If you are a "high" drive person married to a "low" drive person

[Anonymous]

Assume you realize that some type of compromise must be reached and you are happy with everything else in the relationship. Is once a week enough for you?

[Anonymous]

What's with all the high/low drive posts lately?

[Anonymous]

Yes, once a week is enough to keep me sane assuming the once a week is meaningful. If the once a week is still just duty sex, no. My sex drive has slowed enough when I hit 40 that I probably would like sex only 3-4x a week (a few years ago, 2x a day would have been ideal) so 1x a week is enough of a compromise.

We tried doing it 2x a week, but my spouse isn't really into it more than once. I would rather have good sex once a week than average sex twice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's with all the high/low drive posts lately?

+1

Is this one obsessed person, or is this really a thing?

[Anonymous]

omfg. Not another post about this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's with all the high/low drive posts lately?

+1

Is this one obsessed person, or is this really a thing?

I suspect this is an issue in a significant minority if not the majority of marriages. But the board tilts heavily female. If you ask a group of married men with kids whether there is a mismatch is sex drive between them and their wives, their answer will range between yes and hell yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's with all the high/low drive posts lately?

OP here. It's hard to tell what the male posters mean by "sex starved." I was wondering if they meant no sex ever, once a month, once a week, etc.

Just curious because we are a once a week couple and I don't want more than that but I don't want my husband to be unhappy either. I think he would prefer more but he doesn't push it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's with all the high/low drive posts lately?

+1

Is this one obsessed person, or is this really a thing?

I suspect this is an issue in a significant minority if not the majority of marriages. But the board tilts heavily female. If you ask a group of married men with kids whether there is a mismatch is sex drive between them and their wives, their answer will range between yes and hell yes.

Yes, but most of them would realize that DCUM already has way too many threads on this and would not start another. There is nothing more to say on this issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's with all the high/low drive posts lately?

OP here. It's hard to tell what the male posters mean by "sex starved." I was wondering if they meant no sex ever, once a month, once a week, etc.

Just curious because we are a once a week couple and I don't want more than that but I don't want my husband to be unhappy either. I think he would prefer more but he doesn't push it.

Well it sounds like these sex starved men complain bitterly about it nonstop to their overworked wives. So I bet you'd know if he was unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assume you realize that some type of compromise must be reached and you are happy with everything else in the relationship. Is once a week enough for you?

For heaven's sake, you have a OCD about this. YOU are the problem not your spouse. Now get of this thread of constant return and reruns!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assume you realize that some type of compromise must be reached and you are happy with everything else in the relationship. Is once a week enough for you?

For heaven's sake, you have a OCD about this. YOU are the problem not your spouse. Now get of this thread of constant return and reruns!

I don't get why people log onto a thread just to shout people down. Like, I don't care about alimony issues, but I don't go to the thread just to tell people to shut up. I assume the people doing so here are low drive and are sick of hearing that may be an issue.

To answer OPs question - once a week would be a doable compromise, assuming as someone said upthread, it was an engaged session.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Well it sounds like these sex starved men complain bitterly about it nonstop to their overworked wives. So I bet you'd know if he was unhappy.

cue the link to the mommy martyr thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assume you realize that some type of compromise must be reached and you are happy with everything else in the relationship. Is once a week enough for you?

For heaven's sake, you have a OCD about this. YOU are the problem not your spouse. Now get of this thread of constant return and reruns!

I don't get why people log onto a thread just to shout people down. Like, I don't care about alimony issues, but I don't go to the thread just to tell people to shut up. I assume the people doing so here are low drive and are sick of hearing that may be an issue.

To answer OPs question - once a week would be a doable compromise, assuming as someone said upthread, it was an engaged session.

LOL Yes, the topic is lame, but terminology is eye-opening!

[Anonymous]

Once a week is adequate. Of course that really means 3 x per month when you account for the week she's on her period. She doesn't want me anywhere near that area when it's that time.

To echo previous posters, quality (and enthusiasm) helps determine the level of satisfaction with this frequency.

I've given up trying to push for more than this. We've settled on this compromise number by default. Like most compromises, neither one of us is really happy with it. She'd be happier with even less and I'd rather have more. And, yes, it has affected the way I feel about her. I love her, and I'm not going elsewhere for it. But I don't love her the way I used to.

[Anonymous]

Jesus christ just search this forum. I have never seen such a large collection of sex starved crazy people in my life.

A third of you are whiners, half of the rest should get divorced (yes yes its unfair but life is a long road) and the remaining people are cheating (and should also get divorced).

Sitting around being miserable for YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS is a choice. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, ACCEPT REALITY, STOP POSTING FIFTY THREADS A DAY ABOUT IT HERE.