Children fighting about sharing Legos
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Anonymous
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My children are quiet, mellow kids who play well together and never fight. Which is why yesterday's huge blowout, screaming match between them came as a shock. Apparently DC1 had dismantled DC2's Lego structure to re-use the platform, claiming that DC2 had used "his" bricks in the first place. DC1 received many more Lego sets than his little sister, due to the age difference, but the problem is that all the bricks have been mixed up for ages in bulk bins. They're not interested in building the sets back again, they just want to build their own ideas, so sorting them back into sets seems like a waste of time. Perhaps I should have them sorted by size and color in little drawers? And then what to do about sharing? Each kid has his or her drawers? Or do I establish rules about not dismantling structures? Then what if they run out of platforms or pieces? Any advice is greatly appreciated! |
Anonymous
| How old are they? This is prime territory for letting them work it out themselves. |
Anonymous
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They are 10 and 5. I was thinking they needed a bit of guidance, since they appeared to care about this so much... |
Anonymous
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You did not state how old your kids are.
Regardless of age, no dismantling allowed without permission. You don't need a base to build with legos. It would probably be a good idea to have, maybe 4, two for each of them. If kids are 6 years and older, all other "rules" are to be figured out between them. |
Anonymous
+1. You can destroy your own creations at will, but you may not dismantle your siblings creations without asking them first. In our house, we also add that once the initial set is built and dismantled, all legos are community property. Other than that, when I start to hear "MOOOOOOM!!!!" I (as calmly as humanly possible) remind them to work it out themselves. |
Anonymous
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Do not sort them by size and colors in little drawers. Really. They will just get all mixed up again very quickly and there is no way your kids will re-sort them. We have stacking bins with pull out drawers:
1 very large dump bin 1 bin for holding instructions/books 1 bin for larger pieces (eg, platforms, etc) so they don't get in the way when you are hunting through the dump bin 1 bin for special/smaller pieces that would get completely lost in the dump bin. So far that works for us. |
Anonymous
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Sets are great for the initial build and learning to follow instructions, but part of the lure for Legos is being creative and deciding what to build the next time. With that said, I agree with the PP who said that the initial build goes to whoever got the Legos as a gift (may or may not invite siblings to help build it). I've also said that if someone else says they want to build the set, they need the opportunity to do it before the set gets mixed in with everything else.
Because there's a huge discrepancy in your children's ages, there's more of a reason to step into this one. DC1 is 10, old enough to understand that it's communal property, so dismantling DC2's structure isn't appropriate. Had it been the reverse, I would suggest a calm discussion about respecting sibling's hard work, but the child who erred is 10, I would remind him that he's settling an example for his sister and he doesn't want her to turn around and do the same thing to them. I would also suggest telling both of them that they need to learn to resolve these types of issues for themselves, so the next time they argue, you will set the timer for 3 minutes, and if they haven't resolved it, you will put the Legos away for the rest of the day. |
Anonymous
| Whenever this happens in my house I simply tell my children they can work it together or I'll just donate the toy. They work it out. |