Our 9 month old doodle is snapping

[Anonymous]

We love our sweet mini Goldendoodle, and she's pretty low key. We have two girls, 8 and 10. The 8 year old has ADHD and does not have good boundaries with the dog. Sometimes when the dog walks away, DD follows and doesn't take hint, throws a blanket on her to "tuck her in" etc. she loves the dog, but the feeling is clearly not mutual. I have recently seen the dog growl and or bear her teeth at our daughter. What should we do? I can't imagine that she would ever bite, but I am afraid of this continuing. She has never growled at me or my husband.

[Anonymous]

Either your child behaves appropriately with the dog, or dog needs a new home that's happy and safe for him.

Or keep them far apart.

[Anonymous]

Teach your daughter what your dog likes and dislikes. Teach her to notice the signs that the dog is not happy with what she's doing. She needs to learn to have better boundaries with the dog. My child is 4 and we've had to work with him to understand our dog's boundaries. Sometimes kids don't understand that pets have their own ideas of what they like and dislike, just like people do.

[Anonymous]

You need to establish boundaries with your daughter. I have two children with ADHD and they know they aren't to bother the dog. Does the dog have a place she can go when she wants to be left alone (like a crate)?

[Anonymous]

Dog trainer here.

Dog needs child free space that your daughter does not go anywhere near. Daughter needs to be taught asap that she can only interact with the dog when it approaches her--she should never approach the dog.

Growling is good. Make sure to never punish/yell at the dog for letting you know it's uncomfortable. Dogs who are scared to growl are the ones who end up biting because they don't know how else to say "back off"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teach your daughter what your dog likes and dislikes. Teach her to notice the signs that the dog is not happy with what she's doing. She needs to learn to have better boundaries with the dog. My child is 4 and we've had to work with him to understand our dog's boundaries. Sometimes kids don't understand that pets have their own ideas of what they like and dislike, just like people do.

Kids are sociopathic for a long time. DD is doing what SHE wants to do, not what the dog would like. Your DD is lacking empathy for the dog.
The dogs wondering wtf is wrong with your DD I'm sure.
You can try to teach your DD empathy.

I have two kids. One like your DD and one who is very empathetic and sweet. I've had a hard time teaching the one to be more empathetic but we try and model nonstop. Our pets love when she's out of the house frankly. She's not actively mean but holds them too much when they don't want to be held and that kind of thing. It's annoying.

You can let her have X number of minutes with the dog and that's it? I'd be super mad if my kid did stuff that caused the dog to bear her teeth - that's going pretty far. I would point out to DD that she had upset the dog and that means to not do it again. I'd discipline the dog too though. I had a dog grow up with my kids from birth and she never once even growled at them and knew that that would never be acceptable (well, she did it once. We had words). If someone gets bitten you have a real mess on your hands all around - ER visit, social workers, animal control. That being said I protected the dog too and made sure that everyone was kind to her (strangely my one who hugs our pets too much now was never that way when we had the dog?).

Anyway good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teach your daughter what your dog likes and dislikes. Teach her to notice the signs that the dog is not happy with what she's doing. She needs to learn to have better boundaries with the dog. My child is 4 and we've had to work with him to understand our dog's boundaries. Sometimes kids don't understand that pets have their own ideas of what they like and dislike, just like people do.

Kids are sociopathic for a long time. DD is doing what SHE wants to do, not what the dog would like. Your DD is lacking empathy for the dog.
The dogs wondering wtf is wrong with your DD I'm sure.
You can try to teach your DD empathy.

I have two kids. One like your DD and one who is very empathetic and sweet. I've had a hard time teaching the one to be more empathetic but we try and model nonstop. Our pets love when she's out of the house frankly. She's not actively mean but holds them too much when they don't want to be held and that kind of thing. It's annoying.

You can let her have X number of minutes with the dog and that's it? I'd be super mad if my kid did stuff that caused the dog to bear her teeth - that's going pretty far. I would point out to DD that she had upset the dog and that means to not do it again. I'd discipline the dog too though. I had a dog grow up with my kids from birth and she never once even growled at them and knew that that would never be acceptable (well, she did it once. We had words). If someone gets bitten you have a real mess on your hands all around - ER visit, social workers, animal control. That being said I protected the dog too and made sure that everyone was kind to her (strangely my one who hugs our pets too much now was never that way when we had the dog?).

Anyway good luck.

OH please. This is not sociopathic behavior. This is not child enjoying an animal in pain, this is a young child who isn't old enough to be trusted to play well with an animal. Do you really not know the difference?

[Anonymous]

you need to bring in a trainer and fast. And your daughter needs to listen to what the trainer tells her. otherwise your daughter is going to get bitten and you will end up giving the dog to rescue (if it's lucky, if not the pound).

Make sure the dog gets plenty of exercise and has a safe place to rest where it won't get bothered.

[Anonymous]

Our dog growls at strangers in the house and our trainer told us never to yell at him for it. Growling is communicating and telling the person bugging him to back off/stay away. If dogs are trained not to growl they won't have any other way to communicate other than biting so you're basically setting them up for failure.

We don't have children but have a large extended family and we have put up a baby gate in our tv room that gives our dog space from kids/people. He is calmer if he has his own space.

