Breaking up

[Anonymous]

We've been together seven years. Very long story but he said he was going to call the cops on my mother to throw her out because I was angry he was demanding I pay rent for her. He has always wanted to control me. We have nothing in common. But we were trying to make a family despite that I am too old. Just very sad. He doesn't know we're breaking up yet but he crossed a line. Any helpful thoughts for this sad old girl?

[Anonymous]

Mostly confusion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mostly confusion.

My mother lives with us in the house he owns. Sorry. That was not clear. She has mental health issues and tried to kill herself last year.

[Anonymous]

Aw, I'm sorry OP. This sounds like a hard situation for you to be in.

It sounds like you're doing the right thing. Take care of yourself, and your mother. You deserve to have a partner that will respect and support your choices, not try to dictate them. Sending lots of hugs.

[Anonymous]

Divorce or leave if you aren't married. Simple as that

[Anonymous]

Do you have somewhere to go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have somewhere to go?

I mean, he was pulling that card - trying to scare me that I do not have anywhere to go - I don't - but I am way more resourceful and way tougher than him. I'm a pretty cool, very loyal person, his control issues finally became unbearable. He literally said he would call the cops and throw my mother out. I have tried, but I just can't get over that statement. I have too much self respect. That being said I have 1% fertility for my age and really wanted a family, which he did too, but I keep thinking hoe awful it would be to fight over kids since we have very varying ideas of happiness an d what is right. He's s very authoritarian personality; I am very creative - but also very successful.

[Anonymous]

You don't need to start a family with him, it's for the best that you dont. Good for you for getting out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't need to start a family with him, it's for the best that you dont. Good for you for getting out.

My only issue is that I was raised by a single mother - who was a widow - not her choice - and I never wanted to do that. To my kids or myself. I just can't believe he said he'd call the cops on my mom. He's such a petty authoritarian prick. He has no generosity in his soul. I can't believe I stayed with him as my fertility withered. What was I thinking? I have tried to give up negative thinking for Lent but this is too hard to swallow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't need to start a family with him, it's for the best that you dont. Good for you for getting out.

My only issue is that I was raised by a single mother - who was a widow - not her choice - and I never wanted to do that. To my kids or myself. I just can't believe he said he'd call the cops on my mom. He's such a petty authoritarian prick. He has no generosity in his soul. I can't believe I stayed with him as my fertility withered. What was I thinking? I have tried to give up negative thinking for Lent but this is too hard to swallow.

Seriously he called the cops on your MOM???

[Anonymous]

There's always two sides to every story. But if you feel the relationship is going nowhere move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't need to start a family with him, it's for the best that you dont. Good for you for getting out.

My only issue is that I was raised by a single mother - who was a widow - not her choice - and I never wanted to do that. To my kids or myself. I just can't believe he said he'd call the cops on my mom. He's such a petty authoritarian prick. He has no generosity in his soul. I can't believe I stayed with him as my fertility withered. What was I thinking? I have tried to give up negative thinking for Lent but this is too hard to swallow.

Don't throw good time after bad; now that you've made your decision follow through and focus on your next steps. You could meet someone amazing, you never know. It's tough but I'm sure you made the best decisions you could at the time, don't beat yourself up for that now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have somewhere to go?

I mean, he was pulling that card - trying to scare me that I do not have anywhere to go - I don't - but I am way more resourceful and way tougher than him. I'm a pretty cool, very loyal person, his control issues finally became unbearable. He literally said he would call the cops and throw my mother out. I have tried, but I just can't get over that statement. I have too much self respect. That being said I have 1% fertility for my age and really wanted a family, which he did too, but I keep thinking hoe awful it would be to fight over kids since we have very varying ideas of happiness an d what is right. He's s very authoritarian personality; I am very creative - but also very successful.

For goodness sake - could your blessings you don't have kids. Doesn't salvageable relationship wise

[Anonymous]

Yes he did cross a line once he wanted to evict your mother.

Too much conflict of interests here.

You and your mom will be fine.
You have each other and life will be much more pleasant without your boyfriend.

Enjoy the new phase of your lives together!!