appropriate gift or amount to spend on someone writing a recommendation??

[Anonymous]

two questions- how much for someone writing a recommendation? how much or what to give to someone offering to be a reference? thanks! good luck to you all by the way. honestly after reading all of these posts i think your children are all so lucky to have such caring parents who are trying so hard to do what they believe is best for their children. i hope you all get in wherever you desire.

[Anonymous]

WTF???

[Anonymous]

NADA!

[Anonymous]

I agree, I find it totally unethical to give a gift or any compensation to someone writing or serving as a reference per private school. I hope this is a joke.

[Anonymous]

I think this is a joke.....it has to be.

[Anonymous]

I think a gift certificate to a nice restaurant or a spa would be nice. I would also be sure to have the child write a nice note - if its a PreK'er - maybe have them draw a sweet picture. We gave the person that wrote our letter a case of wine - but that's because we knew what they liked. I think a gift certificate of some sort is nice versus sending cash.

[Anonymous]

Nothing - I think it is considered a bribe at that point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a gift certificate to a nice restaurant or a spa would be nice. I would also be sure to have the child write a nice note - if its a PreK'er - maybe have them draw a sweet picture. We gave the person that wrote our letter a case of wine - but that's because we knew what they liked. I think a gift certificate of some sort is nice versus sending cash.

A case of wine??? Now I've heard everything.

[Anonymous]

Heck, why not just pay them in advance!

[Anonymous]

We did not give anything to the teacher who wrote our child's recommendations. A neighbor volunteered to write a letter of recommendation for the school her daughter attends, and we gave her flowers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree, I find it totally unethical to give a gift or any compensation to someone writing or serving as a reference per private school. I hope this is a joke.

op here. oh my gosh to you and the two previous posters! what is your problem? this is not a teacher? this is a family friend who already sent the recommendation. they took the time to sit down and do something nice for me and i would like to just show my appreciation! it is not a bribe, as they are a family friend. it is etiquette to show your appreciation. not sure what kind of manners you were raised with or (without)!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did not give anything to the teacher who wrote our child's recommendations. A neighbor volunteered to write a letter of recommendation for the school her daughter attends, and we gave her flowers.

thank you. this is what i am talking about. goodness, i am new to this whole process!

[Anonymous]

Agree that you NEVER give gifts for someone writing a recommendation. A thank you card is sufficient.

[Anonymous]

I am the one that said it was unethical. A card is fine, any thing more is not. Sorry-- I am a highly mannered person and this is just not acceptable.

[Anonymous]

I have written numerous letters of recommendation, and would have refused any gift that was offered for doing so - a gift obligates you to do something for the person giving it - and in the case of a letter of recommendation, it feels unethical to accept one.