[Anonymous]

Create a safe space for the dog, make sure the kids know that when the dog is there they are not to bother it. Our dog is very nervous around young loud kids, when things get too much for the dog we put her in a bedroom with the door shut, off limits to everyone. I would also suggest training for your family and the dog. WARL use to have classes for kids to learn more about caring for dogs. It may be hard to get your kids to fully understand at this point but if you are all to live together I would recommend establishing boundaries, safe behaviors and safe places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teach your daughter what your dog likes and dislikes. Teach her to notice the signs that the dog is not happy with what she's doing. She needs to learn to have better boundaries with the dog. My child is 4 and we've had to work with him to understand our dog's boundaries. Sometimes kids don't understand that pets have their own ideas of what they like and dislike, just like people do.

Kids are sociopathic for a long time. DD is doing what SHE wants to do, not what the dog would like. Your DD is lacking empathy for the dog.
The dogs wondering wtf is wrong with your DD I'm sure.
You can try to teach your DD empathy.

I have two kids. One like your DD and one who is very empathetic and sweet. I've had a hard time teaching the one to be more empathetic but we try and model nonstop. Our pets love when she's out of the house frankly. She's not actively mean but holds them too much when they don't want to be held and that kind of thing. It's annoying.

You can let her have X number of minutes with the dog and that's it? I'd be super mad if my kid did stuff that caused the dog to bear her teeth - that's going pretty far. I would point out to DD that she had upset the dog and that means to not do it again. I'd discipline the dog too though. I had a dog grow up with my kids from birth and she never once even growled at them and knew that that would never be acceptable (well, she did it once. We had words). If someone gets bitten you have a real mess on your hands all around - ER visit, social workers, animal control. That being said I protected the dog too and made sure that everyone was kind to her (strangely my one who hugs our pets too much now was never that way when we had the dog?).

Anyway good luck.

OH please. This is not sociopathic behavior. This is not child enjoying an animal in pain, this is a young child who isn't old enough to be trusted to play well with an animal. Do you really not know the difference?

Oh please - think before you speak.

http://gawker.com/science-proves-that-teenagers-dont-give-a-damn-about-an-1446305654

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dog trainer here.

Dog needs child free space that your daughter does not go anywhere near. Daughter needs to be taught asap that she can only interact with the dog when it approaches her--she should never approach the dog.

Growling is good. Make sure to never punish/yell at the dog for letting you know it's uncomfortable. Dogs who are scared to growl are the ones who end up biting because they don't know how else to say "back off"

I wouldn't say growling is good. It's a sign that the dog is uncomfortable, which is not good. My golden never growled at a human in his entire life, because it would never occur to him that there could be anything bad associated with humans of any size or stripe. (He would growl at a dog if the dog was being aggressive with him.) Same with my boxer. I had a spaniel that growled, but only if he had stolen something and I was trying to get it back (he was a little thief).
I would get a trainer for this and work on both teaching the child appropriate boundaries, but getting the doodle more comfortable with the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dog trainer here.

Dog needs child free space that your daughter does not go anywhere near. Daughter needs to be taught asap that she can only interact with the dog when it approaches her--she should never approach the dog.

Growling is good. Make sure to never punish/yell at the dog for letting you know it's uncomfortable. Dogs who are scared to growl are the ones who end up biting because they don't know how else to say "back off"

I wouldn't say growling is good. It's a sign that the dog is uncomfortable, which is not good. My golden never growled at a human in his entire life, because it would never occur to him that there could be anything bad associated with humans of any size or stripe. (He would growl at a dog if the dog was being aggressive with him.) Same with my boxer. I had a spaniel that growled, but only if he had stolen something and I was trying to get it back (he was a little thief).
I would get a trainer for this and work on both teaching the child appropriate boundaries, but getting the doodle more comfortable with the child.

+1

OP's doodle did not get the lab/golden temperament. OP, you either need to make it 100% clear that your DD can only interact with the dog under very close supervision and be very respectful of the dog, or keep them entirely separate/rehome the dog. Your DD is not treating the dog well, and the dog is not acting nicely for a family dog. Part of the job of a family dog is to tolerate children, which your dog is not doing. Your DD needs to change her interactions with the dog, and/or the dog needs to be separated or rehomed.

[Anonymous]

OP,

Some dogs will tolerate this kind of behavior from kids, but it is truly inappropriate. It's a dog not a doll. Even if she has ADHD, she and you cannot use this as an excuse.

Your DD needs to take a training class, even one as basic at PetSmart. Your kids are also old enough to walk and feed the dog, so hopefully they take part in her day to day care which will go a long way to strengthening the bond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dog trainer here.

Dog needs child free space that your daughter does not go anywhere near. Daughter needs to be taught asap that she can only interact with the dog when it approaches her--she should never approach the dog.

Growling is good. Make sure to never punish/yell at the dog for letting you know it's uncomfortable. Dogs who are scared to growl are the ones who end up biting because they don't know how else to say "back off"

This is great advice. Our sweet mini golden is fine as long as you don't try to move him or pick him up when he's sleeping. He turns into vicious biter when this happens. I and my kids (one of which has ADHD) have learned to respect his space and let him be when he is resting.