Is this an unreasonable bday invite request?

[Anonymous]

I am having a birthday party for my first grader, it is at a venue that is not cheap ($30 per extra kid) but that is open to the public. The entire grade was invited to be inclusive. I didn't mention siblings on the invitation at all, but I thought the default is that only the kid in the grade was invited.

One mom e-mailed me to ask if her kid's older sibling could come too. She said if not, one parent could stay with the birthday party invitee and one could be with the other kid. So, wait? You have both parents available but you would rather that I pay for your other kid to come too? I'm sure all the other parents would like that too. I wouldn't think twice if you were a single parent, if your husband needed to work, or if our kids were close friends (and so had been invited to your house before and had met the older sibling). Or even if you had invited my kid to your kid's party (okay, maybe the invitation was lost...maybe).

I don't know what to do. It's not like there is a party number limit. It's not like I'm not inviting any siblings (I have invited two siblings--one is from a close family friend who will be solo parenting at the time, and other sibling is friends with my older child and would keep him entertained during the party). But, I feel kind of cheesed off because well I didn't plan to invite all siblings because that would more than double my party numbers.

What would you do?

[Anonymous]

Easy answer.

"Sorry, but we cannot accomodate uinvited siblings to this party. Glad you husband is able to stay with older sibling so larla can attend."

[Anonymous]

I would tell them, "Sorry, the sibling can't come." As their children get older, they will come to realize that they need to divide and conquer more often than they expected.

[Anonymous]

So essentially her other kid would be there with the other parent, at the same venue? Why does that bother you? Arent they part of the public that it's open to?

[Anonymous]

I would stick to the list only, and not get into a "whose situation is worse" type thing if other people ask the same thing (you mentioned single moms, working parents etc) because you don't want to be in a position of having to decide where to draw the line.
You already drew it with who you invited and stick to it.

Just say "I'm sorry, I can't accommodate siblings, we hope Jack can still come". No further explanation needed

[Anonymous]

Just say the event is open to the public and the entry fee for the sinling is $30.
Wtf is wrong with people? Doesn't everyone split up and one takes one to the BD and the other stays with the other kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So essentially her other kid would be there with the other parent, at the same venue? Why does that bother you? Arent they part of the public that it's open to?

Because they want OP to pay when it's open to the public and could pay themselves is my understanding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Easy answer.

"Sorry, but we cannot accomodate uinvited siblings to this party. Glad you husband is able to stay with older sibling so larla can attend."

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So essentially her other kid would be there with the other parent, at the same venue? Why does that bother you? Arent they part of the public that it's open to?

Because they want OP to pay when it's open to the public and could pay themselves is my understanding

OK, so OP says, "sorry, but we have a space limit within the party group. The rest of the place is open to the public so feel free to join but there's an admission fee."

Not to be rude, but this question is posted every week. I don't get why it is so difficult for people to just say things like what I outlined above. Or, dude I just did for my five-year-old son's birthday invitation at a similar place. Put a note in the electronic invite that says "sorry, but due to space limitations no siblings are allowed this time around."

I genuinely don't get why this is a such an issue for people.

[Anonymous]

She doesn't know that it's $30/person. It may be x amount up to a certain number and you have room. In which case, adding the sibling doesn't affect the cost. It was just a question, and she's letting you know it's no big deal; they have a backup plan. Lighten up, say sorry but no, and move on. Treat it as inquiry, not rudeness - you'll be a happier person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So essentially her other kid would be there with the other parent, at the same venue? Why does that bother you? Arent they part of the public that it's open to?

Because they want OP to pay when it's open to the public and could pay themselves is my understanding

OK, so OP says, "sorry, but we have a space limit within the party group. The rest of the place is open to the public so feel free to join but there's an admission fee."

Not to be rude, but this question is posted every week. I don't get why it is so difficult for people to just say things like what I outlined above. Or, dude I just did for my five-year-old son's birthday invitation at a similar place. Put a note in the electronic invite that says "sorry, but due to space limitations no siblings are allowed this time around."

I genuinely don't get why this is a such an issue for people.

I'm going to have to save that exact line. Perfect reply.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she has one of these doofus husbands that can't figure out how to change a diaper or put a kid to bed.

Anyway, just tell her there is a limit for the party but the place is open to the public. If you feel so inclined tell her there will be extra cake available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't know that it's $30/person. It may be x amount up to a certain number and you have room. In which case, adding the sibling doesn't affect the cost. It was just a question, and she's letting you know it's no big deal; they have a backup plan. Lighten up, say sorry but no, and move on. Treat it as inquiry, not rudeness - you'll be a happier person.

OP here. That is a good point. It may be that she doesn't know the cost (if you wanted to look, it is listed on the website). But I think if the whole grade is clearly invited (when the invites come via the school, everyone knows the whole grade has been invited), you'd know the chances that adding an extra kid at no charge is pretty much nil.

Yes you are right, I don't think the mom's intention was to be rude, it is just an inquiry. It's just a request that makes me feel uncomfortable. And I am venting a bit about it. I am thinking about saying yes, though I feel weird about not extending that same courtesy to all the families.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't say yes!
I'd just be honest - we invited the whole class, so can't include siblings. However, the venue is open to the public at the same time and I believe is $30/kid. Bobby is of course welcome to join us for pizza and cake at the end. Hope Jonny can make it! Hope to see you at scho sometime soon. Best, jakes mom

[Anonymous]

"I'm sorry but we cannot add any additional people to the birthday party package. FunZone does have open play at the same time if your husband and son want to take advantage of that during the party time. Feel free to drop off your child too if you'd rather. We'll be in an enclosed space and have plenty of supervision"