Kindergarten decision

[Anonymous]

Hi, all. I realize that this topic has been covered quite a bit, but I would appreciate any input on our particular situation. Our son will be turning five a few weeks prior to the cutoff for public kindergarten this fall and we are on the fence about whether to send him. His pre-k teacher says that while she sees no reason to hold him back (she did note how he pronounces certain letters as a very minor concern) she does not feel strongly that he must start kindergarten this year. She thinks that he would be perfectly happy spending another year in pre-k. Our pediatrician is generally not a fan of redshirting and says that unless we have specific concerns (the speech/pronunciation issues are normal in his mind and should resolve soon), he would send him. I would say that our son is just about what we would expect for a child who is four and a half - he is curious, sweet and learning new things every day, including spending some time trying to learn Italian, his father's native language. We have really noticed an increased interest in books and learning these last few months and an improvement in his fine motor skills. His pre-k teacher says that he does very well following instructions and paying attention and gets along well with the other children. I would not say that he is advanced in terms of writing, but that seems normal at this age. As an aside, he is also quite tall for his age - 90th percentile. Adding to our confusion is that our daughter, who is currently in kindergarten, was closer to six when she started (she has a December birthday), so I feel that we are perhaps unfairly comparing our son to her. She was clearly ready for kindergarten and is fairly advanced according to her teacher in a couple of areas, including reading and math. She is great with her brother and loves trying to reinforce the letters/sounds and counting that he learns at school, so we feel that her influence is becoming a very positive thing. I imagine that any advantage is probably minor, but we do find the idea of our son and daughter being only a year apart in school appealing for some reason. On the other hand, this would just increase the gap between my son and our third child, whom we are expecting any day. At the end of the day, we want to do what is best for our son and wish we could come to a decision soon. Apologies for the long, rambling post (I'll blame pregnancy hormones!), but any advice or insight that you all could share would be greatly appreciated.

[Anonymous]

If your son's pre-K teacher sees no reason to hold him back, then don't hold him back.

[Anonymous]

Normally I would suggest you strongly lean towards advising you to hold back a boy with that late of a birthday but there are 0 red flags from your post that would lead anyone to think he wouldn't do just fine in K. Usually the kids who have trouble are either 1. REALLY far behind in terms of academics like they can't understand a 1:1 correspondence in numbers to objects or they don't know their letters or letter sounds or 2. are very squirmy and get disciplined a lot for not being able to sit still, talking too much, being overly silly, not following directions, can't focus or pay attention for more than a few minutes which makes carpet time or lining up, etc. impossible. But if this was an issue you would have probably seen this in pre-K already. Also, with a daughter only a year older I imagine you're familiar with the format of the day and the curriculum and if you thought any of that would be an issue you would have probably raised it in your description of your DS.

I would send him on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Normally I would suggest you strongly lean towards advising you to hold back a boy with that late of a birthday but there are 0 red flags from your post that would lead anyone to think he wouldn't do just fine in K. Usually the kids who have trouble are either 1. REALLY far behind in terms of academics like they can't understand a 1:1 correspondence in numbers to objects or they don't know their letters or letter sounds or 2. are very squirmy and get disciplined a lot for not being able to sit still, talking too much, being overly silly, not following directions, can't focus or pay attention for more than a few minutes which makes carpet time or lining up, etc. impossible. But if this was an issue you would have probably seen this in pre-K already. Also, with a daughter only a year older I imagine you're familiar with the format of the day and the curriculum and if you thought any of that would be an issue you would have probably raised it in your description of your DS.

I would send him on time.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your son's pre-K teacher sees no reason to hold him back, then don't hold him back.

This.

Signed,
Parent of child who we did hold back because there were clear and obvious reasons why he wasn't ready

[Anonymous]

Why not start him and see how it plays out? He can always repeat K if he gets to the end of the year and the teachers feel he is not ready for 1st. But it could go well and then you won't have missed the opportunity to start him on time.

Good luck with the decision making, I know from personal experience how torturous it can be.

[Anonymous]

People hold back even when there are no issues. It just depends on their own preferences and what the local school population trend is like.

[Anonymous]

You are going to hold him back academically so he'll be closer academically to a younger child. You cannot change is age/gap. Your logic makes no sense. Send him. Get him some speech therapy.

[Anonymous]

OP, unless his teachers give you compelling reasons to hold him back, I would not do it. Kids go into K at all sorts of levels. My DD, with a summer bday started K not knowing all her alphabet. She was getting letters confused and writing them backwards. She ended K reading on a second/almost third grade level. So, you really have to give it a try. If it's not the right placement you can always repeat K or pull him out and do another year of pre-k. FWIW, I have an SN child who I did hold back (so he did 2 years of pre-k and entered K at 6 turning 7 later in the year). However, he is grossly immature and has some LD's. So, for him it was the right choice.

[Anonymous]

I didn't read about your younger child before. Are you planning on having a fourth? If not, I'd hold back to keep the age span less between your 2nd and 3rd child if you are in a reasonable affluent school system. There will be several kids held back or advanced in K and so it's no big deal whether you hold or move forward. Either way, the child will fit in.

[Anonymous]

Hold him back. Not sure why this is even up for discussion.

[Anonymous]

Is he going to public school? Wait to enroll him until August when you can better assess his readiness.

I'm usually a fan of holding kids back when there's a legitimate reason. But you don't seem to have any true concerns. He's a younger sibling, so he's used to getting along with older kids generally. How does he do at school with the older kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hold him back. Not sure why this is even up for discussion.

Everyone else would hold him back. It's hard to buck the red shirting tide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hold him back. Not sure why this is even up for discussion.

Hold him back, why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hold him back. Not sure why this is even up for discussion.

Hold him back, why?

NP, but, yes, why? The first poster makes it sound like holding him back is the obvious default option. I completely disagree. The default option is to send him on time. Some parents in your position can articulate specific reasons to hold their child back, but you don't seem to have any particular concern about your child's readiness, and would hold him back simply because he is young. Please don't be misled into believing that redshirting is the norm around here. It's not. It happens, no question, but most "young" kids are sent on time. Your child sounds ready for K, so why wouldn't you send him?