Tomorrow may be the last time I see my grandmother and I am having a hard time dealing with it

[Anonymous]

Not sure if this the right forum, but my grandmother has not been doing well since my grandfather passed away a couple of years ago. Last year and family revealed to me that she was really ill and now her sickness has progressed to the point where the doctors are saying any day now. I haven't experienced that many deaths in my family as my parents had me at a young age. I'm 30 now, but it's hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that she won't be here too much longer. Also, a teenage relative passed away, so I am dealing with that as well. I always had dreams of my grandparents attending my wedding, being there when I purchased my home, etc. Now it's painful to know that they won't be around for those events.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry OP. All you can do is tell her that you loved her and share with her your favorite memory.

[Anonymous]

Hold her hand, give her permission to move on, tell her you love her. Thank her for being a wonderful grandmother.

And bawl your eyes out.

I'm so sorry.

[Anonymous]

I'm really sorry OP. Spend the day with her. Tell her how much you love her, tell her about your favorite memories of her. Try to focus on cherishing how long you have had her in your life.

I am very sorry about the teenage relative also - that sounds like a tragic event, which carries a different kind of emotional wallop.

Allow yourself to be sidelined by all of this for a while - it's ok.

[Anonymous]

It is probably extra raw because you just experienced a teen relative's death too. Allow yourself to really grieve. The good memories will follow.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I feel really sorry for my boyfriend as we've gotten into a lot of shouting matches over the past week. He said that he's trying to deal the best way he can, but I don't want to take all on my feelings out on him. Of course, I do cry when I'm alone. I just don't know how to handle this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I feel really sorry for my boyfriend as we've gotten into a lot of shouting matches over the past week. He said that he's trying to deal the best way he can, but I don't want to take all on my feelings out on him. Of course, I do cry when I'm alone. I just don't know how to handle this.

OP, as we all learn, there is no right way to handle this. It just is. You will grieve in your own way -- as will you parents and everyone else affected by this -- because your relationship with your grandmother is unique, and thus your situation is unique. You will handle it because you have to. I'm sure it's hard on your relationship with your BF, but that is normal too. Life is like this. It's not all fun and games and great times. The relationships that will mean something to you are the ones that can sustain this kind of hardship.

I'm really sorry you're going through this. It's no fun, I know.

[Anonymous]

So sorry, OP. I've lost both of my grandmothers in the past year and it sucks.

[Anonymous]

How old is your grandmother?

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is your grandmother?

She's in her late 70s.
I enjoyed the time that I was able to spend with her. She's in a better state then I expected, but still it can be any day now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I feel really sorry for my boyfriend as we've gotten into a lot of shouting matches over the past week. He said that he's trying to deal the best way he can, but I don't want to take all on my feelings out on him. Of course, I do cry when I'm alone. I just don't know how to handle this.

OP, as we all learn, there is no right way to handle this. It just is. You will grieve in your own way -- as will you parents and everyone else affected by this -- because your relationship with your grandmother is unique, and thus your situation is unique. You will handle it because you have to. I'm sure it's hard on your relationship with your BF, but that is normal too. Life is like this. It's not all fun and games and great times. The relationships that will mean something to you are the ones that can sustain this kind of hardship.

Thanksfor this. It's what I needed to hear
I'm really sorry you're going through this. It's no fun, I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if this the right forum, but my grandmother has not been doing well since my grandfather passed away a couple of years ago. Last year and family revealed to me that she was really ill and now her sickness has progressed to the point where the doctors are saying any day now. I haven't experienced that many deaths in my family as my parents had me at a young age. I'm 30 now, but it's hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that she won't be here too much longer. Also, a teenage relative passed away, so I am dealing with that as well. I always had dreams of my grandparents attending my wedding, being there when I purchased my home, etc. Now it's painful to know that they won't be around for those events.

Just wanted to say hugs, OP. I understand that feeling of being older and never having had to deal with death. I am 35 and all 4 of my grandparents are alive spanning 80-88. I feel incredibly guilty sometimes around friends who have already lost parents

I'm sorry for your loss.