Question on early signs of dementia and declaring an elderly parent incompetent
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Anonymous
| I've gotten great advice from DCUM in the past and am hoping someone can help with this situation. So, I am the only child of a widowed 88 yr old parent and think I may be seeing warning signs of dementia and I'm not sure what to do about it. My dad lives alone but is set to move into an independent living/assisted living place in a few months. He is quite sharp mentally when it comes to taking care of his finances, managing his personal affairs, taking his medicine, self-care, etc. The only troubling behavior I have seen so far is his tendency to fall for direct mail and phone scams (e.g., you've won $1 mill. from Publishers Clearing House--just send $5000 dollars to pay for the taxes due on the prize... and various variations of this story line). Luckily he has checked with me before sending out any money in each case but I'm still troubled that he doesn't "get" that it's a scam and that I have to keep explaining why it is a scam. I see him or talk to him every day, am on his back accounts, take him to all his medical appointments, etc. but I can't control what he gets in the mail or the phone calls that he gets at home. Has anyone had direct experience with this sort of behavior? What did you do? I'm not sure if I need to talk to a lawyer, a doctor, or a psychiatrist. TIA |
Anonymous
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Id schedule an appt for a medical check up, ideally with a gerontologist. Best if you could accompany your dad. If you can't, try to call ahead and have a brief phone conference with his doctor. Follow up that call with a letter (mail or fax) to the doctors attention, outlining specific concerns.
Perhaps a neuro test will be ordered. I think but don't recall exactly but before my dad moved into an asset living place, he had to be kind of medically cleared to determined level of care and appropriate living situation. He had to move right to skilled nursing and could not live indep, for example. Physically, he had too many limitations and mentally he was dx with dementia via neuro. |
Anonymous
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Are you sure that you have appropriate power of attorney and medical health care proxy to act in your Dad's behalf?
It may well be that Dad is lonely and these calls offer him some personal contact. I think once he moves if you can get him involved with others there, this tendency may stop. Also could you get him anew number when he moves or just a cell phone as calls to those seem to bea lot less. Sounds like he is making the move at a good timr. Staff there will be another resource to see how he is functioning from here on out. |
Anonymous
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It has been awhile since your op - how everything is going?
What a blessing to your father that you are there for him - and indeed a precious time for you as well, yet I imagine somewhat bittersweet. In reading the few responses, it seems as though you have been given some good suggestions! I have also attached a link to an article in which you might find the answers you are seeking. It is my hope too that you are also taking care of yourself, as the role of a caregiver can be stressful - both emotionally taxing and physically exhausting; A huge responsibility - especially when without other family to carry some of the load. I do feel that whenever we are faced th any challenge a support system of some kind is important for our own well-being and The Caregiver Action Network might be a good place to start - they offer peer support, education and resources for those who have selflessly taken on the role of caregiver... YOU! I can only imagine how difficult this change in parent/child dynamics must be at times.. for both of you, but what a wonderful opportunity to bond. Although you may grow weary, it is my prayer that you each cherish every moment. You really have given an incredible gift to your dad - he has you in his corner. I cannot think of a better way to honor him. http://bit.ly/1Ov5FoK |
Anonymous
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