Cousins' relationship weirds me out

[Anonymous]

My cousins (a brother and sister) have an oddly close relationship and I'm trying to figure out if this is at all normal or totally weird. Both are in their early thirties. He's married with kids, she's single. I've always noticed that they're very close (she has very strong opinions on how he raises his kids and also gets into it with his wife). He sometimes sides with his sister, sometimes with wife. Nothing really jumped out at me as weird until the whole family came over for dinner one night. After dinner I saw them sitting on the couch looking like they were cuddling. Her arms were entwined in his and her head was on his shoulder. Even more odd- his wife was on the opposite side of couch either not noticing or not caring. After everyone left my husband brought it up as he witnessed it too and was totally freaked out by it. It made me start to observe things even closer and noticed that she often calls him "daddy" even when his kids aren't around and often takes on the motherly/disciplinarian role with the kids when their mom is right there.

What do you think? Is this common? I'm obviously not looking to get involved- just looking to gauge others opinions.

[Anonymous]

Sooo very weird. How is the wife accepting of all this? A friend of mine told me that some m/f siblings, who
are the only kids in the family are so close they seem almost incestuous/couple like, which I've seen. But not
to the extreme of cuddling. Very weird.

[Anonymous]

So weird. I feel sad for his wife.

[Anonymous]

OP here: it's hard to tell exactly how the wife takes it, I don't feel like I could even bring it up with her. I've observed arguments between the three of them where the wife basically says "he's my husband, stay out of it". I think a big issue stems from him not siding with his wife -if they're arguing over something his sister will always side with him and he'll use it to show he's right. Another issue is when his sister will discipline the kids in front of the wife. In fact, my husband has even noticed that sometimes she'll get the kids all worked up and then discipline them, almost like she wants to control the situation so badly she'll set the events in motion. Lastly, I feel that the sister sees the three of them as one unit. She introduced the then fiancée/ future SIL as "my friend" at family functions, not "this is 'susie', 'joe's' fiancée.

[Anonymous]

I think they have this "blood attraction " or something I google it. My knees and nephew, have a child product of the affair that they had . My nephew had a girlfriend by then with a child too. It is insets . Are they from WV?

[Anonymous]

There is a range of normal behaviors and some not so normal, I bet, just like everything. They could just have grown up close and still are. If you didn't grow up in a close family, it might seem weird to you. At the least it sounds like poor boundaries.

[Anonymous]

What's the sisters life like - dating, wanting her own DH and kids, has her own friends? Or is she over at their house 4 nights a week? If it's the latter, chances are she views the brother as the man in her life and the kids as "their" kids and views the brothers wife merely as the uterus that was needed to make the family. My question is why does the bro allow it? Does he somehow feel responsible for his sisters happiness and thus let's her be involved in his family life 24-7?

[Anonymous]

oooooh super gross... I wonder the most at the wife's boundaries... she had to have seen that and still married him... wtf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's the sisters life like - dating, wanting her own DH and kids, has her own friends? Or is she over at their house 4 nights a week? If it's the latter, chances are she views the brother as the man in her life and the kids as "their" kids and views the brothers wife merely as the uterus that was needed to make the family. My question is why does the bro allow it? Does he somehow feel responsible for his sisters happiness and thus let's her be involved in his family life 24-7?

The sister does not date, lives with mom, sees brother and family often but not as much as 4x a week. I agree that she most likely sees her brother as the man in her life especially since their dad is not in the picture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think they have this "blood attraction " or something I google it. My knees and nephew, have a child product of the affair that they had . My nephew had a girlfriend by then with a child too. It is insets . Are they from WV?

Where are you from with your knees and insets. Are you American ?

[Anonymous]

As a friend, op, you should offer to do something for the wife. Like, possibly call out the sister (whatever your friend wants to be said, but can't say). You take all the blame and the wife can act like she had nothing to do with it.

But alas I see your comment above. It's a hard situation to discuss with your friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think they have this "blood attraction " or something I google it. My knees and nephew, have a child product of the affair that they had . My nephew had a girlfriend by then with a child too. It is insets . Are they from WV?

Where are you from with your knees and insets. Are you American ?

I think the PP simply has an iPhone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think they have this "blood attraction " or something I google it. My knees and nephew, have a child product of the affair that they had . My nephew had a girlfriend by then with a child too. It is insets . Are they from WV?

Where are you from with your knees and insets. Are you American ?

I think the PP simply has an iPhone.

No, I think it's badly faked broken English. We'll call it "Trollish".

[Anonymous]

I always wondered It too because I felt and witnessed the attraction between cousins.
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Sex/story?id=4805439

nutshell, kids who grow up in close proximity — sharing bath and bedrooms, rolling around on the kitchen floor, wrestling and fighting, even hugging and kissing — will develop a strong "positive" sexual aversion to each other when puberty sets in. It's the feeling most of us get when we imagine sex with a sibling, a visceral "yuck."

Ironically, says Turner, in families and cultures where brothers and sisters are separated at an early age, the Westermarck effect never gets a chance to set in, thereby increasing the chances that siblings will develop an undesirable attraction later in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I always wondered It too because I felt and witnessed the attraction between cousins.
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Sex/story?id=4805439

nutshell, kids who grow up in close proximity — sharing bath and bedrooms, rolling around on the kitchen floor, wrestling and fighting, even hugging and kissing — will develop a strong "positive" sexual aversion to each other when puberty sets in. It's the feeling most of us get when we imagine sex with a sibling, a visceral "yuck."

Ironically, says Turner, in families and cultures where brothers and sisters are separated at an early age, the Westermarck effect never gets a chance to set in, thereby increasing the chances that siblings will develop an undesirable attraction later in life.

The people in question are a brother and sister, who presumably grew up together. They are cousins of the OP.