Toddler having rough time adjusting to baby
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Anonymous
| My 19 month old is having a rough time adjusting to his 1 month old baby brother and it's breaking my heart and causing a lot of frustration. DS#2 wants to be held/nurse constantly so I have been wearing him during the day. DS#1 gets upset and tries to push him out of the way so he can snuggle, he's been drinking the breastmilk out of his brothers bottles the moment I set the bottle down, and generally acting out and crying much more often. He had some words before but now all he does is cry mama all the time and grunt/cry for everything. Pediatrician said it was classic regression due to the new sibling. I've been asking my toddler to "help" with the baby, offering extra cuddles, and we still do bedtime and naptime routines with lots of rocking and singing and reading without the baby present. I've tried to maintain our routine but some things have changed- like now relying on Sesame Street in the morning for 30 minutes to pump whereas before we were strictly no TV. Not sure what else I can do at this point. Any advice is appreciated. |
Anonymous
|
Aw it stinks, but it's normal. Sounds like you are doing everything right. My sons are still jealous when the other gets mommy time and they are 5 and 2.
Just remember that he sees baby as competition, and he's not as thrilled about baby as you are. It does get better when a new normal resumes. |
Anonymous
| Having a 19 month old isn't a picnic even without the baby. Sorry OP. Sounds totally normal. Don't feel guilty for using TV. I would try to get toddler outside getting lots of exercise and any activities he can do on his own - coloring, sink play, etc |
Anonymous
| Before having my second, I read a lot of advice about wearing the baby as a way to deal with both kids at the same time. But that didn't work so well for me because I had a snuggler. My son really needed time when the baby was put down and he had my full body for hugs and cuddles. |
Anonymous
|
I'm sorry. It's really hard, but it seems totally normal. I have a 3 month old and a 3.5 year old, and my older kid also went through a rough transition, although he's much older than yours is. I'd say that it's continued to get better with time but that he still isn't totally adjusted and gets angry when I spend too much time with the baby. Honestly, I understand where he's coming from, and I know it's really hard on him. There's just nothing I can do about it beyond what I'm doing.
Know that it will be okay and that you'll get through this. It will take time, though, and patience from everyone. The more you can keep routine and continue any rituals you had or create new ones, the better (like bathtime together, etc.). |
Anonymous
| Aww OP, this pulls at my heartstrings as I felt the same as you -- so guilty towards my oldest, who was exactly 24 months when number 2 arrived. To be honest, not much helped in the early months -- I just did my best trying to give him as much one on one time as I could and did my best to keep his routine as much as possible. I gave him lots of hugs and kisses. At first he was ok but about 2-3 months in he began hitting baby. It was hard! He's now 3 and baby is 1 --- things are WAY better. He's still jealous at times but they play together, baby is on a predictable sleep routine etc. It gets easier. Hang in there and just keep doing your best! Lots of positive reinforcement when he is behaving well. |
Anonymous
| Some advice I received from a nurse soon after delivering my second was to handle the toddlers needs first whenever feasible. The newborn won't remember being left to cry an extra 90 seconds but the toddler will. |
Anonymous
| This is why you don't have a baby while the older one is still a baby. |
Anonymous
| Second lots of outdoor time. Hang in there. |
Anonymous
| 21:29, that was uncalled for. You don't know OP's life circumstances. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
This. |
Anonymous
|
I have 2 children who are 19 months apart (for those who criticize it took us 2.5 years to get pregnant with the first one and 2 months to get pregnant with the second one which is why them are so close in age).
Sometimes I would make a show of taking care of the oldest. For example I would put the baby in the rock n play and then say "baby, I have to take care of Larlo now" and go attend to the eldest. A pp mentioned it that the baby won't remember that you didn't prioritze him. Also when the baby got bigger we made sure there were toys that belonged to the older child that he didn't have to share. |
Anonymous
I know she's complaining about them. |
Anonymous
| You shouldn't have had them so close in age, no wonder. |