3 yo throwing toys

[Anonymous]

My 3 yo DS is relatively well behaved but he seems to throw toys when he is mad and lately this has spread to throwing toys at his 1 yo sister. I haven't used much discipline besides time outs (on a chair in our kitchen for 2 minutes) but that doesn't seem to be dissuading him. I'd prefer prevention or rewards or anything, including appropriate punishments that work. Any ideas for how to discourage this behavior or help him create alternatives?

[Anonymous]

If you throw a toy, you lose it (for a certain amount of time).

[Anonymous]

Present alternative, safe way to express anger (e.g., hit pillow away from sister) and praise when you see him use that option.

[Anonymous]

Thrown toys go in "time out" on a high up shelf in our house. Length of time varies on the severity of the offense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thrown toys go in "time out" on a high up shelf in our house. Length of time varies on the severity of the offense.

I agree with this.

He sounds jealous of the 1 year old. Are you able to spend any daily, one-on-one time with him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you throw a toy, you lose it (for a certain amount of time).

This. And you can warm him that if he throws a toy and it hits his sister, it's gone for good. While you are taking it away, very calmly acknowledge that he is mad but that when mad, we use our words, we do not throw toys.

-Mom of a DS who is 17 months older than DD. This worked like a charm.

[Anonymous]

^ "warn" not warm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you throw a toy, you lose it (for a certain amount of time).

This. And you can warm him that if he throws a toy and it hits his sister, it's gone for good. While you are taking it away, very calmly acknowledge that he is mad but that when mad, we use our words, we do not throw toys.

-Mom of a DS who is 17 months older than DD. This worked like a charm.

Nanny here. I do the same thing, but I changed it last position. If the toy hits anyone, it's gone for good. The little girl started throwing at me when she realized that throwing at her sister meant her toys left.

[Anonymous]

OP here. What if the kid throws stuff they don't care about that much, like a random piece of fake food. Is taking it away really that much of a lesson?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. What if the kid throws stuff they don't care about that much, like a random piece of fake food. Is taking it away really that much of a lesson?

He'll care when it goes and doesn't come back.

You can also take away other privileges he likes like ipad time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you throw a toy, you lose it (for a certain amount of time).

This. And you can warm him that if he throws a toy and it hits his sister, it's gone for good. While you are taking it away, very calmly acknowledge that he is mad but that when mad, we use our words, we do not throw toys.

-Mom of a DS who is 17 months older than DD. This worked like a charm.

Nanny here. I do the same thing, but I changed it last position. If the toy hits anyone, it's gone for good. The little girl started throwing at me when she realized that throwing at her sister meant her toys left.

Ha! Diabolical three year old.

But, yes, a thrown toy goes in time out immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. What if the kid throws stuff they don't care about that much, like a random piece of fake food. Is taking it away really that much of a lesson?

Well, yes, it is, in the sense that he will learn that throwing = loss of thing thrown. Also, in cases like that, I would take away all the play food. If you throw one block, you lose all the blocks. If you throw one crayon, you lose all the crayons. And we put them on a high shelf where they are visible but out of reach.

On the flip side, praise him when you see him playing nicely with his sister. Give him one-on-one attention when you can. Build up the positive side of things when you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. What if the kid throws stuff they don't care about that much, like a random piece of fake food. Is taking it away really that much of a lesson?

Well, yes, it is, in the sense that he will learn that throwing = loss of thing thrown. Also, in cases like that, I would take away all the play food. If you throw one block, you lose all the blocks. If you throw one crayon, you lose all the crayons. And we put them on a high shelf where they are visible but out of reach.

On the flip side, praise him when you see him playing nicely with his sister. Give him one-on-one attention when you can. Build up the positive side of things when you can.

If he doesn't care about it, so throws it, you need to purge everything he doesn't care about. If it's a siblings toy which is thrown, he has to have something else removed.

[Anonymous]

Kids that throw things get to play with soft toys, cloth baby toys, cloth books, a washcloth. A full day of limiting what they can play with works. Doesn't take long for kids to figure out it's no fun to sit and play with baby stuff.

[Anonymous]

We do the opposite in our house. There are no time outs.
More time together and hugs helps. Something along the line of "let me check on ABC and i'll be right back" or "let's see if your sister wants to join us in a group hug."