spending the day out w/baby

[Anonymous]

we have recently transplanted to the suburbs from the district and i find it very difficult to do things around here with an infant

how do you 'suburbanites' do it? you can't walk to any coffee shops or retail stores, bethesda is lacking as far as retail and friendship heights is too far to walk and a waste of a ticket for the rail ride

what do you do during the day? you can only go thte park every so often, the malls smell and are overcrowded

we made a choice to move here for my husband's job, but it is a bit ridiculous in the lack of things to do

any suggestions?! wouldbe very welcomed, i am at a loss, all i see is post after post for these 'playgroups', moms around here don't go out with their friends during the day to do 'normal' things with their babies?

i am a bit shcoked at the difference in 'living' here, i do not mean to complain too much, but it is really a shock to mys ystem!

[Anonymous]

You are not the only one dear!! I miss city life and living -even on the outskirts of DC- really does not cut it. Something to try (through this forum may help) is to find those who share a similar lifestyle as you and are willing to meet up in the area. I certainly would!

[Anonymous]

Winter is definitely tougher.

First, you have to get over the walking thing (I say this as someone who had to get over it myself). In the suburbs, you do a lot more driving - by definition, it is not an urban enviroment and has lower density.

Second, when the weather is nice, you can indeed go to the park every day.

You might try a class with your baby - it will be much more interactive for the two of you, rather than parking your baby in a stroller while you shop and sip a latte.

Also, your baby won't be a baby forever, and soon will have limited patience for the coffee shop/retail routine anyway. You would do well to start seeking out activities you would both enjoy. Puppet shows at Glen Echo, etc. It will take time to figure out what works for the two of you, but you'll get it. It takes a while to get used to a new area, regardless of whether you have an infant.

Also, babies and toddlers need time to just be at home, play with you, and play with toys. I have to remind myself of that when I try to get my small daughter out of the house, and she asks if we can please just stay home today.

[Anonymous]

I'm just confused OP, what "normal things" are moms in the city doing that moms in the suburbs aren't?

Not trying to be snarky or start a flame, I'm just saying that just because they are in the burbs doesn't mean they aren't doing things. They do probably have to drive to do them though, so maybe you aren't seeing them walk to go anywhere. (Especially in February!)

[Anonymous]

I am confused as to what you think "normal" things to do with a baby are. Do you mean shopping and going to coffee shops? I live in Arlington, so I can't really speak to the Maryland suburbs, but I think there is a lot to do here. There are storytimes, indoor gyms, coffee shops, tons of playgrounds, different activities at bookstores like concerts, puppet shows, etc. True, these things are more geared towards kids than adults, but as your baby gets older, that is what he/she is going to want to do anyway. You are not going to be able to just hang out in stores and coffee shops with a baby who wants to crawl/walk.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP:
I can completely relate to you. When my first son was 1.5 yrs. old we left the city for the 'burbs. I was so frustrated because I loved walking through the city with him in his stroller, doing many of my errands without ever having to lift him in and out of a carseat and also just the stimulation for him - stopping to look at dogs in the park - watching the busses go by - I could go on and on....Even in the winter - still easier to have him bundled in his stroller and just get out there and move!
Anyway, now he is 6 and my other son is 2 - we are back in the city! I have to say - there are pros and cons to both. My 2yo is much more active - he wants to walk everywhere - great - but he is either so slow or he runs towards the street and I am panicking! Sometimes I actually put him in the car and drive the few blocks to the playground!! And my six year old is in school - I have to drive him anyway - sometimes I wish we were back in the suburbs so I could park more easily, and since I am driving anyway - its a little less hectic. That said - I love the city - as a SAHM I love to be able to pop into a museum if I have the time, when we have a sitter and my husband gets home from work at 7 or 8 we can still go to a hip restaurant .....when we were in the burbs we couldnt turn around and go back into the city as easily.....Anyway, we left a big house with an attached garage for an apartment and a parking space out back - I flip-flop on how I feel!
I guess you make the best of your situation. I used to pack my things up for me and the baby and drive into the city on nice days - park and "pretend" i still lived there - doing all the things you miss. It was fun - although some days - not always worth it!!
Just wanted to let you know how much I can relate.....

[Anonymous]

Wow, OP, I came here to post a very similar query. However, I do live in the District. I have an infant daughter, but I do not feel like spending everyday (or more than one day a week) in the coffee shop. And frankly, I would prefer not to spend my days shopping unless it is a grocery type essential. As long as the weather is okay, I take a walk through the park and we play in the house as well. I try and take care of household tasks (cleaning, cooking, laundry), but honestly, I catch myself watching too much TV.

It's interesting that some of the 'burbs folks miss walking to errands. In this cold, I think it would be far easier to drive. The grass is always greener . . ., I guess.

[Anonymous]

I live in Rockville, and often wish there were more places I could walk to with the baby in the stroller. She tends to zone out in the car, but babbles happily when we're out for walks in the stroller. Not to mention that it would be nice to integrate some exercise in normal errands and take the time to explore neighborhoods as something other than the most direct route from point A to B.

But it really is personal preference. I think you tend to be more comfortable going for walks where you see other people walking. I lived in Germantown when I first moved here, and it was months and months before I ever saw anyone on a sidewalk. It was creepy.

