Medication, is it time?

[Anonymous]

I need some feedback or reassurance or a kick in the butt from DCUM. My DS9 with mild/moderate ADHS is having trouble at school. He's easily distracted, off task, and sometimes (mostly inadvertently, sometimes intentionally) distracting to other students. DS has no learning issues (other than ADHD), has a highly gifted IQ and is easily working about one to two years ahead of the curriculum in most areas.

He's just in trouble a lot the day-- separated from other students to complete work, working slowly because he drifts off, or the opposite (hyper focused) working intensely on something interesting and having trouble shifting gears. DS has some social problems- difficulty perceiving the larger picture of a situation or applying a social lesson to a different situation.

DS says he feels anxious at school now, because instead of learning, he's just thinking of staying out of trouble. Now it's escalated to where the other kids are tattling (telling on him for spacing off during work time, even when it's not disruptive to them).

I've avoided meds because there isn't much research into potential long term side effects. This from a reputable study that I could dig up, but will spare you. I'm concerned about DS socially-- I think he gets a bad rap, some of it earned and some of it part of a negative dynamic. He's becoming unhappy-- seems to dislike school, asks to move schools because he wants friends. He's in therapy for social skills and cognitive behavioral. The teachers apply accommodations but it seems inconsistent (private school). DS is underachieving but it's not a concern right now because his IQ more than compensates. It will be a bigger problem in middle and high school, I'm sure.

Thoughts on medication?

[Anonymous]

I posted recently on a similar thread about ADHD. As a research scientist, I read all the primary literature on ADHD meds prior to medicating my son. Stimulants for ADHD are the safest and most effective psychiatric drugs in existence, basically. What has NOT been researched are the very long-term effect on brain health. In research, "long-term" means one to two years out. Studies about middle aged or elderly people's health after decades on meds have unfortunately not been done, because it is not a priority, and these studies are the most expensive types. My husband worries about whether ADHD meds increase the probability of different forms of brain degeneration. I think that since brain frontal lobe efficacy is the last to develop (in teens), and the first to disappear (in the elderly), a person with ADHD, whose brain is impacted in just that area, is most likely anyway to become senile!

If you already have a recent evaluation and diagnosis done by a reputable psychologist, you can look for a serious psychiatrist, one who won't throw drugs at your child, but who will listen closely and work with you to get your child to the right dosage (the minimal effective dose).

The decisions to medicate or not is between you and your child (if mature enough). Do you feel that his condition is impacting his self-esteem, happiness and personal growth on a daily basis and in a significant manner? Not to mention academic potential. It sounds as though you do, and in that case, perhaps you should try medication. Stimulants can be tried and stopped relatively easily.

[Anonymous]

It will not get better for your son. It will only get harder as social dynamics get more complicated and school work gets more complex. Yes, IMO, if it is affecting his self-esteem, it is time to try meds. There are also long term affects of letting a child struggle with ADHD.

[Anonymous]

Anxious, getting into trouble, socially isolated... Yes, it's time for medication especially when your DS is getting worse with social skills and cognitive behavioral therapies and accommodations at school.

[Anonymous]

I would try moving schools first. Hard to tell but some of that may be classroom management issues. Also at 9 he is old enough to have a say on whether he wants to try the meds.

[Anonymous]

I just started medicating my dd last year when she was 9 in May. We waited until we had an IEP in place, but by that time, she hated school, had a lot of difficulties socially, and her self esteem was low. I wish that I hadn't waited so long. Now in 4th grade, her teacher describes her as organized, efficient and a joy to teach. She has also gotten along much better socially, and her self esteem has increased. Last year, she even had crying jags in the hallway at school at least 4 times where a counselor had to help her calm down. These jags would last up to 45 minutes and caused a lot of the girls to avoid dd. So anyway, yes I think it's time to try medication. We are using Quillavant XR which is a ritalin type stimulant. My dr said to use up to 4 mls. We actually started at .5 mls, and increased by .5 mls every few days until it seemed to "work." We are at 2.5 mls for all of 4th grade so far, and dd said it helps, and her teacher of course does as well. She went from 1's and 2's in organization to 3's and 4's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would try moving schools first. Hard to tell but some of that may be classroom management issues. Also at 9 he is old enough to have a say on whether he wants to try the meds.

I posted below about my dd, and yes I did give my dd a say. The second day, she refused the medication, and I said - it's not like antibiotics, you don't have to take this medicine if you don't want to. But I think it could help you focus better at school. She agreed to take it, and now she will even request it on weekends when she has soccer games where she wants to be able to follow what is going on during the game. She takes it every day for school and during soccer season for games. She goes off it on weekends. Although I will say that the dr recommended a full 3 week period at the beginning where she would take it every day, and we did follow that recommendation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would try moving schools first. Hard to tell but some of that may be classroom management issues. Also at 9 he is old enough to have a say on whether he wants to try the meds.

I posted below about my dd, and yes I did give my dd a say. The second day, she refused the medication, and I said - it's not like antibiotics, you don't have to take this medicine if you don't want to. But I think it could help you focus better at school. She agreed to take it, and now she will even request it on weekends when she has soccer games where she wants to be able to follow what is going on during the game. She takes it every day for school and during soccer season for games. She goes off it on weekends. Although I will say that the dr recommended a full 3 week period at the beginning where she would take it every day, and we did follow that recommendation.

Sorry I mean that I posted above. I'm 15:34.

[Anonymous]

OP, you might want to research "twice exceptional" kids - those with ADD and high IQ. You will find a lot of info, and not just about medication. This is a special group of kids, for better or for worse.

[Anonymous]

OP here- thank you. These are the practical responses that I'm looking for. I always thought the academics would make me cry "uncle" but it's the social stuff. It's painful to watch.

We did strongly consider moving schools- I believe the classroom is some of the problem. I think when a child requires more because of behavior learning issues, it's easy to see where a school lacks in resources and knowledgeable staff. For kids who generally do well, this is an exemplary school.
Realistically, DS's core ADHD symptoms will follow him where ever he goes and moving him is a temporary solution at best.

[Anonymous]

I'm 15:34, and my public school had excellent resources even when my dd was not medicated. She was assigned to a teacher with special education background, she got pull outs to small group instruction for math and language arts, and yet dd still struggled a lot. The teacher would notate on dd's papers on how many times dd had to be redirected. The teacher used this to calculate how often dd was off-task. My dd was off task 63% of the time, and every single math quiz was under 50%. Now she is doing great at math and not off-task. The teachers never have to redirect her whereas she was constantly redirected when she was not on meds, and it didn't make any difference. She couldn't focus because of her ADHD and no amount of accommodations would change that.