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Do you judge them or wonder what's up?
Of course you can't know anyone's net worth but I have a few friends in their mid 30s (either single or w/ a partner/DH but no kids), who have had very "traditional" career paths -- i.e. 8 yrs in biglaw and then went to a midlaw firm; or 8 yrs in biglaw and then went to a gov't agency that is not on the GS scale etc; and don't have wild spending habits so presumably it's not an affordability issue. They've been in DC their whole careers and are east coast people, so I also don't have the sense that they don't want to buy in the DMV bc they foresee a move to Wisconsin in the next few yrs. Yet they have zero interest in buying. One is TOTALLY against it -- i.e. doesn't like housing as an investment and doesn't want to tie her money into that. The other waivers but hasn't pulled the trigger or done any kind of extended search. I think -- it is what it is, their money, their choice. Our common friends though have started to talk $hit about them -- "wondering" what's up and if they really can't afford it; or acting like they're dumb and are making a bad financial move. I don't say much in these conversations as I don't want to comment and I think it's uncomfortable to gossip about someone else's finances. Yet it's become a favorite topic of brunch conversation in my group (which normally isn't so judgy). Do you know people like this? Do you care about their financial decisions? |
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OMG. Mind your own business. Home ownership isn't everyone's ultimate dream.
You people need to get a life. |
| Sure. They have commitment issues and can be obsessive compulsive. They also don't value community living. All of their money is in the stock market and they're rich. |
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Homeownership isn't the brass ring that it was, even in this area. Homes don't appreciate that fast always (even here) AND with housing stock being old or new with shoddy construction, often you're putting a lot of money into it for the entire 30 yrs you live there. So yeah -- there are other investments where you could come out ahead more than housing.
Not uncommon for millennials (which your mid 30s friends are) to NOT want to buy a house. They also may not be sharing everything. I know people who want to buy in all cash or 3/4 cash -- that takes more time than merely 10% down. I know others who have a dream job and don't want to be tied down until they get that; what if one of these friends is keeping her options open bc she's eyeing a General Counsel position that would require her to move to Chicago? She may not be sharing that with your judgy crew. |
Amen! "OMG! THEY'RE *GASP* RENTING WHEN THEY CAN AFFORD TO BUY!" |
| The ONLY reason to buy real estate is to ensure stable quality schools for your kids. You can rent a small comfortable place and use the city as your playground and grow your wealth through real investments with actual liquidity. |
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My DH and I can afford to buy but haven't. We're in our mid-30s and have 4 children. We rent a SFH.
Just can't pull the trigger on buying. Just never really valued homeownership and generally see it as a hassle. Also don't want to be tied to a particular community and want the flexibility to move as we see fit and downgrade as our children leave home. I will admit that I sometimes get a little twinge like maybe we should but don't know if we will. I could see buying a condo as a rental property but SFH? Probably not. |
Hate to break it to you but many (most?) neighborhoods in the DMV are NOT community living? Lots of investor owned properties where renters move in and out yearly. Lots of neighborhoods with all owners who never talk to each other and MAYBE wave hello as they peel out of their driveways on their way to their super important jobs. As for the market thing -- when I lived in NYC this was definitely true. I ran with a banker crowd and they prided themselves on generating more appreciate on their money yearly than appreciation in the real estate market (which isn't insignificant in NYC on a yearly basis). So yeah -- their financial goals may be "non traditional" but no less worthy than yours. |
The people I know don't. They keep to themselves and are not involved in the local neighborhood activities. They have their own community (work, online, etc) but not where they live. |
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Your friends seem really provincial, OP.
This isn't the 1950s. |
FWIW -- I HAVE heard women act this way in this area. It's almost as if they use to justify how successful their DHs are that they bought in x neighborhood while their poor friends can't even get into a property. Often it's people who overbought and are justifying it by saying (w/o saying) -- well at least we're not poor like Janey, what's her problem, I mean I thought she did well in biglaw but I guess not --ha ha. |
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Until recently I was them. We were thinking about moving out of state. Also, we wanted to live downtown and go to bars and restaurants when we didn't have kids (so rent 1 bedroom) but we knew we would want a 3 bedroom house somewhere quieter and not in DCPS in 3-5 years. It didn't make sense to pull the trigger until kids were in the picture. Money was not a problem. We saved $300k in nonretirment by the time we bought a house.
Fwiw it doesn't sound like your friends who are shit talking really know much about money and investing. |
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I rent. We make $250,000, so we are doing OK. We are in our late 40s and have owned before.
We've rented the same house now for 9 years. I didn't know the area when I got the job, and we decided to rent before we figured out where we wanted to buy. And we "still" don't know where we'd like to live "permanently." I've saved like crazy instead of putting money into home repairs, and that is a nice feeling. I've done the home repair route before, when I didn't have much disposable income. Not fun. So maybe i'm a little unreasonably gun shy on that point. We will likely buy a single family home in a beach community when we retire, which is FAR cheaper than this area. I'll buy new, one level, and get old there comfortably. |
| Back in the 60s-70s, everyone followed the same course -- married between the ages of 18-22, buy a house, baby at 23. A house WAS your only investment choice if you were ordinary folks, as I don't think alternative investments like the markets were easily accessible to people unless they were uber educated and moving in the NYC financial world. Now with choices -- people spend their money and make their investments in lots of different ways other than housing. |
BUT BUT BUT don't you know you're THROWING AWAY money by renting? |