[Anonymous]

Oh, boy, I feel for you! Are you close to "downtown" Bethesda?
I'm in the city and we can't leave because of what you've pointed out! There are many pros to the burbs, but when it comes down to it, we always just say "But it's Bethesda (or whatever other burb we look at)!"

Why did you leave the city? If your dh's job is in Bethesda, a reverse commute is pretty easy from NW DC. If you're miserable, you can always move back!

You really have to meet some moms in the neighborhood. It's vital to survival with an infant/toddler as a SAHM.
You can always take the train to Woodley Park for the zoo, etc...

[Anonymous]

hi am the op
we are now in bethesda but not within bethesda proper

my husband was working owntown and is not employed father up 270 in germantown so we decided to move a bit farther out form the city
we are very much reconsidering our position

i did tno mean tto imply that all we do is go to coffee shoppe and shop for shoes all day long
in dc we could go to museams, run along the basin, meet friends for lunch or just walk the dog around the block one million time ans go do the park

you cannot do this where i live and it is very frustrating, the moms in my neighborhoos are very ncie but they do ano appreciate my style of child-reaing, i like to walk to where i want to go and i like to be outside on a cold day and nto in confine of the house
everyone saiys to drive anywhere and the baby will love to play in the shopping mall area

is that what you do all day?

[Anonymous]

Hi, I'm the 8:59 poster. How recently did you move? We moved further out last spring. I was pretty miserable at first, but it has just taken time to find my way around. Winter really is the worst - I promise it will get better when the weather warms up.

Here are some things you can do:
Go to the library. Some of them have nice children's sections and storytimes.
Go to Barnes and Noble. There is storytime and watching the little kids play with the trains.
Check out Parks and Recreation programs.
Check out programs at the community center. There are a lot of classes there you can take, in addition to unstructed activities and a playground.
Try classes at My Gym, Little Gym, JW Tumbles, Musikids, Gymboree - depending on what's closest to you.

When the weather warms up, you can go to Glen Echo Park, Cabin John Park (enormous shaded playground + train rides), and join your local pool club. You might also look into your local chapter of MOMS Club - it's a great way to meet a lot of other moms in your area.

I also took DD for walks when it was cold - when she was a baby. I could keep her warm with the Bundle Me and protected from wind with multiple canopies. Now that she's older, cold weather is tougher. She wants to run around and be active, but won't keep her mittens on, etc, and gets cold pretty quickly.

Do you now have a backyard? You could buy a playset with a swing. I don't know how old your baby is, but I'm sure by summer, it would be a big hit.

Playgroups and playdates help with the isolation. I hope you are able to settle in to the area. You are right - the mall can be a soul sucker after a while!

[Anonymous]

Hi OP - I posted before about feeling exactly the same way - I just want to say that while everyone's advice is good - I know EXACTLY what you are saying. The burbs are different - and I know I am offending some suburbanites - but it's not that one is better than the other....it's just a different style and vibe! The energy of the city just makes taking a walk more interesting and fun. I once had this discussion with mysister 'cause she lives in the mountains and hates the thought of city life. She said when she takes a walk she likes solitude and the sight and sound of nature - Ilike traffic, people and the sights and sounds of the city!
All's I can say is when your children start school - you might feel a little better. It is easier when they are doing activities and stuff. Mine are in private school and when they have friends over or go on playdates I am sometimes driving out to the burbs or all over the map.....
Hope you figure things out - hang in there!!

[Anonymous]

moringh, op again

we moved here for six months now and my son is thre years of age
we have a larger garden now and also have purchased a jungle gym set in sommer when we bought our home
many mudthers in the neighborhoods only want to have playdats where you go over to their house and they go to your house and this is very nice but sometimes it is too mcuh, a change of senery is very nice at times

thank you for the suggestings of places to go we will investingate on all arenas of places to go and hopefuly can find things to do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:baby will love to play in the shopping mall area

is that what you do all day?

Okay, OP. This is getting a little snarky. No, we suburbanites don't spend all day in the mall. I'm in Arlington and have never set foot in a shopping mall play area. We walk to lunch, tumbling class, grocery store, the children's bookstore, and story time. Yes, we have to drive to the library and art class, and most other errands. But you have to make the best of what you have and get out there and make it work for you. You've obviously moved somewhere that doesn't allow you to walk to many places. You must have realized that when you bought it, right??? There are tons of kid-friendly things to do in Takoma Park, Bethesda and NW dc, which are all close to you. You're going to have to get over the driving thing if you want to leave your house. If it makes you feel better, drive to the metro, park, and get on the red line. Just roll with it - criticizing and complaining aren't going to help you. Go to the zoo, meet a girlfiend for lunch. If the moms on your block aren't your type, find other like-minded moms and get out there.

[Anonymous]

yes Op here again

i think what you said pp is very rue and inconsideratte, i lived for my 35 years in europe and never in a place we can not walk to go where we need i spent 5 years in washington dc and new yourk and so this is very differnt and dificult for me

i cannot find a home and interview all neighbso to know if they are copatible with me and yes we move here sand we know the driving will be difficult but you never know one hundrd percent how it iwll be

i cannot change my ways after 43 year of doing the same thing it is a hard thign

thank you for the nice response of activitis to do we will try some and maybe times will change and we feel etter about our suorrounding