Can i get a restraining order to stop my ex from letting my daughter see someone?

[Anonymous]

The someone is my own mother. She's crazy. We're estranged. She's saying horrible, unspeakable, inappropriate things about me and many other things to my daughter. He won't honor my wish that she stop taking our daughter to her house. In fact, he gives up custody time to my mother-- after fighting me for years to have as much time as he gets.

Can I get a restraining order? What my daughter is hearing and seeing is not okay. He doesn't believe what I'm telling him, or he's pretending not to believe it.

She kisses his ass and babysits for him, and he clearly thinks it's fun to see me unable to assert my will as a mother.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a court ordered custody agreement? If not, you should get one. If you have one, get it amended..ASAP.

There are very strict legal guidelines for restraining orders and it does not sound like this meets the "harassment" or "threat" criteria.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you should take your child to a counselor who can find out if your mom is psychologically harming your child. Then, you have ammunition to take him back to court to have the agreement amended.

A lawyer could tell you more about how to strategize on this.

[Anonymous]

OP, I could not believe my eyes when I read your post. I am in the same boat with my DC's father. My mother befriended him to spite me and he quickly forgot that she couldn't stand him. (She now kisses his ass instead of treating him like crap like she used to.) I saw her repeatedly kiss my DC on the lips when she had cold sores on her lips, until my DC finally got them too. My DC's father says he doesn't believe me. He leaves my DC alone with my mother despite my strenuous objections. It is clear from what my DC says and asks me that the two of them talk about me openly, right in front of DC. It is inexcusable, evil behavior. I can only say I hope it is some consolation to you that you are not alone. I work hard on not letting this situation destroy my joy in life and on taking the high road (not ever talking shit about either of them to DC and simply saying "y

[Anonymous]

Woops, that posted itself. Meant to add "and simply saying, "you'll understand when you grow up" when DC asks me why I am estranged from my own mother. Hang in there, OP.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a written custody agreement w/ your ex? It should include a clause called "right of first refusal." This means if your ex can't/doesn't want to spend his normally scheduled time with the child, he has to offer you right of first refusal (and vice versa)-- i.e. he can't give the child to someone other than you on his custody time, without asking you if you'd like the time first. This would obviate his ability to allow daughter to spend time with your Mom (well, unsupervised by him, at least).

Perhaps you can get him to agree to this if he sees you as free babysitting for him? or that it offers him a similar benefit when you are out?