Elderly MIL passed away. How do I help spouse cope?

[Anonymous]

We got the phone call early this morning and I just feel helpless. Spouse hasn't seen her in 2 years as she is overseas. We had our first child last year and literally just booked our tickets yesterday to visit. His father passed away years ago so now neither of his parents met our child and I am heartbroken for him. I know it was important to him. He doesn't really like to talk about feelings so i just don't know how I can help him.

[Anonymous]

So sorry for your loss.

Be prepared that he may become emotional, many " non emotional guys" do at the loss of their mothers.

Also prepare yourself of talk about wanting to move back to the home country to raise the kids.

Be there with an extra pat on the back a shoulder squeeze, that extra cup of coffee.

If needed help him make plans for traveling for the funeral-if he needs to or wants to stay longer than you can be supportive of that.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes you help just by being his family. Just by keeping on keeping on and being a stable base.

[Anonymous]

My DH and I were married and he lost his mom before our kids were born. I know he wishes she had known them. He was very sad and emotional.

I agree about the extra tender loving care for DH. And sex. I know that sounds crazy but it is relaxing and shows love and is a way to care for him.

Talk about his mom in the coming months and years. Say her name. Tell your kids about her.