Disappointment
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Anonymous
This month I had the most beautiful chart I've had in nearly 9 months. Everything looked perfect, and I was sure this was the month. No signs of AF, but woke up this morning to my flow. I was so shocked and disappointed that I couldn't get myself out of bed to go to work. How do people go through this month after month, year after year? DH and I are not young, so each month that goes by feels like we're missing out BIG time. 
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Anonymous
| This happened to me, too, a few months ago, OP. And then the next month I was convinced I wasn't pregnant and was. It will happen eventually - I know how hard it is to be patient, though. |
Anonymous
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Yeah, it took us a year to conceive our first, despite having no identifiable issues and perfect timing. Waiting stinks.
What's "not young"? If you're over 35, you should make an appointment with an RE since it's been more than 6 months. If you're under 35, you should try for a year first. You'd be surprised to learn how many people with normal fertility can take that long to conceive (raises hand). I conceived my second in one month, so it all goes to show sometimes it's just a waiting game. |
Anonymous
I stopped charting. I had a good idea of when I was ovulating, and charting helped me nail down my other signs, so it was useful for sure. But after about 6 months I found the charting only added to my stress level. So I stopped. I used OPKs and CM to figure it out. And I still used an app to track those things, so I'd have a rough idea of (with a day or 2) of when O was each month. After years, you eventually just learn to have very little hope and basically expect your period to come. Of course it's impossible NOT to be disappointed each month. But the big hopes and the big let downs weren't as dramatic. It's not really a good place to be because I was more generally depressed around then. It's really hard, that's for sure. Having this huge life changing thing hanging over your head and you not knowing WHEN it will happen, it's a crazy emotional time. Try to treat yourself gently. Take some time to grieve each month. I used to have period-pity-parties of sushi and prosecco. I cut back on drinking for awhile, but the first 2-3 days of my period, all bets were off. Hang in there. I hope you get your positive soon. |
Anonymous
OP here. Thanks everyone for your reassuring words. I am 35, and despite being off BC and charting for 9 months, we've only been ACTIVELY trying for a few, so doc wants to wait a couple more months before doing testing. I'd do it tomorrow if I could just to make sure we're not up against anything we don't know about. I've decided that I will throw myself into projects around the house over the next few weeks to keep distracted (and I'll enjoy as much wine as possible) until the next TWW. I know it won't make me feel all that much better, but it's a start. 
Oh yeah, and it didn't help that my colleague told me today she's preggo. Without trying. Obviously happy for her, but crappy timing. |
Anonymous
| I'm so sorry OP. I feel the same way. Everytime my period came it was extra crappy. I mean who loves the pms and all that comes with it. But if your TTC it's an extra kick in the pants. I'm sorry you're feeling like this and I hope next month is your month. Try every other day during your fertile window. A friend did that last month and that was all she changed and somehow a miracle happened!! |
Anonymous
| Well, as a veteran in this department, I'd say to get thee to a Reproductive endocrinologist STAT and do not delay! Ignore your OB who generally do not know a lot about this sort of thing. Move on to the next step, especially if you are over 35+. |
Anonymous
| Have you tried having sex every other day? Not sure if it helps but my three children were all conceived from drunk sex with hubby. Let lose, have fun, drink and do it every other day. |