Changing Schools in Second Grade

[Anonymous]

We are considering a move to be closer to work, and would have to move our daughter to a different elementary school. We would move over the summer, and she would be starting second grade at the new school. She has been at her current school since kindergarten and has friends there. I'd love to hear from others about their experiences changing their child's school at (or around) that age. How did DC adjust? Was making new friends fairly easy? Would you say that this is an okay age to change, or is there anything about it that would make it more difficult than other ages?

Obviously the answer could be different for different kids, so if it helps -- she's a generally friendly kid, not shy, but small for her age and easily overwhelmed.

[Anonymous]

We moved the summer before second grade and my shy child was fine. I was worried too, but he made friends and adjusted to the new school very easily.

[Anonymous]

At that age it's fairly easy if the move is over the summer. Just don't move during the school year, that's hard for any kid.

[Anonymous]

A change of school has always got its challenges - getting to know the new building, teachers, rules and mainly the other kids. But it can be a very positive experience.

My 2 ES aged children have had to make this move more than once (due to relocating for work) and each time I would say it takes about 4-6 weeks from the start of the year to settle in.

They are both friendly and outgoing children. They have (my DD) occasionally experienced exclusion from tight night groups of girls, but she knows to just move on, talk to other kids, be friendly with EVERYONE. And after time, even those tight knit groups of girls come round and my DD has been invited to their small parties and so on.

I would add that we did move our son in the middle of the year and that was actually a really positive experience. Because he was not lost in the general crowd of "new" kids in the class at the start of the year, he was a novelty and it meant that each child in his classroom was interested in getting to know him. It also meant that his teacher had the opportunity to assess him thoroughly in terms of academics, without having to do the assessments of every other kid in the room.

My son did not find starting mid-year more challenging than starting at any other time. I don't know why people always insist that this is harder, but it really doesn't have to be so.

Hope some of this is helpful. Of course every child is different. I would say if you're not moving too far away, to set up some play dates with existing friends on weekends or official days off school - to keep the sense that there is more to life than just the new school and the kids there.

[Anonymous]

Our DD's transition (granted in 1st) was tough -- esp. entering a class where she knew absolutely no one. She met friends, but it took a while, esp. since many of the parents already seemed to know each other and have play dates established already.

[Anonymous]

ok, I'll try not to sound too snarky, but seriously, your kids will be fine. Kids have always moved schools from 1st to 12th grade. Younger is always easier since they make friends more easily than when they are older. We moved when older DC was going into 2nd. All is well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ok, I'll try not to sound too snarky, but seriously, your kids will be fine. Kids have always moved schools from 1st to 12th grade. Younger is always easier since they make friends more easily than when they are older. We moved when older DC was going into 2nd. All is well.

Agree with this. I moved my very shy second grader and it was no big deal. The kids don't care. It is the parents that reflects their fears onto the child. Also it's not that serious to make friends right away.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks, all. This is helpful. I know I probably worry too much about it, but I went to school with the same people from first grade on, as did DH, so we just don't have any first-hand experience with that kind of change.

We have friends with kids who would be in her grade at the new school, so we will be sure to set up some play dates over the summer so she will know at least a couple of people when she starts.

[Anonymous]

DH and I had a similar upbringing as you OP. Same schools, same kids, from K-12. We moved cross country the summer after dd's 2nd grade year. She's very introverted so we worried. We didn't know a soul at her new school. Her first day was horrible. I debated talking to her teacher about how to help her transition, but when I picked her up
The second day, she ran up to me and hugged me and said moving was the best thing we ever did and she made so many new friends. I'm sure yours will be fine too.

[Anonymous]

We move all of our kids from public to private in 3rd grade and the transition is just fine.

[Anonymous]

01.02 here. Anecdotal evidence, but it is what it is:

I was in several different schools, as were my siblings. Sister and I had similar number of moves, but I'm detailing mine:

CDC preschool, moved with a small group to math/science magnet for K. NBD.

Move in April of 2nd grade. Traumatic socially, and the teacher who expected me to learn perfect cursive in one week was a witch.

Move at the beginning of third (within school system, different school), wonderful. Every third grader was new to the building.

Move at the beginning of fifth (within school system, different school) into straight 5th class, my choice as I was done dealing with people who didn't want to listen when I explained how I knew how to do things. Wonderful teacher, one of 6 new kids in the class, NBD.

Move at the beginning of sixth, beginning of middle school. NBD.

Move at the beginning of eighth, NBD. What was a big deal was that the Spanish teach quit after a month, and they hired a French speaker to sub and "teach us French." We didn't learn a thing. School was on semesters.

