Regrets with friends

[Vsubois19]

If you had any regrets with how you treated a friend this past year, what would they be? My biggest regret is unfriending someone without talking with him first. I know I hurt him.

[Anonymous]

It wasn't this past year, but a few years ago I had a friend who's fiance passed away. She was very, very depressed and leaned on me very much. At first I was very supportive, but at a certain point I didn't know how to be the friend she needed at that time. She got REALLY angry at me for not meeting her expectations as a friend. She sent me tons of super long texts messages saying what an awful person and friend I was. They got to be really off the wall and scary. We lived in the same neighborhood, and I was worried she would physically come after me, she was that angry and to be honest, unstable. At some point, I just stopped responding. She moved away shortly after and I never spoke to her again. I felt really awful, given what she was going through, but conflicted because I was afraid of her and couldn't continue being her punching bag.

[Anonymous]

I'm shy and introverted and I don't reach out to friends to ask if they want to hang out. I always assume people don't want to hang out with me and am (pleasantly) surprised when they ask me to hang out.

It's finally hit home in the last year or so that this makes my friends feel like I don't want to be friends with them. I'm so afraid of annoying them with requests to get dinner or grab drinks that I've instead alienated them by being so standoffish.

[Anonymous]

I wasn't there for a friend at a time of great need when she made it clear she needed support. It was 10 years ago, but I still feel guilty (and try to live differently and be less selfish now).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm shy and introverted and I don't reach out to friends to ask if they want to hang out. I always assume people don't want to hang out with me and am (pleasantly) surprised when they ask me to hang out.

It's finally hit home in the last year or so that this makes my friends feel like I don't want to be friends with them. I'm so afraid of annoying them with requests to get dinner or grab drinks that I've instead alienated them by being so standoffish.

This is me too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It wasn't this past year, but a few years ago I had a friend who's fiance passed away. She was very, very depressed and leaned on me very much. At first I was very supportive, but at a certain point I didn't know how to be the friend she needed at that time. She got REALLY angry at me for not meeting her expectations as a friend. She sent me tons of super long texts messages saying what an awful person and friend I was. They got to be really off the wall and scary. We lived in the same neighborhood, and I was worried she would physically come after me, she was that angry and to be honest, unstable. At some point, I just stopped responding. She moved away shortly after and I never spoke to her again. I felt really awful, given what she was going through, but conflicted because I was afraid of her and couldn't continue being her punching bag.

If you feel she was that unstable don't second guess yourself. You did the right thing. I let go of a friend who went through a divorce. She told her nutty husband that I was giving her advice. He actually called me with threats.

No regrets dumping her.

[Anonymous]

I regret NOT telling a friend the reasons I dumped her. She was a user. Used me for food, drink, babysitting service. Her so called real friends were trashy wannabes like herself. I met one friend of hers who was also her neighbor. A nice lady, but she talked poorly about her...how boring she was...apparently not as sophisticated as she. I knew this was how she talked about me, best thing I did was dump her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I regret NOT telling a friend the reasons I dumped her. She was a user. Used me for food, drink, babysitting service. Her so called real friends were trashy wannabes like herself. I met one friend of hers who was also her neighbor. A nice lady, but she talked poorly about her...how boring she was...apparently not as sophisticated as she. I knew this was how she talked about me, best thing I did was dump her.

Hum. That's pretty nasty. Enough that you dumped the crap friend, you don't need to rub her face in it.

[Anonymous]

I have a life- long friend who always seems to go MIA during big life events of mine. I'm sorry I haven't had the guts to bring it up for a real discussion.

[Anonymous]

I said goodbye to a friend/husband who abused me emotionally for years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I regret NOT telling a friend the reasons I dumped her. She was a user. Used me for food, drink, babysitting service. Her so called real friends were trashy wannabes like herself. I met one friend of hers who was also her neighbor. A nice lady, but she talked poorly about her...how boring she was...apparently not as sophisticated as she. I knew this was how she talked about me, best thing I did was dump her.

Hum. That's pretty nasty. Enough that you dumped the crap friend, you don't need to rub her face in it.

She and her husband were big users. I over heard her talking to her husband about a couple who invited them to dinner. She couldn't stand them, but since they were having steak and lobster she was happily going, lol.
Yes I should have rubbed it in her face, who knows maybe it wouldn't have helped her down the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shy and introverted and I don't reach out to friends to ask if they want to hang out. I always assume people don't want to hang out with me and am (pleasantly) surprised when they ask me to hang out.

It's finally hit home in the last year or so that this makes my friends feel like I don't want to be friends with them. I'm so afraid of annoying them with requests to get dinner or grab drinks that I've instead alienated them by being so standoffish.

This is me too.

Me too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I said goodbye to a friend/husband who abused me emotionally for years.

And I wished I had done it years earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't there for a friend at a time of great need when she made it clear she needed support. It was 10 years ago, but I still feel guilty (and try to live differently and be less selfish now).

I did the same thing and I got dumped by her. I've learned my lesson.