Nosey Inlaws
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Anonymous
| How do you all handle this? I'm pretty close to my MIL but she asks questions that aren't her business. For instance: How much does her son make, how much did we sell our house for? How much is the house we are looking at? How much for pretty much anything I have or own? It's frustrating. I have decided to start reversing the tables so she can see how it feels and she always pretends like she knows nothing and can't answer anything. I also feel pretty awkward asking even if I'm only doing it to teach her a lesson. How do I handle such personal questions? |
Anonymous
| Well housing questions aren't that personal- it's public info that's out on the web. I have a very open family and we discuss all that you mentioned except for salaries. |
Anonymous
My mom is like this. Sometimes I answer, sometimes I say things like, "We are paid very well" etc. I'm less worried about house prices, since that's public info and not as personal to me somehow. These vague answers usually end the immediate conversation (my mom does understand it's rude to ask but can't help her nosiness), though I know she'll ask again in the future. For my mom, I think one reason she asks is that my aunt is always bragging about my cousins (super tacky stuff like how much cousin's husband's bonus was on a major finance deal he did etc), and she wants to be able to respond in kind. The funny thing is that those cousins are all in very lucrative finance careers, so it's not like any of us make as much as they do for bragging rights anyway. |
Anonymous
| Op here, I agree that it's public info. But I feel like MIL is trying to ascertain how much we qualify for and I also think in a way it's like a bit competitive. She does this with everything. My car, my bag, etc. but if I turn the tables on her....she somehow has memory loss. When I tried to ask her well how much did you pay for your house she claimed she didn't remember. She bought the house 11-12 years ago. |
Anonymous
| "Linda, I've made it a personal policy not to talk about money with people, unless I share a bank account with them." |
Anonymous
Op here, I think this is great except she's going to say that we are family and therefore that policy shouldn't apply. My parents never ask these sort of questions. So I think I thought it was odd but apparently this is normal. |
Anonymous
You: Linda, I've made it a personal policy blah blah Linda: But we're FAMILYYYYYY You: Yes, and I love having you as a mother in law and you're a fabulous grandma to the kids. But this is a boundary we feel is important, so I'm just not going to talk about money with anyone but my spouse. Linda: but but sputter but ... You: Sorry. Anyway ... did you want to come to Jake's baseball game next Sunday? Just repeat your initial statement and stick to it. But be sure she isn't going to turn around and get the info from your husband. |
Anonymous
| Or, just ignore the question entirely. Move on and don't say a word in response. Eventually, she'll get the hint. |
Anonymous
| "Only my accountant knows for sure!" + fake laugh + change subject. Rinse and repeat. As a fallback just start being vague and pretend you don't know or don't remember. |
Anonymous
| Tell her to ask her son. That's what I would do. |
Anonymous
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"We're doing fine, thanks."
"We got a good price for it." "I don't remember." "Why do you ask?" Tight smile, change the subject. |
Anonymous
"But we're FAMILYYYYY" - ain't that the truth. Whenever it's convenient! They use that one like you'd believe their BS. SIL is known for this one. I'm going to puke now. 
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Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
"I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you . . . So last year we made . . . " 
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Anonymous
| Isn't that what family is? |