Move at Christmas of eighth, torture. School was on trimesters, so everything was screwed up from the moment I was registered. I got a double dose of Civil War and WWI, missed out on a bunch of Algebra (that I thankfully had learned on my own), came in to Spanish with the expectation that I'd had half a year, but it was really only a month at the beginning of the year. Kids were in tight cliques, they put me in the lowest cohort for the first week (accidentally) and when they switched me to the highest they made a big deal about it so kids were atrocious. Science was flipped at the second school, so every single thing was a repeat.

Move to boarding school for high school. Fabulous. 4 years continuous in the same school. A few kids left at the end of each year, many joined Soph and Junior years, only one new girl senior year. 18 4 year seniors, 20+ 3 year, no clue how many 2 year seniors and the one extra girl who was great at almost everything, so everyone wanted around. Small classes, groups that overlapped, perfection was the continuity of knowing I would be there for all four years unless my grades tanked or I got kicked out due to behavior.

Kids who move in lower grades are a welcome change at the beginning of the year, someone new to meet and get to know. In the middle of the year, it can still be okay socially (sister in 1st had four bffs after 1 week), but it's much harder. Moving constantly without having a reason that a child can understand (not military or job-related) is traumatic, and kids start to close off, because there's no rhyme or reason to when they will be uprooted again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ok, I'll try not to sound too snarky, but seriously, your kids will be fine. Kids have always moved schools from 1st to 12th grade. Younger is always easier since they make friends more easily than when they are older. We moved when older DC was going into 2nd. All is well.

Anything before 4th grade is easy.

Once the kids start getting mean (4th-5th for girls and 5th-6th for boys) it gets more challenging and harder for the kids to adjust.

But second grade? Almost painless.

[Anonymous]

I think it will be fine, but do take her to visit the building and check out the playground and so forth, and if you can take her to an end of year thing before the year ends at the new school, all the better, like the school play or concert or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:01.02 here. Anecdotal evidence, but it is what it is:

I was in several different schools, as were my siblings. Sister and I had similar number of moves, but I'm detailing mine:

CDC preschool, moved with a small group to math/science magnet for K. NBD.

Move in April of 2nd grade. Traumatic socially, and the teacher who expected me to learn perfect cursive in one week was a witch.

Move at the beginning of third (within school system, different school), wonderful. Every third grader was new to the building.

Move at the beginning of fifth (within school system, different school) into straight 5th class, my choice as I was done dealing with people who didn't want to listen when I explained how I knew how to do things. Wonderful teacher, one of 6 new kids in the class, NBD.

Move at the beginning of sixth, beginning of middle school. NBD.

Move at the beginning of eighth, NBD. What was a big deal was that the Spanish teach quit after a month, and they hired a French speaker to sub and "teach us French." We didn't learn a thing. School was on semesters.

Move at Christmas of eighth, torture. School was on trimesters, so everything was screwed up from the moment I was registered. I got a double dose of Civil War and WWI, missed out on a bunch of Algebra (that I thankfully had learned on my own), came in to Spanish with the expectation that I'd had half a year, but it was really only a month at the beginning of the year. Kids were in tight cliques, they put me in the lowest cohort for the first week (accidentally) and when they switched me to the highest they made a big deal about it so kids were atrocious. Science was flipped at the second school, so every single thing was a repeat.

Move to boarding school for high school. Fabulous. 4 years continuous in the same school. A few kids left at the end of each year, many joined Soph and Junior years, only one new girl senior year. 18 4 year seniors, 20+ 3 year, no clue how many 2 year seniors and the one extra girl who was great at almost everything, so everyone wanted around. Small classes, groups that overlapped, perfection was the continuity of knowing I would be there for all four years unless my grades tanked or I got kicked out due to behavior.

Kids who move in lower grades are a welcome change at the beginning of the year, someone new to meet and get to know. In the middle of the year, it can still be okay socially (sister in 1st had four bffs after 1 week), but it's much harder. Moving constantly without having a reason that a child can understand (not military or job-related) is traumatic, and kids start to close off, because there's no rhyme or reason to when they will be uprooted again.

You have too much of a compulsion to share and you share way way too much. This is just obsessive self-reference and zero to do with the OP's question.

[Anonymous]

I moved a lot as a kids and I found that moving mid-year was MUCH better than moving in the summer. When you move mid-year everyone knows you're new. They help you figure out where to go/what to do. Everyone is curious about you. The teachers are looking out for you.

But when you move in the summer, you start school with everyone else who already knows where everything is, they don't look out for you, many kids just assume that you were in another class and they just didn't meet you before. You are more likely to get lost in the shuffle.

I'm moving this year and I'm aiming to move mid-school year for these reasons.