What age did you explain ethnic slurs to your children

[Anonymous]

I was at an event and there was discussion regarding the use of the "N" word. I am confident that my children do not know what it means - but also feel the need to introduce them to the concept of ethnic slurs and curse words so that they are not naïve and use it because someone else is or they heard the word and do not really understand it.

I asked my children after the event what curse words they know and my 7 YO knew a lot more than my 9 YO (not a surprise given their personalities)

Also - is there any resources on how to discuss both the use of curse words and ethic slurs?

[Anonymous]

When someone called my husband a rag head in front of my 8 year old son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When someone called my husband a rag head in front of my 8 year old son.

Amen. OP sounds white. (OK, probably white. Likely sheltered.)

[Anonymous]

Don't just talk about racial and ethnic slurs. The conversations about the fact that all human beings have inherent dignity and respect should start early, and continue regularly, along with making sure your kids know they shouldn't call "anyone" any kind of name. Not dumb, not stupid, not fat, not stringbean, not anything. And make sure you don't call others names in front of them. If they hear this message enough, it will naturally make them more adverse to using racial and ethnic slurs when they start to hear them.

Here's a good resource to start with. http://www.civilrights.org/publications/reports/talking_to_our_children/?referrer=https://www.google.com/ And I really like the Teaching Tolerance website, and its Facebook Feed. It's geared toward teachers, but it's good for parents, too. http://www.tolerance.org/

When they come home with questions or comments, help frame it for them in context of your values (which I hope and will assume are ones of inclusiveness and respect).

[Anonymous]

Make sure you kids have friends of all races and SES.

When they say racist stuff, don't freak out... Have a conversation.

[Anonymous]

How about starting with "retarded"?

[Anonymous]

The slurs probably started at home and its normal for the kids. You cannot fault kids for what they learn at home due to poor parenting. My 7 year old has no clue and if he did, he knows better than to repeat them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about starting with "retarded"?

Retarded isn't actually a slur. It may be an archaic diagnostic term and politically incorrect now, but it's not the same thing as "nigger" or "wop." It would be more like the word "Negro" or "Oriental." Neither of those are slurs, either, just out-of-favor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was at an event and there was discussion regarding the use of the "N" word. I am confident that my children do not know what it means - but also feel the need to introduce them to the concept of ethnic slurs and curse words so that they are not naïve and use it because someone else is or they heard the word and do not really understand it.

I asked my children after the event what curse words they know and my 7 YO knew a lot more than my 9 YO (not a surprise given their personalities)

Also - is there any resources on how to discuss both the use of curse words and ethic slurs?

Exactly how do you plan on teaching this?

Coming up with a list of words and saying don't say this to or about abc because of xyz?

They say it or hear it you discuss it. Contrary to what some think making sure your kids have friends of different races, SES backgrounds s, and cute tolerance books and kits does not stop them from using the words themselves.

[Anonymous]

When my son was 3 we had a discussion about why we don't root for the Redskins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When someone called my husband a rag head in front of my 8 year old son.

Amen. OP sounds white. (OK, probably white. Likely sheltered.)

This is an example...

[Anonymous]

When I was about 8, I became aware that people around me were using "black" to connote a whole bunch of negative traits. I don't remember who -- probably classmates. I announced to my parents with great certainty that, henceforth, people should use the word "negro" because I thought it sounded nicer (I didn't know the history of it). That's when my parents taught me about the words we use to describe race/color and how people use them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was about 8, I became aware that people around me were using "black" to connote a whole bunch of negative traits. I don't remember who -- probably classmates. I announced to my parents with great certainty that, henceforth, people should use the word "negro" because I thought it sounded nicer (I didn't know the history of it). That's when my parents taught me about the words we use to describe race/color and how people use them.

re: "I thought it sounded nicer" -- I mean, I thought it only described race/color without any negative or positive connotations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When someone called my husband a rag head in front of my 8 year old son.

Amen. OP sounds white. (OK, probably white. Likely sheltered.)

I don't know if this is fair, although clearly OP is in a privileged majority if this is even a question you have to ask.

But for us, no age or number - first address it when it comes up (overhear it from others, media, direct at selves, someone we know, etc).

[Anonymous]

I remember being enlightened in my hs freshman American history class. I did know the n word, but didn't know WOP, spic, etc. I was probably sheltered though and didn't know any racists (still don't).