Is this part of or related to ADHD-Inattentive?

[Anonymous]

My 3rd grader seems likely to be diagnosed with ADHD-Inattentive. We're doing a full neuropsych in a couple weeks, but it seems we are likely headed in that direction. The basics are that he is REALLY struggling in school (though previously scored highly on testing to get into private school), is terrible with anything detail oriented (language arts), terrible with anything requiring a process or multiple steps (math), frequently has to be reminded to stay on task at school, loses his stuff constantly (typically several things a week), has to be told multiple times to do anything, generally seems immature, and on and on. I realize it's possible that the neuropsych could find other issues, like learning disabilities, anxiety, etc.

However, there is another issue with him that we find troubling, and I'm wondering if anyone else sees it in their ADHD kids. DS has very little interest in anything. He may have slight interest but the minute things get difficult, he isn't interested anymore. He also just doesn't seem to try very hard or have any interest in getting better at anything, even the things he claims to like (like baseball). He has quit or wants to quit most of the sports that he has been involved in, even though his friends still play (lacrosse, soccer, swimming, basketball). He has declined to participate in school track/cross country, tennis, choir, drama, band, chess (some of these he can't participate in until next year but different friends have indicated they intend to participate but he doesn't want to).

He does play baseball and is a decent baseball player, but as things are starting to get more competitive, I can easily see him deciding that is too hard as well. He also spends a lot of time messing around when he should be paying attention at practice or during games. He'll do clinics or camps if offered, but he really doesn't care about them and would probably rather be home on the couch.

It would be fine if he just wasn't a sporty kid, but there aren't other things he wants to do either. No to art classes, martial arts classes, music, drama. He's not a big reader. Just no interest in anything really because everything is either "too hard" or "boring."

Are lots of kids like this and he just hasn't found his thing yet (I realize he's only 9)? Is this somehow related to ADHD and the idea of avoiding things that are difficult or not being able to focus on things? If it is ADHD-related, did any treatments (meds, therapy, etc) change this attitude?

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound all inattentive to me - could be combined. My boy is similar, and meds made a huge difference in academics. He also is better at focus during sports. He also has some anxiety and may wish to avoid things due to that. But as he has gained confidence through therapy and in school now that he is doing better, it has spread to confidence in other things too.

[Anonymous]

Our DS10 was just diagnosed with ADHD-combined and has this trait. He plays travel soccer and enjoys it but is not passionate about it, and really doesn't have a strong interest in anything else besides sitting on his ass watching TV.

[Anonymous]

I have a 3rd grader with ASD/ADHD, combined type, and while he did not have issues with academics or losing things, he has had issues with staying on task, dealing with frustration, and taking risks so much so that he had goals put into his IEP and these issues were addressed in the behavioral plan. Medication made a BIG difference as well as finding something that he is good at that gives him confidence and teaches him perseverance and hard work pays off. It's a cycle and the medication and an activity he enjoys put him into a "good" cycle and took him off the frustration and feeling bad about himself cycle. DS no longer needs the behavioral plan.

[Anonymous]

Kids with ADHD often have difficulty tolerating the frustration that comes with developing new skills. My DH likes to say that our DC suffers from magical thinking about how learning happens: he thinks that everyone else just gets it immediately, and when that doesn't happen for him, he is likely to give up.

[Anonymous]

Everything that you have stated about your 9 year old is the same thing I can say about my ADHD combined 16 year old! And yes, quitting every single thing and not having any passions is an ongoing battle.

[Anonymous]

Sit back and let the neuropsyc testing sort things through. It may help to bring in the results of the test your child took to get into private school. Those tend to be more IQ type tests. If you don't have the results, your child's school will have them on file. Also bring work examples (good and bad) to give a full picture of your child's strengths and weaknesses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids with ADHD often have difficulty tolerating the frustration that comes with developing new skills. My DH likes to say that our DC suffers from magical thinking about how learning happens: he thinks that everyone else just gets it immediately, and when that doesn't happen for him, he is likely to give up.

This is true for my 13 yo and my 9 yo, both with ADHD. It is particularly evident in my 9 yo who is more impacted by his challenges. We don't require our kids to have a 'passion' but we do require them to have a regular physical outlet and to learn a musical instrument. The physical outlet has to be something they do on a regular basis. My older DS loves baseball and while he's not very good at it, he plays spring and fall. In the off season, he rides his bike, walks the dogs or joins his little brother on a training run. My younger DS doesn't like physical activity at all. But, we required him to learn to swim (hoping he would develop a passion) and to learn to ride a bike (thank you, iCanShine). We also sign him up for the school sponsored Running With the Stars. He hasn't developed a passion but he has really seen how progress is made with practice. He's not the best runner or biker but he has improved noticeably. That, too, is a life lesson. Whatever you practice, you get better at.

For musical instrument, we required them to pick on in 5th grade (younger DS is in 4th). If you don't pick one, I will. We then have weekly lessons to get them started and require them to practice 15 minutes every day. They can quit after 8th grade if they want.

