Tell me how to back out of sticky situation

[Anonymous]

I made a mistake at work and now I need to find some way out. To give as simple explanation as possible, I have two bosses. One mid-level and one upper level.

A few months ago we had a meeting where mid-level manager was present and upper level was not. I was reporting on project X and said that we needed to switch from vendor A to vendor B due to ongoing problems with vendor A. Mid-level said she'd ask upper level and get back to me. It took weeks for her to send me a terse email with "she said no." I asked mid-level for an explanation, but got an irritated, "I already told you she said no.".

So for the past few months I have been creatively finding ways to work around vendor A, and put systems in place to deal with them. It's not ideal and it was a lot of work, but it should hold until the project is over.

Then there was another meeting with mid-level and she asked about vendor A. Some comments were made by colleagues that implied that I was not doing a good enough job because of some ongoing issues, which were the very ones I brought up months ago, which are caused by vendor A. I lost my temper and let loose a litany of complaints about vendor A, and also about the fact that upper level turned down my request to switch without a good explanation. Mid-level encouraged my rant by asking me questions about A and asking me to detail the problems with A again.

I then realized I'd gone too far by criticizing upper level, so I hastily retracted the rant and said I was working it out and it would all be over soon so it was fine. I asked mid-level to drop it and said I'd just deal with it, hoping no other colleagues would rat me out.

A month went by and I heard nothing. Then a week ago I got another terse email from mid-level saying she had a meeting with upper and upper is willing to switch to vendor B, but only if all my colleagues (3) also switch to vendor B. This has never been a requirement in the past - we have individually dropped vendors from one department and not another many times over the past 10 years I've been there.

Mid-level offered no details, and no explanation for the unusual requirement. She refused to discuss it. She said it would only be discussed at the next meeting, where upper level and said colleagues will be present. And I am not allowed to discuss it with said colleagues before the meeting either. I can get no explanation from anyone.

I'm scared. It's all too weird and I feel like I am being set up.

Moreover, switching vendors at this late date will actually delay completion of the project. It's just too late.

I was going to email everyone and say thanks for considering my request, but I'm afraid it's too late and we will need to go forward with vendor A until the end of the project, and perhaps vendor B could be used on the next project. But now that mid-level has made it seem to upper like I was pushing for a late switch (I wasn't - I just opened my mouth when I should have shut it), I'm afraid upper will be angry with me.

How do I get out of this now? If we switch and the project is delayed, I look bad. I also feel like I pushed upper to a switch she didn't want and she will resent me. The alternative is that I tell them no thanks and look like I pushed for a switch and then changed my mind after mid-level went to all this trouble (so she implied) to get the switch. Advice, please? Other than start looking for a new job?

[Anonymous]

Ok, long thread. Just go to this meeting with talking points. Pros and cons of vendor A and b. Cost of dropping current vendor. Seek feedback. Be calm.

[Anonymous]

Without knowing more, I would probably document-- send your middle an email say, you know I raised the following concerns before, but at that point the decision was to stick with vendor A and I'm concerned that switching now will delay us, and just plan to go to the meeting with pros and cons of a switch.

[Anonymous]

Wow that's complicated.

[Anonymous]

Op, you are allowed to change your mind and reassess. Had they listened to you, the project would be doing better. Tell them it's too Late now but in the future they shed consider vendor b.