Help me make it through this "holiday" with depressed ILs
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Anonymous
| Besides drinking, what do you do to make it through the holiday/s with depressed/spiteful/unhappy ILs? |
Anonymous
| Get out of the house whenever possible. |
Anonymous
|
Retiring with a headache?
Going for a walk? Honestly, if they're always like this, can you limit contact? |
Anonymous
| I leave behind any expectation that I'll have a good time and put on my mask of obliviousness/indifference. |
Anonymous
| meditation? |
Anonymous
I really really really need an obliviousness/indifference make when I am around my family! |
Anonymous
| lowered expectations. |
Anonymous
| Resolve not to go next year, and then remember that this is the last time. |
Anonymous
| Or, the opposite tack--for the time you have to be there, be extra kind and helpful, an interested listener, with no expectations. Think of it as a "day of service" to people who probably need some kindness. NOT easy to do with family and, for me, not sustainable beyond a day. But when I go into family command performances with that frame of mind, I'm less resentful and it goes better for me, whether or not my efforts are appreciated. |
Anonymous
| queue some good music/podcasts/audio books on my ipod and retreat into my headphones while doing something else "productive". |
Anonymous
|
Low expectations helps a TON. I stopped expecting them to be normal and fun on holidays! I started placing little bets with myself on when my MIL would get in her first dig (before I'd taken my first bite of my meal!) or how long it'd take until my SIL turns some conversations that is clearly not about her, into a conversation all about her (we made it about 5 minutes into the meal!).
Now I can almost enjoy myself. I know! It's crazy. But I just stopped expecting them to be fun and it helps immensely. |
Anonymous
| If you and your spouse agree on the ILs behavior, then you can play bingo. Fill in all of the boxes with various reactions/phrases that you expect them to say, and whoever gets 5 in a row wins. What you win is between you and your spouse. GL! |