Inlaws 50th anniversary, What to do?

[Anonymous]

My inlaws, who I love, will be married for 50 years this fall. They live out of state, down south. The rest of the family, who I'm not close with, is up in New England and are elderly. My ILs would love a big party with extended family, but we just can't afford that. Although they might gladly foot the bill. Where would we have it? What do most people do for their parents big wedding anniversaries? DH and I want to do something, just not sure what!

[Anonymous]

We had a big party at a restaurant with a banquet hall. Lots of people traveled.

[Anonymous]

DH is currently working with his sibs to plan their parents 50th. Current plan is for a party in a room in a local restaurant with lots of friends and family (my ILs do like large affairs) Which is similar what my parents did for my grandparents way back in the day.

My aunt and uncle had their 50th a few years ago. The family set up a family party/cookout at a relative's house--a surprise to the happy couple, who thought they were just coming by to visit their nephew. It was a family/close friends affair, so not too big, but people did travel to attend, so it was nice to have everyone together in one place, which does not happen often.

[Anonymous]

I would ask your ILs what they want. If what they really want is a party with all the family who are al in New England, then that should be the goal. If you can't afford it but they can and are happy to, your gift can be all the planning - finding a place and a weekend and somewhere for you and them to stay, choosing the menu and making any other decisions. Then all they have to do is show up and enjoy and pay the bill; that is still a gift.

[Anonymous]

When my grandparents had their 50th we all rented cabins in the Poconos for a long weekend. Such good memories of that trip. I might have been like 8 or 9 but it really stands out to me.

[Anonymous]

We used a service that sends storks to houses after a new baby. Instead of a strok, they put out a sign that sai happy anniversary and 50 pink flamingos. Ten a week later, they came by and picked them up. My parents loved it.

[Anonymous]

LOVE the flamingo and the party idea! LOVE that you have great ILs to celebrate, OP. Enjoy whatever you plan for them - they will love it.

[Anonymous]

We had a large-ish dinner (about 35 people) at a local restaurant. All the adult children helped pay for it.

[Anonymous]

Also, not sure if this is a thing here, but in Canada where I'm from you can submit a request to the Prime Minister's office for a letter of congratulations. My mum did it for my grandparents (sent in the request) and they were tickled pink. Maybe the president's office does the same? It's a great momento.

[Anonymous]

A big trip is a popular idea. Like a family cruise trip or a beach house or a cabin for a week. That's what we're doing for my parents 40th next year. We will all pay our own way because my parents make more money than us and we have young children.

For my inlaws we threw them a huge party in their backyard for their 30th and had about 60 people there. Inlaws were very surprised. We had it catered by BBQ and had a replica cake of their wedding cake done.

For my grandparent's 65th, all the siblings (6) rented out a large restaurant and had a live band and everything. It was only feasible because there were so many children who split the bill. Large wedding cake, movie of them through the years and we had a church blessing (which meant the most to my grandparents). Even though everything was paid for, alcohol wasn't included (there was a bar downstairs at the restaurant you could order from) and lots of bitching was heard from my grandparent's siblings and my parents' alcoholic cousins that alcohol wasn't included.

[Anonymous]

I like 17:11's answer.

I remembered Mom and Dad throwing a big 50th party for my aunt and uncle when I was young, so thought they'd want the same. Glad I asked -- they said they did NOT want a party, in no uncertain terms. We went on a cruise instead, just the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would ask your ILs what they want. If what they really want is a party with all the family who are al in New England, then that should be the goal. If you can't afford it but they can and are happy to, your gift can be all the planning - finding a place and a weekend and somewhere for you and them to stay, choosing the menu and making any other decisions. Then all they have to do is show up and enjoy and pay the bill; that is still a gift.

I'm with 17:11 too!