes, BPD. Try the lawyer letter. I had to threaten a restraining order against a woman like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, BPD. Try the lawyer letter. I had to threaten a restraining order against a woman like this.

+1 or begin a record of the harassment with the police. You should have done so when she was stalking you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have been married for two years now, and occasionally his ex girlfriend still sprouts up to trash something about him or me, and try and put a wedge between us. It's so frustrating! Particularly because my husband gets so angry, and though we've brought it up to police they can't do anything unless she's being particularly threatening to us or our property.
But she keeps coming around and shoving her nose into our friends and family's lives until she finds out new info on us, then trashes us about it.
When they broke up, he had to have a lawyer speak to her family because she was threatening to destroy his car and sabotage his work reputation.
I don't know how to handle this because it just pushes me to the point of almost snapping every single time

Can you be more specific about how she "keeps coming around"? There is a big difference between an ex who has been totally cut off from you, but persists in finding contact information, and an ex who has access to information about you through other people who are wiling to blab. The latter will be more difficult to nip in the bud, because you will have to cut out friends and acquaintances who don't take your privacy seriously.

[Anonymous]

DH and I have been married for two years now, and occasionally his ex girlfriend still sprouts up to trash something about him or me, and try and put a wedge between us. It's so frustrating! Particularly because my husband gets so angry, and though we've brought it up to police they can't do anything unless she's being particularly threatening to us or our property.
But she keeps coming around and shoving her nose into our friends and family's lives until she finds out new info on us, then trashes us about it.

What do you mean "trashes us?" Exactly what is she doing at this juncture?