Favortism - how do you not let it bother you?

[Anonymous]

I'm on a team with very poor management. Though we all work on the same project, certain people are given the cool trips and plum assignments (not based on seniority at all - just who is best friends with the manager). I have only been there four months and am ready to leave. It is difficult to be around the main person getting the plum assignments - she thinks that everyone is her friend and talks non-stop about all the cool things she gets to do and exotic locations she will get to visit. It is like someone talking constantly about their birthday party, that you have not been invited to.

I would like to hang in there until October, when this contract is likely to end - but I am keeping my eyes open for other jobs since there are many openings in my field.

Any helpful thoughts? Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I do know the correct spelling of favoritism, and it is bothering me that I can't edit it.

[Anonymous]

I put a post-it note in my desk drawer that says, "It's a widget factory. Care less."

[Anonymous]

My office has clear favoritism as well. Several of us and our managers were told no promotions this year. Magically- the golden child got a promotion even though it was far too early.

It sucks. We just keep our nose to the grindstone. Do our best. Learn as much as we can from the job. Gain as many skills as possible. And constantly look for the next step.

You can make it to October. Ignore this person. Do what you can to make connections, gain skills, and set yourself up for the future. If you really move on in less than a year it will be such a small blip in your career.

[Anonymous]

I hate to say it, but some schools of thought suggest that you're supposed to favor your stars or risk them leaving.

If they're producing, then they earned it. Take it as incentive, poor attitudes are very noticeable.

[Anonymous]

I think of that as something kids do - count how much better other people have things. I've never been anyone's favorite so would never expect to. But just put up with it until your end date if it hurts your feelings OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate to say it, but some schools of thought suggest that you're supposed to favor your stars or risk them leaving.

If they're producing, then they earned it. Take it as incentive, poor attitudes are very noticeable.

Not true. I've worked in places where the favorites were favorites because of personal friendships they had with the supervisors.

There are ways of rewarding results without appearing to favor people based on personal bias. A good manager knows how to do that.

The problem with setting a clear example that one person (who happens to have a personal friendship with the boss) gets special treatment is that it serves as a disincentive for other potential stars to rise. So you actually foster a sense of complacency in the rest of your staff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think of that as something kids do - count how much better other people have things. I've never been anyone's favorite so would never expect to. But just put up with it until your end date if it hurts your feelings OP.

Nonsense. It's completely reasonable and perfectly adult to look around and notice that you are not being treated fairly and your options are limited because of personal bias and explicit (unfounded) favoritism.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

For a bit more context, they are drinking buddies and text each other all day long. I would call them best friends.

The favored one is not a high performer, and uses her connection with the boss for favors and special treatment. Magically, she gets whatever she asks for, while the rest of us have to go through special channels.