Depressed SO

[Anonymous]

My SO is depressed and seeing a therapist currently. It isn't helping and it is just getting worse. He thinks that he's fine and that it will go away, but it's already ruining any relationship we may have had. How do I help? Or can I even help? I am getting more and more frustrated as the weeks go on.

[Anonymous]

You need a therapist, too, if you want this relationship to last. I don't know about your SO's prognosis, but if you want to be around to see if he gets better, you need somewhere to vent your frustration and to find out what you can expect.

[Anonymous]

Agree on you needing therapy to vent if you want to stick it out.

Managing mental illness is really hard and complicated. The fact you SO is seeking therapy is a positive sign. However, sometimes these things get worse before they get better. Depending how long he's been depressed he may not even know what normal feels like.

[Anonymous]

Is he trying medication? Therapy can be helpful for learning coping strategies and working through specific situations, but brain chemistry is what it is. Meds can be life changing.

My husband has battled depression on and off for the 20 years I've know him. It is draining, for him, for me, and for our relationship. We're divorcing now, because he blames me for his unhappiness. Our time apart has made me realize how much of my life was put on hold to try to cater to his needs and his unhappiness.

I'm not saying leave him, but do take steps to take care of yourself and make sure you maintain your own interests and friendships. It's not something that's going to just go away, it's often a life-long situation that will need more or less management at different points.

[Anonymous]

He might just be tired...

[Anonymous]

Thing is, I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and have dealt with it since I was nine. I know nothing I saw will help and that its up to him to recognize and fix what's going on in his brain. You'd think I'd be a little more understanding, but I think because I have been there and back so many times and finally sorted myself out (for the most part) I am just not equipped for dealing with him. I really love him, and I've told him to get help before... But I can't solve this for him. I do have a therapist, and he has heard all about it.

My main concern is being sucked back into the unhealthy mental state. I want him to get better because he deserves to be happy.... And so do I. I just don't know how to support him without losing myself.

[Anonymous]

Take care of yourself first... And good luck! I dated a guy for 2 years with depression issues... Finally decided I couldn't handle it and am now married to a crazy optimist- turns out, that's what I need in a partner to be happy.