how much did you communicate during your trial separation

[Anonymous]

I asked for it and need some time to breath and decide whether I have anything left to give to keep working on things. My husband is pressuring me to talk on the phone and see him a lot (no kids, living separately) and argues that if I don't will just grow apart even more. i'm feeling pressured to communicate more than I want but also see his point - what was healthy for you in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Are you in counseling together?

[Anonymous]

We are - fairly recently so still in the individual interviews etc portion

[Anonymous]

Does a trial separation instigated by the DW ever result in reconciliation?
My hunch would be no. So I would be honest with DH and tell him you're done and Then at least you're on the same page moving foreward.

[Anonymous]

We're in a trial separation now. We have 2 kids. I'm DW.

We really don't talk and even when we do, we text and it's about the kids. It's very basic.

Me: What time are you picking the kids up?
Him: 6pm
Me: Ok

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Does a trial separation instigated by the DW ever result in reconciliation?
My hunch would be no. So I would be honest with DH and tell him you're done and Then at least you're on the same page moving foreward.

My hunch is no as well. DH and I were going through a rough patch. I said over and over if we separate I don't think I'll come back, and don't leave, and I won't leave unless we are desperate. We need to physically be together in order for me to be able to make this work. Otherwise, it might just feel inevitable or maybe too good to be alone.

[Anonymous]

If we'd had no kids we never would have talked at all.

[Anonymous]

We're currently 2.5 months in and we do not talk except to discuss logistics about the kids. We had one conversation early on to pick a date to check in on where we were. When that date passed without any check in, I send DH an email outlining what I would have said if we had check in. He acknowledged it and thanked me the next time we exchanged the kids but we did not discuss it in depth.

My husband is the one who asked for the space and I am trying very hard to be respectful of it, given that one of his complaints is that I am not supportive of his needs.
We separated earlier in our marriage and basically were together a ton and just lived in different places. While we got back together, we never really fixed our problems or had the space to think through things. I try to keep that in mind as well when I am inclined to push him to talk.

[Anonymous]

No kids and didn't talk at all. I wanted a separation because I wanted nothing to do with him. Why is it just trail? If you have no kids just cut your losses now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No kids and didn't talk at all. I wanted a separation because I wanted nothing to do with him. Why is it just trail? If you have no kids just cut your losses now.

Ah, because OP may take her vows more seriously than you took yours.