[Anonymous]

Question here- along the same lines- when your children were younger did they also have little interest in toys and had trouble finding something to do? My DS is 5 and diagnosed with motor control problems hypotonia etc but he has little interest in "unscheduled" time. He does ok in a class with a ton of structure but have him at home for 15 minutes and he just wanders around the house. Wondering if anyone else had this experience when your kids were younger it seems along a lot of the same lines.

[Anonymous]

That's a great question, OP.

My son's friend with inattentive ADHD gets discouraged easily and always appears uninterested. Part of it is the low-self-esteem generated by the ADHD I'm sure, but I have also wondered whether there isn't some dyslexia going on, which would contribute to shunning everything involving reading.

My son with inattentive ADHD, on the other hand, is very persistent in the things he likes! He is capable of "hyperfocusing", which is also a component of ADHD. He also has some Asperger's tendencies, which makes me wonder whether the persistance might be due to that.

So to answer your question: I don't know

[Anonymous]

Persistence is a major problem.
My 10 year old with primarily inattentive gets bored really easily. She craves novelty. Some of it is just giving up when things get tough, but some of it really is that she just is always looking for what's next, what's better, etc.
My child with primarily hyperactive/impulsive does not have this problem. He had a lot of interests and persists well in them. He just won't do repetitive work.

[Anonymous]

Hey everyone! some things are pathological, and some are developmental.

Just about everyhing that has been described so far on this thread is nearly universal for the age and gender.

NOTE to the reflexive angry parents: I am NOT saying you don't have a 10 year old male with diagnosed ADHD, who likes to sit on his butt, who likes to play MineCraft, and who is generally uninspired and gives up quickly when things don't go well. I believe you when you say he's "non-productive" and has "low frustration tolerance."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey everyone! some things are pathological, and some are developmental.

Just about everyhing that has been described so far on this thread is nearly universal for the age and gender.

NOTE to the reflexive angry parents: I am NOT saying you don't have a 10 year old male with diagnosed ADHD, who likes to sit on his butt, who likes to play MineCraft, and who is generally uninspired and gives up quickly when things don't go well. I believe you when you say he's "non-productive" and has "low frustration tolerance."

Go away, offensive poster.

You don't know what you're talking about and just want to pick a fight.

[Anonymous]

9:14 again. My child has Asperger's as well as ADHD and the Asperger's seems to mitigate a lot of the problems caused by the ADHD to be honest. I've posted before that for DS, the ADHD causes more issues than the ASD ever did. DS has OCD like passions for things like elevators.

DS is hyperactive and inattentive but does not have an impulsive bone in his body. This is the main reason he is so good at chess even as a beginner: Most kids have a tendency to move a piece before "find your next move. Look for a better move."

His issue with trying new things come more from anxiety and perfectionism more than anything. He has a fear of failure and is afraid of doing it "wrong" so may not try at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 3rd grader seems likely to be diagnosed with ADHD-Inattentive. We're doing a full neuropsych in a couple weeks, but it seems we are likely headed in that direction. The basics are that he is REALLY struggling in school (though previously scored highly on testing to get into private school), is terrible with anything detail oriented (language arts), terrible with anything requiring a process or multiple steps (math), frequently has to be reminded to stay on task at school, loses his stuff constantly (typically several things a week), has to be told multiple times to do anything, generally seems immature, and on and on. I realize it's possible that the neuropsych could find other issues, like learning disabilities, anxiety, etc.

However, there is another issue with him that we find troubling, and I'm wondering if anyone else sees it in their ADHD kids. DS has very little interest in anything. He may have slight interest but the minute things get difficult, he isn't interested anymore. He also just doesn't seem to try very hard or have any interest in getting better at anything, even the things he claims to like (like baseball). He has quit or wants to quit most of the sports that he has been involved in, even though his friends still play (lacrosse, soccer, swimming, basketball). He has declined to participate in school track/cross country, tennis, choir, drama, band, chess (some of these he can't participate in until next year but different friends have indicated they intend to participate but he doesn't want to).

He does play baseball and is a decent baseball player, but as things are starting to get more competitive, I can easily see him deciding that is too hard as well. He also spends a lot of time messing around when he should be paying attention at practice or during games. He'll do clinics or camps if offered, but he really doesn't care about them and would probably rather be home on the couch.

It would be fine if he just wasn't a sporty kid, but there aren't other things he wants to do either. No to art classes, martial arts classes, music, drama. He's not a big reader. Just no interest in anything really because everything is either "too hard" or "boring."

Are lots of kids like this and he just hasn't found his thing yet (I realize he's only 9)? Is this somehow related to ADHD and the idea of avoiding things that are difficult or not being able to focus on things? If it is ADHD-related, did any treatments (meds, therapy, etc) change this attitude?

Yes. It sounds like part of the ADHD. My DS9 will become discouraged by activities that are hard, even if he likes the topic. It could be anxiety, low frustration tolerance and/or having the grit to deal with the natural struggle that comes with learning. My DS is engaged at the beginning of a new activity because of the novelty and the later stages because he's good enough to enjoy the activity. It's the middle part where he's not "good" yet and the newness has worn off that gives him trouble.
I've had to make a few decisions about activities that I believe help DS and suit his interests-- then make them non negotiable for a set period of time. In an NT child that would seem controlling but with my DS's ADHD, it's necessary to keep him from becoming a couch potato.