Do you have a chronic illness? What job do you have?

[Anonymous]

I work four days a week and i have two small kids and I have a chronic illness that is doing terribly. It has been bad the last two years and I have often had to take time off from work because of complications and pain. My boss has been supportive but she is also under pressure that I am late on so many projects. I think I will probably give notice next month and look for something else. But now I need to think of what the next thing is. My DH thinks I should take a few months off and focus on my health but I'm worried that the stress of not having a job will exacerbate my condition. Can anyone relate? What has worked or not worked? Any tips?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP that is rough. We are learning to deal with a chronic condition in one of our DKs.

Is your chronic illness treatable or does it go into remission if you take better care of yourself? Your children are young and you want to be around for them so keep that in mind. If you can cut back and do okay financially then that might be good for the next few years, especially if your kids could end up with same illness you have.

[Anonymous]

PS I should say I was getting ready to return to work full-time but DK's illness is unpredictable right now and I couldn't guarantee I'd get there on time and would probably have to miss during DKs flares. Just want to say hats off to you, I don't know how you manage all that.

[Anonymous]

Could you negotiate part time at your current job?

[Anonymous]

I ended up quitting my job and I had good intentions to go back but they continue to be bad enough that we decided it as best not to work. Fortunately, we cut back and husband got a pay raise that we could make it work.

[Anonymous]

I had Lyme for several years and associated infections. I missed a lot of time when I first got sick, then was ok. But a few years ago, I had to take a few months off due to a flare. I had paid leave accrued so that was ok, but I almost lost a scheduled promotion as a result. I got it a bit later after coming back to work. I am not sick anymore, but I'd say that you should take time off if you need to get better. You don't want to get so I'll that you literally can't work, which is what happened to me.

[Anonymous]

I do but have no job. If I did I would have been fired by now. My husband supports me so no, I don't feel bad about it all. Life threw me something I can't change so I manage and do the best I can. I'm afraid in the coming years though the pain will become harder to accept. That scares me.

[Anonymous]

I have a chronic illness (cancer), and a chronic condition (diabetes; heart issues).

I am in a flexible job, so it is not a problem. The understanding is, if I am not feeling well, I go home. Somedays, a two hour nap revitalizes me, like yesterday. I worked from 7 AM to 1 PM, slept from 1-3 and worked from 3-5 (at home).

My management is aware of this. If they were being jerks, I would have pulled out the ADA to define reasonable accommodations for me.

[Anonymous]

I do and went back to work recently because I thought I was better. Turns out the self-care I was able to do when not working was the trick but not permanent. So the PP hit it spot on who said "condition that goes into remission when you can care yourself". This is me. It will never disappear but the symptoms are manageable and bloodwork was all looking so much improved - until now. I've had a quiet battle with this ever since I've started my job. And every day I debate if I should leave. I like my work but it's taking too much of a toll on me. I enjoy working though and don't want to not work at all. I think I either need part time or flex from home. My job is great and boss values me but I do not see how PT would work so I haven't asked. I think I would have to leave but I've still been mulling it over. I do worry that in the meantime, what if I am doing irreparable damage to myself.

[Anonymous]

^ And that said, if your DH is supportive and you have the means, please take off some time! When I did this, I had no idea what good could be. I was world's better. It was a slow improvement and it involved a lot of self care. You may be really surprised to see how much better you so when you can actually devote sometime to yourself for a change and also get the adequate rest you need. It changed my life! Unfortunately, I got a little overconfident and thought I was cured - even though my Drs told me that wasn't possible.

[Anonymous]

I have a regular 8-5 professional job. It doesn't pay well and management is a little toxic, but I have a lot of flexibility to go to my monthly specialist appointments, and take time off as needed.

When I am in remission (most of the time now that I am on a good treatment plan), I am extremely productive at work, to make up for when I am sick. You can't be a mediocre employee AND take a lot of time off.

[Anonymous]

My mother had her first Multiple Sclerosis crisis at 26. It put her in the hospital for a month, and then throughout her life these crises reoccurred, and left her with increasingly debilitating hand tremors. She had to stop working in her early thirties. Now in her 60s, she has not been able to write or sign her name for a while, and needs help to eat, walk and take care of herself.

Thankfully my father had a stable job and supported us.

You need to take some time off and assess how this illness might develop. Could you perhaps have a part-time job?

[Anonymous]

Kids plus chronic illness plus demanding job was too much for me. Despite really wanting, and loving, my career, I quit and my health improved. In our case, it was much less stressful to have DH concentrate on his career and for me to stay home, but DH really loved his job too, and was promoted after I quit, so it worked out relatively well.

The one thing about quitting was that for the first 2 or 3 years after I quit former colleagues would ask if I was ready to come back. That was a pleasant surprise, even though I never pursued anything. If you have an established career, and can financially take a few months off, I'd do it.

[Anonymous]

I have several conditions. When I first returned to work as a contractor my symptoms got worse and that is when I got a second diagnosis. I had to miss a lot of work and they finally cut me from a project when I had taken off due to a medication change. I probably could have pulled out the ASA on them but I didn't because I could barely walk.

Since then I've been working as a freelancer from home. It's not manageable financially and I'd like to try full time work again but I'm not sure how it would go.

Also, for me, and everyone is different, but I feel like when I stop working it's like I've given up. If it was financially ok to stop working I might do it, but pre-illnesses I was a workaholic. It defines me to an extent and I don't want to let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work four days a week and i have two small kids and I have a chronic illness that is doing terribly. It has been bad the last two years and I have often had to take time off from work because of complications and pain. My boss has been supportive but she is also under pressure that I am late on so many projects. I think I will probably give notice next month and look for something else. But now I need to think of what the next thing is. My DH thinks I should take a few months off and focus on my health but I'm worried that the stress of not having a job will exacerbate my condition. Can anyone relate? What has worked or not worked? Any tips?

I am a teacher. I have taken several leaves of absence over the past 4 years. It sucks because I love my job and used to win teaching rewards. I don't quite qualify for full disability, but my condition is likely to progress in the next five years. I'd like to continue working because I want to contribute to household finances, so I keep taking 6-12 weeks off as needed. Each time, it was really helpful because I was able to focus on treatment and rest. Knowing my job was federally protected and having short-term disability insurance relieved the stress of temporarily not working. I suggest you consider taking FMLA time and see how you do health wise and financially.